Advice for our newest friends!
Not one month ago I was shocked to discover that BeachGrit‘s Instagram account, our only real social media, was actually a sleeper cell of easily triggered social justice warriors. I had assumed, I suppose, that BeachGrit had a certain voice that attracted a certain derelict and that this derelict man, woman, child understood that surfing is best when it’s dirty. You can imagine my surprise, then, when not one month ago I posted a screen grab from the cult classic Surf Nazis Must Die featuring a girl wearing a swastika tattoo on our Instagram and was lit up with “Unfollow!” “Uncool!” “This symbol is NOT cool!” Etc.
I had learned from the swastika debacle and simply shared a photo of the World Surf League’s President-elect of Content, Media and WSL Studios SUPing in an elf suit but mocked it up like those classic Gotcha ads of old. You remember…
Ooooee the hell fire rained hot!
@mrbluesky11 summed it up best:
The average surfer is a possessive cunt. They surf better, they are the coolest, ‘only locals culture’. You know what fuck you. Maybe you’ve been lucky enough to live by a good spot and your father, or your circle of friends, were surfing so you got into it. Fine! clap clap! That doesn’t make you special you cunt (to you average surfer). Other people discover it later in age and get hooked too. Where’s the sin? Aren’t we living in a free world? The average surfer is a cunt, buy a piece of ocean, you cunt, and surf all the waves you want, cunt. But don’t give me the look if i get in the water in a foreign spot which is your local one, smile instead, try to know me instead of acting like a dork. We may enjoy a beer later and have a laugh.
But there are tens, maybe even hundreds by now, of similar posts, declaring the joys, passions, stoke of adult learning and casting very mean stares for daring suggest people, especially adults, should not start.
My retort? I give you a wonderful gift, dear adult learner. The gift of harassment. For if you are not vibed, yelled at, vibed some more, vibed again, made fun of, mocked, snaked, mocked again, vibed, sprayed, mocked then you will never ever ever know the true joys of surfing.
mrbluesky11…. appropriate adult learner name if ever i have heard one!
Smile mrbluesky11? Fuck off. I am surfing, enjoying my solitude in my sanctuary with other surfers, not trying to network or make friends. I have slept in piles of fucking dirt in hopes of catching a world class wave – and would have given one of my nuts just to get it at half its potential. Half you newbie barns paddle out in waves way out of your league, putting me and themselves in danger. And you wonder why we look at you the way we do. Now beat it or I’ll make you beat it, and I don’t care if you call the fucking sheriff, been there done that – I’ll smile and one day I’ll catch you with nobody around, I’m patient. Paddle out, stay in your lane which is down the beach at the kiddie pool, shut the hell up and everyone will have a great fucking time. All of the above is a true story.
Shed the the Inertia crowd Chas. Whatever it takes. If this site for one second reeks of patronizing newbs I’m out. That’s a threat bud.
Never worry. And since I’ve started hacking on our Instagram we’ve lost nearly 10k!
*deep breath*
…. I learned to surf at 23, tried it to keep up with a girl I am with, got hooked and have been surfing 2x a week minimum ever since, I am 26 now.
I am the ” intermediate surfer”as defined by Beachgrit
I think/ hope that I don’t fall into the category of “adult learner”, I believe thats a mentality rather than an actual age…. that’s what helps me sleep at night.
When I was completely useless, I surfed shitty beachies.
When I got better I had a sniff at a few points, locals get the best waves, kept the fuck out of the way as a top priority and I havent had any issues
Since Ive been so obsessive about it, I feel like Im surfing better than some of my mates who surf less, but have been since early teens.
Some of the kooks I have seen overseas are, I swear, doing it on fuckin purpose.
I am prepared to be exiled from this comment board 🙁
Im going to stand by my shocking admission and not delete
Its a struggle
I skated for years but didn’t actually start surfing until I was about 24.
It’s all relative and in perspective with many factors. Don’t sweat it.
Do you sweat when you surf?
Was it too sweaty skateboarding?
I sweat when I’m too damn outta shape to paddle or it’s burny in the sun or I’ve worn my wettie-top unnecessarily.
I’m a fuckn dirty kook. Dunno if I’ve ever mentioned that before.
So humble in your shreddiness
I’m an adult re-learner!
Cool
I’m on about my seventh cycle.
Takes no time to lose
Longer and longer to get back.
Be brave!
Mate, that last paragraph is so pure. Prepare to have your heart broken before you can truly love. Also, the voodoo child and yoga gave me a new lease on surfing.
Thank you for sharing. Very brave. You’ll be given appropriate shit in future comments.
Do it 6 times a week and you’ll be hacking out rainbows.
You gotta do some good trolling here to get to get exiled
Give it a go!
Oh trust me, everyday is the goal, I’d say since April its been 6 times a week average, this week so far twice a day… but eventually Ill have to go back to work and stop living at the beach, milking the hospitality of my girlfriends parents
Wear a rashy
Marry late
Marry money
Agreed that upwards of a minimum threshold surfing ability, the mark of an adult beginner is its attitude and behaviour.
Have you ever looked at photos or videos of you surfing? Be careful about self-assessing your skill level; we tend to over-inflate it a few notches, just like with wave size…
I started surfing at 13, and I can’t imagine having to go through that shit without the leeway of being a child!
Unfortunately for my ego, I have seen a couple of vids of me surfing… it hurt for days after… but was necessary to keep me in my place
Video footage is brutal! I used to feel hard done by that I’ve gone most of my life without any video footage. But after a recent surf trip with lots of busy lenses I hope I never see another frame of my ugly squatty “style” and stiff “turns” ever again…
It’s a rare thing to hear a bloke say his girl wants him to surf more. Keep doing whatever it is you are doing.
Good job man, we don’t get to decide when we start, only the way we go about it.
Agree it’s the mentality, not the age.
Idk, it should be fun. If it is, keep doin’ it!
That guys still got his shoes on.
That beach must be supergritty
I’ve always thought it an interesting linguistic difference between two Commonwealth countries that “cunt” is permissible in Aussie and in Canada will have you drowning in Twitter hate faster than a kook trapped in a shorebreak close-out.
Cause in Oz we say cunt every time we say can’t
Whereas they say can’t like ant
So it’s still a shock for them to hear it.
Whereas we are cunting all day
Eg
She can’t be a cunt
Or
I cunt deal with that can’t anymore
shit cunt. cunt eye
“SUP BRAH!” Is all im ever gonna say in the water and on beach from yesterdays incident onwards. Peace.
And when your chick is getting her gear off
It’s only waves.
How come BG attracted the consumer the WSL is trying to attract? Maybe BG should give the WSL som marketing advice.
The flap to our tent is always open!
Like Jenny from the block
Most of them spend their time in the water very close to the beach , beaching their boards and fins deep into the grit while being filmed from the beach or go pro covered in beachgrit . So after a hard days frothing in the foam and when they get home , do you think they would feel more at home with That Big Cold Pompous sounding World Surf League or little old beachgrit ?
I saw a guy on a 7 foot twin fin fish dropping in on everyone, in fun knee high but sloping a-frame waves. He was wearing a WSL comp jersey, while his GF photographed and filmed him from the beach with an expensive camera. He came in every 2-3 waves to check the footage and went out again. So much poo stance, so much flapping of arms. He didn’t even have the decency to backpaddle anyone and pretend to get in position. I don’t know how you deal with that level of nonchalant arrogant self entitlement. Especially when the waves are small and the sets few and far between. One guy completely ruined the experience for 15-20 other people, but no one felt empowered to lay out the rules. I expect he was like “jeez guys, lighten up, have a smile, you locals don’t own it, hahaha”. I just went for a swim instead.
To begin is human
To continue an affront
Beat it Adult Kook
I’m not against adult learners, I’m against people surfing places where they don’t belong, go to a gentle wave and catch a bunch and get better.
Over agressive emerging intermediates are actually the real threat.
kelly’s pool is the new pipeline for adult learners.
It could be the DMV of surfing. Surfing license required. If you don’t pass the surf lake test, no surfing license to surf real waves. Safety first. Should keep adult learners out of the lineup. It will give lifeguards something to do.
Hello sir can I help you ?
Yes I’d like the best spot in the car park , access to secret spots , my own inside position at the takeoff spot at a decent reef and point break , set waves and no one to drop in on me in a 10 km radius of my local break . How much will it cost me ?
Well depending on where you live somewhere between 15 and 20 years .
What ! You don’t do that much time for murder ! I’ve only got 2 months what am I going to do ?
Well here’s an old helmet and there’s a cliff at the northern end of the beach . Have you not heard about Coasteering ? It’s totally you…………
Would it be “I am cunt so I surf” or “I surf so I am cunt”?
I know I’m a cunt because a local at Burleigh told me I was a cunt of a man. Something about that phrase pleased me.
i cunt, therefore i surf
I cunt so hard.
Cuntito rigidus, ergo surf
Cunt you stop?!
You cunt stop the music …
Cunt touch this.
doo doo doo doo!
Das ist der Hammer !
You superfreak!
Cunny Funt.
i kant
i’m not a violent person, and then i think of ‘enjoying’ “a beer later and have a laugh” with this cum rag, and all of a sudden my pacifist limits come in to view.
*into
He sounds like your run of the mill over-sensitive under-sophisticated gay man berating a 16 year old McCafe kid over lukewarm milk in his frappe. Perhaps a Californian. You have no right to use the word cunt in your prissy little bitch voice. Fucken adult learner scum.
Do you think its the comma that does it? It s seems to pre-deflate the obscenity.
He’s definitely using cunt in the American way as opposed to Strayan.
yep – no aussie says “live by a good spot” you cunt and dork in same spiel!!!
I’d bet any money the bitch is Australian. They throw the c-word down there like the n-word in Bed-Stuy.
I reckon it’s Morgan Williamson
I think you mean Austrian
Oh, Beach Grit is Austrian?? Living in a landlocked cuntry would piss me off, too. Though even Canada has a surf magazine. Well, they do one issue a year.
Chas looks pretty Austrian.
He’s a bit of a stormtrooper
Jeezus, don’t start that again.
Upvote for Bed-Stuy where Spike Lee made Do the Right Thing ! Hilarious scene were the grumpy old locals take the piss out of Buggin‘s Hair Cut .
up vote for bed-stuy
Adult Learner swearing.
Prideful kookery is a blight on existence.
“SURFING IS POLITIQUE MOTHERFUCKER!”
“Surfing” is everything but actual surfing
Jeepers Creepers!
And it’s a gerund!
SUP BRAH!
Stand Up Politique?
“Are you part of the solution, or are you part of the problem???
Kick out the (kooks) Motherfuckers!!!!”
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
ah, but to what extent do the cool, witty, artistic, progressive surf brands and publications bear responsibility for the hordes of enthusiastic, presumptuous, annoying-as-fuck adult learners? i’m looking at you, chas!
aren’t you guys the ones leading the cheers for women’s surfing? ridiculing the conformist-jock culture of contest surfing?
its all fun and games until too many cubicle-dwelling tech bros and bro-dettes start watching thomas campbell films, buying kassia meador wetsuits, and telling us grumpy old fuckers that this whole thing is just for “fun”.
Clearly ELo’s burner accounts.