“I am confident that these changes will set us on the path to achieving our goals and creating a more agile company."

Thirty-two days to the observance of Christ’s birthday, when a magic wand is waved over this dirty dirty world making everything softer and more beautiful.

Or as the wise say,

“One of the more glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.”

Am I feeling a little sentimental?

Salty prints under the eyes?

Yeah, and why not, life ain’t always about staring into the maroon eyes of a big-hearted tranny as your thighs quiver in violent orgasmic release, sweat glistening on her man-made tits..

Anyway, good times, the best times, and who don’t love Christmas?

Well, for sixty Boardriders Inc employees on Australia’s Gold Coast, once ground zero for the mighty Billabong empire, founded in 1973 by master shaper Gordon Merchant and his wife Rena, it’s gonna be a bleak ol’ Yuletide.

As mass sackings continue at Boardriders Inc, the parent company of Quiksilver, Billabong and RVCA, continue across the globe, it’s been revealed sixty of ‘em are coming from the GC.

Boardriders Inc is currently majority owned by Oaktree Capital, an American global asset management firm, but is in the process of being bought, or so we are told, by Authentic Brands Group, “folding them into a robust house that includes Izod, Neil Lane, the licensing rights to Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Muhammad Ali and many other brands plus personalities.”

The mass layoffs, we are told, are designed to streamline the biz on paper, sharpen the bottom line etc.

“I am confident that these changes will set us on the path to achieving our goals and creating a more agile company suited to adapt to the evolving environment,” Boardriders CEO Arne Arens said in a press release.

Industry insiders told The Gold Coast Bulletin, the sacking were “brutal especially just before Christmas. No one knew who was going to lose their jobs or keep them.”

All evidence, I think, that the sooner you can strike out on your own, whether it’s a plumbing biz or a stupid website mining for clicks, the better.

Loose the yolk, work for no man.

Hollywood comes to the provinces!

The surfing superstar Sally Fitzgibbons, who was sensationally dumped from the tour after fourteen years and one hundred and eight consecutive events only to be shovelled a wildcard for the following year’s events following an enormous outcry, has opened the door to her just-renovated “beach shack” overlooking the drink on the NSW South Coast.

Thirty-two-year-old Fitzgibbons is a former world number one whose electric smile, dark and enormous eyes, rippled stomach and with skin painted a deep nutty brown suffused with pink, make her a favourite with sports fans of all pronouns.

Her latest property project, Highline House, built on the headland at Gerroa Beach, where Sally grew up, is a reimagining of the old weatherboard beach shack that used to squat on the dirt.

(Sally bought a place in Minnamurra, near Kiama, in 2009 for $515,000 and sold six years later for over a mill.)

The reno took a year and kept elements of the old joint while building a place she could live in or rent for top dollar, as they say, particularly during the frenetic months of summer when Australians will claw each others’ eyes out to get a piece of beachfront.

“This project became my anchor and why I love the Gerroa headland so dearly,” said Fitz. “Highline House has a unique feel, with quirks that sometimes make it hard to give it one particular style. It is a beach house when categorised, but it’s also open to interpretation, from the visuals of the salt-crusted rock platforms becoming the inspiration for the kitchen bench tops, to the warmth of the Baltic pine flooring and the history of the restored pieces from the original house, including the front door, oars and lifesaving ring.”

It isn’t the most original fit-out, Hamptons, Palm Springs blah blah, but the build looks solid, it’s got a swinging pool hanging out over the ocean, a private gym, and you can run down the grassy knoll to the beach.

Ain’t the greatest wave in the world, but it ain’t so bad either, middling crowd outside of summer weekends etc.

“I grew up in Gerroa so I like my own space. I like catching a lot of waves in the session,” says Fitz.