A heavy blow.

Days ago it was reported, here, that Emily Ratajkowski had floated a sort of denial that she was involved with Brad Pitt. The model/actress and world’s sexiest man had been linked since her split with not-very-attractive husband though never spotted together. Ratajkowski, anyhow, told the media, “I’m newly single for basically the first time in my life ever, and I just feel like I’m kind of enjoying the freedom of not being super worried about how I’m being perceived.”

Surfers in her hometown of Encinitas, California, immediately perceived thrown smoke, though, exactly like telling someone George’s is pumping when D Street actually is, what with the “newly single” and “kind of enjoying the freedom” and “Brad Spotting” quickly replaced wearing hats as the favorite pastime of locals.

Could he be ordering pizza from East Coast?

Might he be at the Taco Stand drinking a Modelo?

Sitting in Swami’s parking lot watching an older man over-wax his board?

Alas, hearts broke late last night when our famous first daughter was witnessed making out with a disc jockey and not on the Pacific Coast Highway but rather New York.

Per Page Six:

Emily Ratajkowski was spotted packing on the PDA with Orazio Rispo in New York City last Friday night, weeks after sparking romance rumors with Hollywood hunk Brad Pitt.

The model, 31, and the DJ, 35, were photographed during a date night in the Big Apple – and the two certainly weren’t shy about getting intimate in front of the cameras.

Photos show the flirty pair holding each other close before locking lips on the sidewalk near a street lined with cars.

Following the steamy makeout session, Rispo passed a helmet over to Ratajkowski, who hopped on his motorcycle before they zoomed off together. The model held her new beau close as he drove her to their next destination.

Even if Emrata did bring Rispo home with her, I’m near certain no one would care to see him. That time I saw her in Seaside Market with her then-husband did not impress me at all.

Again, he was real squishy faced.

Not perfect like Pitt.

Sad.

Brutal.

It seems like forever since the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater stole poor little Adriano de Souza’s thunder and revealed the future of surfing. His perfect manmade barrel, peeling and reeling on demand, man in tower pushing button and materializing. Our collective jaws dropped, knowing that it would be only a matter of time until the prototype, in Lemoore, would be reproduced in many better places like Palm Springs, Miami, Oklahoma City, etc.

Except zero have been built.

Oh, the dream ain’t dead, tanks are popping up here and there but no not one utilizing Slater’s patented plow.

And now, in a vicious slap upside the head, it has been announced that Mark Occhilupo’s Surf Lake is set be built in Texas.

Per the press release:

Surf Lakes is coming to Austin, Texas. Staying true to the old saying ‘everything is bigger in Texas’; this freshly inked project is set to be the biggest surf park development on the planet.

With a 12-acre Surf Lake at its centre, surrounded by sandy beach, boardwalks, restaurants, hotels, retail shopping and residency, the 400 acre ‘Pura Vida’ high adventure community will be located just south of Austin’s international airport, 20 minutes from downtown, and 15 minutes from the new $10 billion Tesla Gigafactory, (which will employ 20,000 people).

With the land secured, along with zoning, water, and wastewater entitlements, ground-breaking could be as early as mid-2023. With a Capex of roughly $1.3 billion, Pura Vida is on track to be the largest integrated wave pool development in the world.

The land was purchased by local developers seeking to position a Surf Lake as the centrepiece of their high adventure, mixed-use retail and residential community. In addition to the Surf Lakes centrepiece, other high adventure additions will soon be announced for the Pura Vida community.

Could there be any better fit for a Surf Ranch than Texas?

Imagine the gorgeous cosplay available to World Surf League CEO Erik Logan. Where do you think “cowboy” ranks on the list of his childhood dreams?

More as the story develops.

"Halfway through, my brain felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand knives."

You, of course, know Chris Hemsworth from his many roles playing variations of Thor. You also must know that he is an avid surfer. Oh, not avid in the modern Jonah Hill iteration but actually legitimate. A surfer’s surfer. The Australian hunk regularly folds our favorite pastime into his life and, thus, is aware of both the hassles and joys. The light pains and small euphorias.

Well, you can then imagine my surprise when Hemsworth declared surfing very cold water to be the worst torture on earth. As part of a new docuseries titled Limitless in which our hero “explores the potential of the human body through a gauntlet of grueling ordeals,” the real life superhero took part in simulated drowning exercises, the sort Navy SEALs do, starved himself for days, pulled a truck with his own bulging muscles. And yet, according to the Men’s Journal:

Hemsworth said the most difficult episode to film involved surfing and swimming in 37-degree water in the Norwegian Arctic.

“Halfway through, my brain felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand knives,” he said.

The actor is no stranger to physical challenges, including chilly water — his personal trainer and longtime friend Luke Zocchi previously told Insider that Hemsworth swears by ice baths to help with muscle aches.

Even with the ice bath practice and being a surfer’s surfing, chilly paddling is the worst thing on earth. Comforting to know, I suppose, that those of us who have surfed in the cold are amongst the toughest people on earth.

Go tell your significant other that you and Thor are basically the same, today.

You and Dion Agius (pictured above).

It was the best of times.

The dreams and manifestations of World Surf League Chief Executive Erik Logan are becoming the stuff of legend. But who could have ever imagined that a boy from Oklahoma with a Jaws-induced fear of the ocean would be gifted a wetsuit of armor, conquer the blue and set his course to sit at the very height of professional surfing power?

Who would have ever thought that his second wish, as a child, was to become a fighter pilot, zooming across the skies in a jet plane, locked and loaded just like Tom Cruise’s Maverick and that he would achieve similar success in realizing?

All true as Logan spent two days very near Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, in Fresno, throwing shakas from cockpits.

Per his very popular Instagram:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Erik Logan (@elo_eriklogan)

What a weekend! Wonderful experience to be with the 194 Fighter Squadron the Griffins all weekend as they went through drill. Meeting the men and women who are defending our country, working to keep these F-15 Eagles in the air, and have dedicated their lives to our safety is beyond humbling. Hearing the stories, and witnessing the family of this figher wing was very speical. Thank you to Col Rob “Tigger” Swertfager for having me on base, and my good Friend Scott “Buzz” Anderson for reaching out to me with this opportunity. More to come from this epic trip! #boyhooddream #f15eagle #liveyourdream. See you at The Merge

Amazing but what do you think is “more to come?”

A Surf Ranch Pro flyover?

Sitting champion Filipe Toledo receiving an opportunity to overcome his fear of heights?

What do you think?