Australia goes into meltdown after man empties bowels in busy beach shower, “Firstly I could smell it, then I saw his feet breaking it up!”

“I hope you had your thongs on!”

After several disastrous summers cursed by, first, pestilence, then rain, Australia’s east coast has eased into the sort of long, balmy days perfumed by great bursts of frangipani long associated with the deeply pleasant island continent.

The disease and wet has given this year a sweetness unparalleled in my lifetime, an urgent need to enjoy it while we can.

In Sydney, a city of almost five-and-a-half-million souls, all roads lead to the beach, usually Cronulla, Bondi or Manly.

And it’s in Manly, where we find a man in his harvest years, “relieving his bowels into a surf club public shower.”

Riso Glogo, who lives in the monied beachside suburb, described his experience of watching the “old man” enjoying his public toileting.

“What a beautiful swim spoiled by an old man, who used a shower next to me to empty his bowels. Then he tried to break it and flush it out. So he blocked the drainage with the whole mess.”

Glogo later told a local tabloid,

“’This was quite disgusting. Firstly I could smell it … then I saw [his] feet breaking [it up]. That made me feel sick … [and I] went outside to shower myself again.”

The response from locals on the Facebook thread was mostly humorous,

“I hope you had your thongs on,” said one.

“I’ve looked up the law on this situation and found out if it’s not claimed in seven days you can keep it,” quipped another.