King of Encinitas Chris Cote and newly and wildly single EmRata.

Residents of simple San Diego surf town grow weird as vicarious living through famous first daughter Emily Ratajkowski takes its toll!

Self-realization.

Encinitas, California, some thirty minutes north of downtown San Diego, some thirty minutes south of Lower Trestles and its cobbled stone, is, as simple town and its residents are satisfied to keep it thus.

The sun rises in the morning, it sets in the evening. In the between time, electric bikes are ridden, expensive fishes are surfed. Tacos are eaten on Tuesday, India Pale Ale washing down Leucadia pizza, Cardiff Crack, Rob Machado-themed acai bowls the rest of the week. Mercedes Sprinter Vans are parked on the street, ready to shuttle families to soccer practices, northern Baja, Mammoth mountain.

Nothing more is needed, nothing more asked for, or at least until weeks ago.

For it was weeks ago that Emily Ratajkowski separated from her husband of some years Sebastian Bear-McClard whose squishy name was only out-squished by his squishier face.

Ratajkowski, you certainly know, was raised in Encinitas and participated in the chill lifestyle, save a music video with Alan Thicke’s boy more or less, until these new single days.

And in these new single days?

Well, EmRata is on a rocket.

First connected with Brad Pitt, the most debonair man alive, then some hunky Italian DJ then lady killer Pete Davidson then that hunky Italian DJ again, the run has been head-spinningly wild.

Add in the fact that now Davidson looks sad going to hockey games with his co-star (?) Chase Sui Wonders while EmRata coys it up with hunky Italian DJ.

Ratajkowski, built for fame, has handled it all with aplomb. Looking in control in each and every paparazzi shot. Her star never brighter.

Uncomplicated Encinitas folk, imagining that if she can ride, they can ride, have become weird though.

Breaking up with loved ones then canoodling with new loved ones on electric bikes, wearing hoodies over trucker hats, imagining they too can live the high-flying lifestyle while clearly breaking under the pressure.

Not constructed for this.

Encinitas has gone weird and not in a self-realization way.

Strange times and a fear is beginning to take hold that the uncomplicated days are over.

Famous first son Chris Cote vlogging.

How does the future look?

More as the story develops.

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A lost art. Photo: Eastern Promises.
A lost art. Photo: Eastern Promises.

Oahu enforcer charged with harassment and second-degree terroristic threatening: “He was calling me all these racial slurs telling me because I’m haole, and I’m white I’m not allowed to be at this beach because this is where his ancestors are!”

It's hard out there for a local.

Any surfer who knows anything about anything knows that the practice of “localism” has changed drastically during the past few decades. Certain waves used to have reputations and outsiders were not welcome, infractions in the water were dealt with through or threats of violence.

Waxed windshields. Broken fins. Busted teeth.

And nowhere did this way of life, hierarchy of respect, present itself more poetically that on the Hawaiian islands. From Kauai to Oahu, Maui to the Big One, keeping folk in line was a way of life and time honored tradition. Those who didn’t belong in lineups didn’t paddle out, or if they did, and failed to learn the consequences of their mistake naturally, would be taught on the beach by men with names that struck fear.

Well, times have shifted and now we have influencers attempting to decapitate locals at Pipeline with no penalty.

Cop calling Gogganses creating a free-for-all hell.

One brave man on Oahu’s west side, though, decided to buck the trend of worrying about lawyers this and lawsuits that and enforce the traditional way.

Samson Souza, or Brother Sam, is a native Hawaiian who posted up on Makua Beach six months ago after becoming infuriated by vans full of tourists coming to swim with dolphins. A sign declares “No Commercial Activity,” but was not being policed, and so Brother Sam took it upon himself.

“Swimming with the dolphins, which is against the law. They take pictures of this place and some of them put it on their websites and make money off of it,” he told Hawaii News Now.

Visitor Emily Silge heard about his quest, though, and became real mad. “Well, I had heard there was a guy down at Makua threatening people so immediately pulled right up next to them and got out my car and said you cannot be threatening people. He was calling me all these racial slurs telling me because I’m haole, and I’m white I’m not allowed to be at this beach because this is where his ancestors are.”

A few other similar instances led the Honolulu prosecutor to charge Brother Sam with harassment and second-degree terroristic threatening. He now must appear in court on Dec. 28 and get all in trouble and stuff.

Quick question. Is “haole” really a racial slur?

But also, David Lee Scales had a wonderful idea that the homeless population encamped on many west side beaches should be shipped to the North Shore this winter so they can do the enforcement in return for being sheltered in the Volcom House. A good idea but will Brother Sam’s charging negatively affect the roll-out?

Possibly.

We discussed various plans plus the new, reimagined Pipe Masters on this week’s chat, in any case.

Worth a listen.

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Open Thread: Comment Live on the wildly controversial reimagined Pipe Masters!

Barrel + air!

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Photo: WSL
Photo: WSL

Surf Journalist caught flatfooted as Kelly Slater named “top surf influencer of 2022!”

How was I to know?

Not being allowed to follow Kelly Slater across various social medias has finally but finally sunk its pearly white fangs into my bottom. When the 11x World Champion originally blocked me, BeachGrit, Derek, my wife etc. on Instagram, Facebook etc. some time ago, I initially thought “Ha! I don’t need to follow you to see what’s going on. I got friends, man. Friends who screenshot. Friends who email. Following is so 2012.

And I would get those screenshots and I would feel that I was up to date on Slater’s various musings and goings about.

Alas, it appears I was only being served a portion of the pie, a little bite size of reality, for the truth has revealed that not only is the world’s oldest Pipeline Pro, he is also 2022’s top surf influencer.

According to important social media ranking site Starngage, which “tracks a total of 830 influencers in the United States with between 1000 and 10 million followers,” Slater came out on top.

Once an 11x champion, always a champion.

Nipping at his heels, in second was Bethany Hamilton followed by Alana Blanchard and then the business goes fuzzy, asking for a sign up to “view the full list.” Since the Indian flag hovers proudly on the banner of the site, I declined.

Oh, I have nothing at all against India. I once flew to Bombay with my best friend in order to search for the headwaters of radical Islamic fundamentalism. The journey was going to be filmed and sold to television but we quickly realized the budget had been compromised so tried to buy a monkey, in order to give him or her freedom in a famous monkey temple in Pakistan, but buying monkeys had been made illegal and the monkey black market was full of crooks and charlatans.

After that things got better. We ditched the film crew in Delhi by sending them to the Taj Mahal while we raced to the train station and booked tickets to the farthest hill station possible then railed to Calcutta and toasted the future.

India is fantastic.

Heading back soon, with Derek, to deal with another crook-ish charlatan-esque website that is not involved in influencer rankings but will certainly steal this story.

Adventure forthcoming.

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Explosive allegations rock surf world on eve of Hawaii’s most prestigious surfing contest the Vans Pipe Masters, “They straight-up copied Da Hui’s Backdoor Shootout!”

“And, if John John Florence and Kelly Slater aren’t in it, is it really a Pipe Masters?”

Koa Rothman, the middle son of North Shore enforcer Fast Eddie Rothman and brother to big-wave world champion Makua, distinguishes himself among surfers, and media, for his candour.

A few years back when there was a there was a commotion over a minor wrestle between the Hawaiian Tanner Hendrickson and Brazilian Michael Rodrigues that ended with Tanner being fined and disqualified from the Pipe trials, he described the WSL as “a bunch of fucking corporate pussies…Are they fucking out of their minds?”

Rothman also said Rodrigues was a “pussy” for calling the cops.

Not long after, Koa posted a provocative pre-North Shore winter message telling surfers he’d be “going on whatever wave I want at pipeline. So. That being said, there is only a few people out there that I will not drop in. So. Yeah. No hard feelings. I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just letting you know now that is what is going to be happening. So have a great day and watch out.”

It was a gauntlet beautifully thrown. 

Now, the twenty-nine-year-old with the golden-brown glazed handsomeness, has gone after corporate shoe maker Vans for their “reimagining” of the iconic Pipe Masters, which’ll likely run this Saturday. 

In an explosive piece to camera on YouTube, Rothman accuses Vans of copying the format of the Backdoor Shootout, which his family runs each year, of turning the event into a shoulder-hopping air contest and of inviting surfers who, by any measure, shouldn’t be surfing Pipeline. 

“They invited a lot of people who’ve never surfed Pipe,” says Rothman. “If John and Kelly aren’t in it, is it really yet Pipe masters? If I won, I wouldn’t consider myself a Pipe Master.” 

As for his own inclusion in an event he disowns, Rothman says the opportunity to pocket the one-hundred gees first place cheque is incentive enough. 

After only one day, the post has accumulated a stunning almost-nine hundred comments, all taking Rothman’s side. 

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