More dangerous than surfing!
We can sometimes think that our surfing is a very dangerous game, what with stories of drownings and near drownings, shark attacks, decapitations and near decapitations ever present. Very scary to get into the waters without even mentioning industrial pollution or VAL hordes.
But even considering all of the above, surfing has nothing on sword swallowing.
The ancient practice, which began sometime around the first century, Anno Domini, in either Greece or Italy is performed by gulping a blade whilst repressing the natural desire to swallow.
Exciting but also potentially deadly and let us now learn of San Diego legend Scott Nelson, who trades under the name Murrugun the Mystic, who was forced into a Washington D.C. hospital after declaring, “Five Swords scissored my abdominal cavity. It also appears that I pierced the lobe of my liver.”
“Five swords” being a trick wherein Nelson swallows five swords.
The act was allegedly being performed in Washington D.C.’s Six Flags amusement park where first responders were told of “a medical emergency.” Josh Bowren, the Production Manager for Aaron Radatz Productionz, which staged the show according to Six Flags officials, declared, “It was not for an accident during the show but rather for other unrelated health conditions…”
Hmmm.
Nelson is also the only man on earth to swallow a rocket-powered sword and credits his unique ability to transcendental meditation, saying that he “can stop my heart; lower my heart rate, blood pressure…I deal with the pain of my act by doing the mediation, prayer, relaxation technique.”
Even with stopped heart etc., all very dangerous and doctors did not think Nelson would survive. He was even shocked himself, writing on social media, “Holy moly!!!! I had no idea just how bad this was!” Alongside the stomach slashing and liver piercing part of Nelson’s lung was also removed.
Nelson now has medical bills, as happens in the United States, but you can assist here.
Surfing.
You should ask JH about his dick swallowing – heard he gagged and almost died. But like a valiant cock sucker he did finish the job complete with a reach around.
ahhhhh… fuck
There might be some people that do that, but shit is real. I had a few mates that learned to do it with bent coat-hangers, then they graduated to swords. One sliced his throat up swallowing three.
DISQUS
Hey everyone! we’ve got some good news and bad news..
Medieval bukake performance leaves man in hozzy with scissored abdominal cavity
Kinda wish Dez wrote this story. No offense Choz, the adjacent stories are a real skill – completely under appreciated too. Just wishing there was more ‘glistening tonsil tickling rods’ and ‘taking five girthy kill prongs, no hands’.
whoa… new font…who dis?
What’s this new format ?
Nega must have hit the retro modern button
The avatar pics take up too much space now.
Hopefully Scorn will have the space to show off all of his badges!
Ok prepare yourself.
This comment that I’m writing (the one you’re reading right now) is possibly the absolute best comment ever written anywhere ever about anything, with a great chance to never be bettered.
Just remember where you were the day you read it, it may be important to the future, of everything…
(like, comment, subscribe, buy merch etc here, here, here, and here)
That’s a bigly, wooz-size claim, beef !
Surfing
Bring back Maya Weeks, all is forgiven!
File this under “adjacent adjacent”…
Sword swallowing….. Gay!!
How could this have happened? Good on BG for raising awareness on the hidden dangers of swallowing swords.