"I reject all acts of violence against me," says Michael Rodrigues.
Yesterday, there was a commotion over a minor wrestle between the Hawaiian Tanner Hendrickson and Brazilian Michael Rodrigues.
Words spoken, hands up, fight, snuggle, resolution.
In its usual North Shore way, both men would’ve gone home, cracked a beer and lit up dinner with a vaguely compelling story.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BrRW5_dA43Q/
Of course, this is 2018, not 1975, and therefore Rodrigues called the police shortly afterwards and the WSL disqualified Hendrickson from the Pipe Trials.
According to WSL rules, Tanner’ll get served with a five gee fine.
((i) Monetary Fines and Disqualification.
First Offense: $5,000 USD and automatic disqualification from remainder of the Competitive Event. Disqualification may be waived in a “mutual combat” type situation.
Second Offense: $10,000 USD and automatic disqualification from remainder of the Competitive Event.
Third Offense: $15,000 USD and automatic disqualification from remainder of the Competitive Event.)
Koa Rothman, Backdoor Shootout winner, son of Fast Eddie, bro of Makua, master of popular vlog This is Livin’, summed up popular sentiment with his now trending hashtag, #letthemswing.
Earlier today, I called Koa, who’d just lost his round one heat at the Pipe Trials, for further comment.
“That was the biggest bullshit call I’ve ever seen from the WSL,” said Koa. “Tanner works a normal job at home, flies over here, doesn’t have a sponsor, gets in a fight, beats up someone who wanted a fight and gets kicked out of the contest. It was a fair fight. The Brazilian had his friends there and they ran away. It’s not like any of Tanner’s friends jumped in. The kid put his hands up. It was a fair fight. What if Tanner got beat up? Would he have been kicked out then?”
Koa pauses, winds up a little.
“A bunch of fucking corporate pussies run that show (WSL). It was a terrible, terrible call.”
I mention the relative civility of the fight. No blood, no breaks.
“I’ve seen guys end up in hospital for days,” says Koa. “That was not even close to a bad fight. Everyone’s a pussy. It’s not even the WSL’s business. It’s no one’s business. It’s the two people fighting’s business. They think they own these surfers…
“Are they fucking out of their minds? And the pussy called the cops.”
I express surprise.
“Yeah, a bunch of pussies. That’s all it is.”
#letthemswing.
Let them swing.
Koa could leak my scrotum while I tampo a pica in Fast Eddie rounded chabboo ass? Ask wiggoly to translate
hahaha…….koa seems to be a bad ass…….i wonder why tanner waited so long, to get to hawaii, to unleash his anger.
Why you wanna call the cops, brah?
Koa bru, you can’t buy unto the surf industry lock stock and barrel and then complain about the drones in charge. That’s being delusional, of course they’re a bunch of corporate pussies. You’re either a paid corporate athlete who happens to surf or you’re not, sorry you can’t have it both ways.
Reminds me of the carpark in W.A. with those other two.
Tom Sellack would’ve SUP’d, I reckon.
He surf-skiid, though!
Magnum ain’t no pussy… he’d short board 5’10” pipe 15ft step onto the beach an’ the investigation would be done….the brazo would have shit his pants so bad no dry cleaner could help….
5-0 is on the move.*
*This tortured attempt at humour is based on the assumption that acai helps with regularity.
I missed some important background. What was the lead up to this? Don’t make me go to STAB you fuckwits.
Tough sheet for Hendrickson!
Better learn to control your emotions and behave in a professional manner if you desire to remain competitive in your chosen career path.
You’re exhibiting the same characteristics of self centered lefties suffering from TAD/TDS!
Why would you ask for Koa’s opinion? Who cares about his opinion.
#soft-rod
I’m distraught over that Açaí Bowl. I bet it was a good one.
You ever skated so stoned you didn’t even feel the board under your feet? It was like you were just a brain with eyes floating along. Like, doing tricks and stuff but so baked when you stopped you had no idea what just happened.
Yeah man
Once I skated off the ferry wharf
Riding a pushie to the beach while ripped to the tits was my ‘floating eyeballs’ experience.
Translation; Riding a bicycle to the beach while very, very, very stoned was very similar.
Will the repercussions affect the world title? No self respecting Hawaiin will let a Brazzo get up now surely?
call bobby M. get his take and do a story. not that I care too much for his take, I just want too see his post heat interview again. Todd Kline’s best work.
#boyskeepswinging
Yep ,fucked with wrong neighborhood..
It was like Denzel in Training Day..those homies weren’t buying it
What if meant ants on violins?!?!?
Don’t forget Richard Ramirez killed people up and down the I-5.
From San Diego up to wherever the fuck he stopped up north.
Lived in Oceanside and we were genuinely nervous, started locking our doors..
Loss of innocence..not the first time in my life and won’t be the last..
It was obviously a set up with his mates filming it. They knew he was going to go start some shit. Why is this obvious? Because if they had been harmlessly walking up the stairs and MR got whacked for no reason at all they wouldn’t have retreated down the steps like a bunch of homos. They would have stuck up for their mate. Fuck, it’s not like Tanner is some scary gorilla bodyguard hawaiian type who would make you run away shitting bricks.
And pressing charges, that’s soft in the jocks. Even if Tanner is a fuckwit and all to blame (which I doubt), there is no excuse for dobbing to the cops when the worst that happened was he lost his acai bowl with extra kale.
Call CS-Açai!!!
Dust that shit for prints and jizz, bitch!
Sho’nuff.
Ahm gonna put mah one foot up on dis wall and take my sunglasses off reeeeel slow, an make a funny remark like: “I guess that’s one surfer who won’t be ripping into a bowl right now.”
Num’sayin!?