Fire Saga.

But if you had to choose between being an international singing sensation or a noted wrangler of big waves which would you choose? Of course the two are not mutually exclusive. Makua Rothman, son of North Shore strongman Eddie, for example has conquered both worlds but it is exceptionally rare and, to be honest, I don’t know if you have the necessary double threat skillset.

So which?

Adored by fawning audiences whilst crooning or sliding down the face of monsters?

Well, British singer-songwriter Sam Ryder came to the aforementioned crossroads and chose the microphone. In a stirring interview with the BBC, the Eurovision musical contest runner-up declared that it was a horror surfing accident in Hawaii that guided his destiny.

“I was surfing in Hawaii and my board snapped. Then I got hit by a wave and I very nearly drowned,” he told Auntie. “It pushed me down so far into the water. And the turbulence of the water, the power, is incredible. Fighting against it, you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus.”

The terror left him bed-ridden for a week, pondering what to make of his life.

“Obviously, the golden rule in surfing is ‘never underestimate the sea,'” he continued, “but until it goes wrong, you can’t fathom it. You’re like, ‘I am insignificant in this body of water’. But that day was important to me because I wanted to be very good at surfing and ride the big waves – but [the accident] put me back on my true purpose. I was like, ‘You can’t do the thing you love most, which is music and singing, if you’re at the bottom of the sea.'”

A wise determination.

Ryder, who has luxurious long hair and soft beard, went on to amass more than 14 million TikTok fans, a record deal and Eurovision success.

As an American, I only really know of the business from Will Ferrell’s very funny Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga.

Worth a watch.

Also, though, are you sad not to be able to watch Ryder on the World Surf League’s Big Wave World Tour?

Something to think about.

Only one Makua.

Dark days.

The World Surf League, which will kick off its 2023 Championship Tour in mere weeks, was rocked overnight as an adoring public began questioning its popularity. Much was made, last year, by WSL CEO Erik Logan of the absolute exploding growth of professional surfing at its highest level. Millions upon millions of new fans devouring broadcasts, snatching up merchandise, packing beaches and nowhere more than Brazil.

Logan, and the rest of the League’s executive suite plus commentators, made much about the love their product received from South America’s largest nation. How adored they all were and the “passion” they were shown.

So much “passion,” it was uttered once every three years by the aforementioned team. Maybe more “passion” than had ever been unleashed before. Maybe the most “passion” of all time.

Until, that is, Harry Styles rolled into town.

The pop stud, who has been on a rocket to massive fame, was rolling into the country for a concert tonight, you see, when a truck carrying his merchandise was hijacked by armed gunmen. Per reporting, the bandits subdued the driver, took his truck and its loot of bedazzled t-shirts and fedoras and vanished into the warm night air of Curtiba, which happens to be outside of São Paulo.

More importantly, Curtiba also happens to be the home of World Surf League (née Association of Surfing Professionals) superstar Jihad Khodr. Of course you recall his campaign, which lasted from 2008 to 2009 and thrilled me because I enjoyed his name so much but also his passion.

In any case, no World Surf League merch truck has ever been hijacked in Brazil nor Australia nor Lemoore, California. Stephanie Gilmore jerseys and Italo Ferreira Jerseys and Ethan Ewing jerseys left unmolested. The adoring public wondering how popular the show really is.

Dark days.

Much congratulations.

Let us all be quite frank. Fault can be found with every single professional surfer. Mikey Wright, for instance, bores me with his flair. Stephanie Gilmore can’t do an air to save her life. Italo Ferreira is a hype beast. And on we can go until, that is, we arrive at Carissa Moore. The only defect that can be found in the Hawaiian darling is that sometimes people call her ‘Ris, which is annoying though not her failing.

Moore charges, rips, barrels, airs, is gracious and winning. She is a multiple-time World Surf League champion and also surfing’s first female gold medal winner, smashing all-comers in Japan.

All surfers and, now, all athletes for hours ago she was named as 2022’s AAU James Sullivan Award winner.

The Oscars’ of sports.

The award, which is older than the Heisman, “has been given out since 1930 to the nation’s best athlete. Only one finalist will join the illustrious list of previous winners which include: Bobby Jones (1930), Doc Blanchard (1945), Wilma Rudolph (1961), Bill Bradley (1965), Mark Spitz (1970), Bill Walton (1973), Bruce Jenner (1976), Carl Lewis (1981), Joan Benoit (1985), Janet Evans (1989), Peyton Manning (1997), Michael Phelps (2003), Tim Tebow (2007), Shawn Johnson (2008), Missy Franklin (2012), and the Ohio State University running back Ezekiel Elliott (2014) and the first volleyball player to win the award, Lauren Carlini (2016) plus an illustrious group of past winners.”

Moore beat out Olympic wrestler Jordan Burroughs, Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Bryce Young, NCAA Softball Player of the Year Jocelyn Alo and NCAA Baseball Player of the Year Ivan Melendez to hoist the statuette becoming the first Hawaiian and the first surfer ever so to do.

We, as a group, don’t deserve her.

Much congratulations.