World’s best surfer John John “Rough Boy” Florence celebrates milestone thirtieth birthday somewhere on a yacht in the South Pacific!

Conceived in Austria, raised at Pipeline!

There’s a hint of wildness and pathos in John John Florence’s rough boy persona, the two-time world champion who is the last custodian of the old way, talk softly, carry a big stick.

While his peers chase money and points and glory and everything else, Florence took his girl, his boat and a few pals and headed to the South Pacific for the voyage of a lifetime, exciting fans with semi-regular glimpses of his new life via a satellite connection to the internet.

And, now, the shaggy haired boy who enchanted the world in Vogue fashion spreads and as the first tweenie to ride Pipeline, has turned thirty, can y’believe.

Tributes are flowing thick and fast for the level-headed eldest brother in the Florence triumvirate, which includes stylish Ivan and silly Nathan, although none as heart-felt as that from his lifetime shaper Jon Pyzel.


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Pyzel, who is a diabolically sexy former model whose looks have been squandered under the hard Pacific sun, writes,

“Little did I know 25 years ago that this tiny blonde kid (and his whole family) would have such a big influence on the course of my life! Great surfer and, more importantly, a damn fine human! Hope you are getting severely barreled somewhere in Fiji today.”

Pyzel has been making boards for John John Florence since his mama Alex brought the boys to see him at his old bay at Sunset Beach and gave him two-hundred dollars for materials to build five-year-old John a board, his first-ever custom surfboard.

The yellow four-six with  halo of orange rails is “hideous to look at” but now exists as a memorial to a boy destined for greatness.

Enclosed is the trailer for his latest film, Gravity, which features music from seventy-three-year-old rocker Ozzy Osbourne.

Slater (pictured) needing to take action.
Slater (pictured) needing to take action.

Surf fans thrown into panic as much younger, heretofore unknown suitor materializes as threat to Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen’s fairytale reunion!

Time for action.

Surf fans have been feeling pretty darn good about our chances of a fairytale reunion between Gisele Bündchen and Kelly Slater of late. Many candles lit, the Brazilian supermodel’s estranged husband acting ruffled, potential challengers like Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett seemingly sidelined.

The world’s greatest surfer holding priority.

For those unaware, Slater and Bündchen lived a dream, together, from 2005 though 2006. They were iconic, ideal and surf fans have never seen a better pairing.

Alas, Bündchen was swept off her feet by dashing quarterback Tom Brady, and surf fans gave up hope… until a week-plus, that is, when it was revealed that the couple had hired divorce lawyers and were heading for a split.

Surf fans immediately lit candles and tracked every development wide-eyed. Look, there is Bündchen saging her car, sure a sign. And now going to a faith healer exactly the same as Slater. But oh no, Brady’s refusal to retire may have led to the rift? And now, a new heretofore unseen young suitor materializing from nowhere?

Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers just so happened to play Pittsburgh’s Steelers over the weekend and, well…

A bold declaration.

While Slater has been very subtle in his signals, it may be time for him to go all in.

Maybe he can dip his challenger in the trash can like his good friend, the iconic comedian Bill Murray.

Light your traditional candles, please, along with a rosewood scented one.

Rosewood is said to have aphrodisiac qualities.

Gabbard (pictured) not #TeamBiden.
Gabbard (pictured) not #TeamBiden.

Former Hawaii congresswoman and passionate surfer Tulsi Gabbard draws big rhetorical gun, compares U.S. President Joe Biden to Adolf Hitler in fiery speech!

Mic drop.

Last week, the world might have been shocked when Tulsi Gabbard, former Democratic congresswoman from the great state of Hawaii, denounced her party and said she was leaving. In a moving to-camera bit, Gabbard declared, “I can no longer remain in today’s Democratic Party that is now under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers driven by cowardly wokeness, who divide us by racializing every issue and stoke anti-white racism, actively work to undermine our God-given freedoms that are enshrined in our Constitution. I believe in a government that is of the people, by the people and for the people.”

Powerful and in keeping with the sentiment, yesterday in a fiery speech, Gabbard drew the big rhetorical gun.

A Hitler comparison.

Stumping for New Hampshire GOP Senate hopeful Don Bolduc in the Granite State, the noted surfer stated:

“And this is something that is, you know, throughout history, we look at authoritarian leaders and dictators in other countries. I’m pretty sure they all believe they’re doing what’s best. Even Hitler thought he was doing what was best for Germany, right? For the German race. In his own mind, he found a way to justify the means to meet his end. So when we have people with that mindset, well, you know we’ve got to do whatever it takes because, as President Biden said in that speech in Philadelphia, that those who supported Trump, those who didn’t vote for him are extremists and a threat to our democracy.”

Do you think that Hitler’s ashes are rolling in his bunker when gets compared to the likes of Donald Trump and Joe Biden?

More importantly, do you think actively woke surf blog The Inertia will rescind its “Global Advocate Award” bestowed upon Gabbard in 2018?

It would be just like them.

Shannan North, not in this photo of, maybe, his pretty new house. | Photo: Billabong

Rumours swirl concerning mysterious new owner of Billabong’s iconic Pipeline house, sold for a staggering six-million dollars!

"We’re extremely happy that a close friend of the brand has taken on the house." So, who’s the company man with the necessary heft of wallet? 

Earlier today, Billabong’s Men’s Global GM Mark Weber confirmed BeachGrit’s four-day old rumour that the brand had offloaded their famous “A-Team” Pipeline house.

“While we’re not in the business of owning and managing a property on the North Shore anymore, we’re extremely happy that a close friend of the brand has taken on the house and partnered with us to ensure that it will remain the headquarters for the brand and the Billabong Pro Pipeline for many years to come,” Weber told Shop-Eat-Surf. 

The six-bed, four-bath contemporary looking joint at 59-389 Ke Nui Road, sits on 9000 square feet of prime beachfront land and was quickly snapped up by a company insider who’d long enjoyed its fruits.

A gorgeous and intensely atmospheric house!

And, although the sale price remains secret a figure close to six million dollars has been touted. The last time it sold was for three-point six in 2006. 

So, who’s the company man with the necessary heft of wallet? 

Did a little ringing around, or at least fielded a few calls about it, and the smart money seems to be on the recently retired “President of commercial strategy and growth and chief brand officer”, Shannan North. 

Shaz quit the biz after twenty-eight years and is a classic rags to riches sorta tale, beginning in the fabled mail-room of Billabong and working his way to the very top, climbing over the bloodied corpses of soldiers lost in the company’s myriad financial battles. 

A talented goofyfooter, and adored throughout the company, a sweet and gentle soul it’s said, North fits the profile of the new buyer perfectly.

He’s got the cash and he can surf the somewhat difficult lefthander out front.

Bobby Mac and his Suffolk joint described by the selling agent as “Embracing the essence of mid-century modernism."

Legendary surfboard designer responsible for modern shortboard fails to sell “opulent, lavish, extravagant” Byron Bay mansion as property market teeters on precipice of hitherto unseen crash!

Party's over for the property casino!

With a leopard grin, a green flare flaring from his slitted eyes and a tiny body that vibrates with excitement and joy, there ain’t no mistaking the master shaper Bobby McTavish.

McTavish, along with pals George Greenough and Nat Young, was instrumental in the shortboard revolution which washed ashore in 1967, slashing two feet off the boards thereby gifting surfers the ability to hit and hang around the lip.

McTavish’s story is a good one: he was a state-of-the-art shredder who quit competition despite giving hell to the heroes of the time, Midget Farrelly, Nat Young and so on, helped create the modern shortboard, turned Jehovah’s Witness, had five kids, invented, way ahead of their time, these epoxy moulded replicas of pro surfers’ boards (called Pro Circuit Boards), went back to longboards, sold the label, made a little cash and made, crucially, some fine real estate investments.

Like his Palm Springs-themed mansion in Corkwood Crescent, Suffolk Park, which he listed for auction six months ago with a three-and-a-half mill price guide.

Prices for houses in Suffolk Park, once Byron’s poorer cuz, had shifted almost seventy percent in two years. To put that into perspective, in 2019, 2020, a million bucks would’ve got you a place like this.

Anyway, that guide shifted to three-seven and when it looked like the auction was gonna fizzle, the McTavish house was given a sale price of four-point-two million.

No takers.

Now, as the Australian property market teeters on the precipice of a hitherto unseen crash, driven by accelerating interest rates and a terror of overcommitting among buyers, the joint has been taken off the market.

Ironically, McTavish, who’s now seventy-eight, was of that early seventies Country Soul era, surfers splitting the cities and heading to Byron Bay for “full contact rural immersion.”