Wounded toe and bruise. | Photo: Yahoo/Letícia Dornelas

Bloodbath at lawless Australian surf spot The Pass as woman suffers horrific injury following collision with “insincere” surfer, “It’s like there are no rules out there sometimes!”

“I almost broke his board to be honest, I got so furious.” 

A Brazilian woman has lambasted the lawlessness of Australia’s lineups following a bloody collision with another surfer she describes as “sarcastic” and “insincere” at Byron Bay’s The Pass. 

Letícia Dornelas, who is twenty-four and a surf veteran of six years, told Yahoo News she had “excitedly” gone for a surf at The Pass to celebrate a pal’s birthday when the man stole her first wave of the day.

“I thought he was actually going to get out of the way but he looked at me and the way he jumped, it was like he was throwing his board toward my direction,” she said. 

After questioning the wave thief, the man responded in a “sarcastic” manner, said Dornelas, and that his apology was “insincere”.

Dornelas, who suffered a cut toe in the melee, says she swam to shore where a couple helped her dress the wound. When the man came out of the water she says she was so heat up, “I almost broke his board to be honest, I got so furious.” 

Medical treatment, x-rays etc, cost the Brazilian $400 although, this being Australia, she was covered by the country’s healthcare system. 

Dornelas says she went to the press ‘cause she wanted to warn others of the lawlessness in the surf and to care for each other out there. 

“It’s like there are no rules out there sometimes” she said.

This episode has echoes, if you’ll cast your mind back two years, to when a VAL was “verbally and physically assaulted by a guy with a dark green mini-man with dark short cut hair and moustache in black boards” at the same spot.

I followed surf etiquette (been surfing since I was 12) and did not hear any ‘yep!’ or other call on the wave definitely couldn’t see anyone else already on it on the inside or outside. The person who was paddling for the wave on the wave ontnhe inside gave up so I went for it. at the last minute this guys came across the front of my board from the outside to block me from a wave crushing my hand. I said ‘wtf dude’ in shock at what had just happened.

He then repeatedly tried to fight me by asking if I ‘wanted a go bro’ and rammed his board into mine second time creating a large dent on the bottom of my board the size of a breakfast bowl.

I was extremely confused and in shock. I had no idea where this guy came from or why he hadn’t called the wave as is normal if you can see another in front of you. I apologised even though I really did not think I was the one that had been in the wrong but he was too busy yelling over me to fight him..

I’ve never experienced this level of aggression or violence in or out of the surf ever.. and I grew up on the beach! Usually there are grumpy remarks and some apologies but it’s water off a ducks back and people would rather enjoy surfing.

Threatening another with violence is a crime and just sad way to be human. That anyone would consider that a way to interact with a stranger in any circumstances is fucked.

If anyone has had similar experiences at the pass I’d like to here from you. I’ll be making a police report because my property was damaged (board) and I was assaulted. I would suggest anyone who is assaulted make a police report so that the police are in a better position to act on this recurring crime.

UPDATE: in 20 mins you can clearly see from the comments and thier likes that some older white men are justifying or normalising the behavior. Women and parents have been sharing their experiences and mostly condemning the behavior.

Do you condemn or normalise?

Do you, or have you, surfed The Pass? And why?

Cunt of a joint, as we say in France.


Bündchen in previous Chanel campaign. Slater (insert) beside himself. Photo: Chanel

Brazilian bombshell Gisele Bünchen sets wicked thirst trap for surf great Kelly Slater as Pro Pipeline set to kick off!

Country über alles.

Kelly Slater’s head, and heart, should be one place, and one place only, at this very moment. Defending his crown as the oldest living person to win the Pro Pipeline surf contest that is set to get underway on Oahu’s fabled North Shore in mere hours. The 11x World Champion, now 51-years-young, stunned sports fans everywhere when he won the event at 50. The victory kept him above the mid-season cut line and here he is again.


Alas, maybe not for according to Page Six, Slater’s newly single ex-girlfriend Gisele Bündchen is currently partaking in a very seductive photo shoot in a “plunging Versace swimsuit.”


It must be noted that Bündchen, recently divorced from Tom Brady, and Slater were rumored for surf fans to want them to get back together toward the end of last year. It also must be noted that she is Brazilian as are 2023 Championship Tour favorites Gabriel Medina, Filipe Toledo, Italo Ferreira, Miguel and Sammy Pupo etc.

Did she just set a wicked thirst trap for our elder statesman to trip and fall right into?

Country über alles?

Who could have ever thought our candle lighting might have led to this?

Pure voodoo.

WSL official handing tech to surfers. Photo: Pulp Fiction
WSL official handing tech to surfers. Photo: Pulp Fiction

After unparalleled string of brazen idiocy, World Surf League sensibly “adopts” Apple watches ahead of 2023 Championship Tour!

"The idea is to help surfers better plan and focus on each wave, especially in difficult surfing conditions."

The World Surf League, based there in Santa Monica, California, has never met a corporate partner it either did not like or for which would not abandon any semblance of moral. From China’s carbon spewing Great Wall Motors to Barefoot chardonnay to the Barefoot chardonnay of beers Michelob Ultra, CEO Erik Logan and gang have actively tarnished the brand by attaching its name to, literally, anything.

Thus, surf fans woke this morning to a start. After an unparalleled string of brazen idiocy, a new partner has emerged ahead of the 2023 Championship Tour and not only does it make sense, it will likely enhance the whole viewing experience.

Yes per early news:

The Apple Watch will officially be catching waves. The World Surf League announced today that it’s adopting the Apple Watch Series 8 and Ultra as official equipment to keep surfers up to date during competitions. It marks the first time a professional sports league has named the Apple Watch as its official wearable of choice.

Before each heat, each athlete will be given Series 8 and Ultra watches preloaded with a specially made WSL Surfer app. The app will connect with the league’s scoring system in real time and give surfers updates on scores, wave priority, and how much time is left in the heat. They’ll also be able to see how many points are needed to either advance or take the lead. The idea is to help surfers better plan and focus on each wave, especially in difficult surfing conditions.

Aside from the surfers knowing how much time is left in their heats, what the score is etc., I’d imagine that real time data will be gathered from them. How much distance they have paddled, how fast they move when up and riding, the force exerted when Filipe Toledo punches his board after failing to catch a wave at pumping Teahupo’o and won’t that information be fun for us at home?

I think yes.

Knowing the World Surf League like I do, there is very little doubt that the League will also be selling the information gathered from surfers to Big Data and so the aforementioned Filipe Toledo will also start receiving advertisements for 5 lbs dumbbells as soon as he gets out of the water and checks his phone.

Exciting times.

Quickly, though, as I read through the first paragraph of the cut n paste portion above, the bit that reads “The World Surf League announced today that it’s adopting the Apple Watch Series 8 and Ultra as official equipment to keep surfers up to date during competitions…” it makes me feel that Apple is not, in fact, paying the WSL nor is it a partnership, rather just another part of the uniform.

Am I right?

Big Data certainly getting a call.

Two of surfing's most notorious tough guys, BeachGrit's Chas Smith and Stab's Ashton Goggans, always ready to exchange slaps!

Lifelong surfer claims the sport has a “lack of violence” problem, “Those of us armed with experience, knowledge and passion for surfing are the ones who must take a stand and it must be violent!”

"The surfer is mostly peaceful and loving and kind, but is more than willing to throw down when needed to protect their friends or their lineup."

Humanity is mostly made up of idiots and followers. 

I am an idiot most of the time and a follower more often than I would like to admit. 

We are short sighted, selfish, inconsiderate, and generally clueless. 

We believe in silly religions, sillier politics, and most of us base our lives on ideas that were given to us, as opposed to creating a life of our own. 

To steal from an old dead drunk, for me surfing is the joy that sometimes comes along out of nowhere, rising like a falcon moon across the impossibility, like a perfect set wave coming in while you are out the back totally alone. 

Surfing is its own world, its own planet, its own society, existing often outside of mainstream society. When a kook/barney/noob paddles out into a surf lineup they are in nearly immediate conflict with everyone out there, unless of course they are willing to stay out of the way and show respect….this is not usually the case. 

And while these adult learners and lifelong kooks who refuse to learn basic etiquette may not be assaulting other surfers with their fists, they are responsible for nearly all of the violence, injuries, and accidents that happen in surf lineups. 

What can be done to combat this attack upon our beloved space? The place that serves as respite from our toxic relationships, soul crushing jobs, and a society that has no interest in our passions, hopes and dreams (often just for a glassy day and a turn here or there). 

I will argue here that those of us armed with experience, knowledge, and passion for surfing are the ones who must take a stand and that it must be violent, or at the minimum have a threat of violence of that is real and doesn’t fold like a young Filipe Toledo at Chopes, or me at anything over ten foot. 

Some people are awesome, unique, selfless, thoughtful, and considerate. 

Some people have built up their own ideas of what is right and wrong even if capital “T” Truth doesn’t exist. 

As Tom Robbins wrote in The Still Life of Woodpecker, 

If you’re honest, you sooner or later have to confront your values. Then you’re forced to separate what is right from what is merely legal. This puts you metaphysically on the run. America is full of metaphysical outlaws. 

It is my firmly held belief that the spirit of the surfer is the outlaw spirit. Ever since I was a neophyte grom growing up in the suburban racially striated suburbs of San Clemente, I imagined the surfer as an adventurer, a fear conqueror, a unique and singular spirit, a total fucking Badass. 

The surfer refuses to be victimized or forced to conform by the society they were born into. They quit their jobs, deal drugs, hustle and scheme, sleep on couches or under coconut trees…they live dangerously to carve out their own form of existence against a society of 9-5’s and families. 

I lived at Ocean Beach in San Francisco where there are plenty of outlaws, but also plenty of weekend warrior tech bros. 

Depending on the spot there, you are going to get a very different crowd. 

Why is the dude on the brand new Hypto Krypto wearing the Isurus wetsuit and getting up on one knee paddling for the same wave as me? 

Why is his equipment so much nicer and more expensive than mine? 

I wonder this to myself while looking down at the holes in my board fixed with wax and the hole in the crotch of my wetsuit that is just small enough at this point my only ball slips out, sometimes. 

But, I ask you this: has surfing etiquette gotten worse over the years? 

Before answering that I want to consider a Milan Kundera quote on nostalgia: 

The more vast the amount of time we’ve left behind us, the more irresistible is the voice calling us to return to it. This pronouncement seems to state the obvious and yet it is false. Men grow old, the end grows near, each moment becomes more and more valuable and there is no time to waste on recollection. It’s important to understand the mathematical paradox in nostalgia, that it is most powerful in early youth , when the volume of life that has passed is quite small. 

Kundera reminds us of the dangers of nostalgia, and I must consider that when delving into tales from the past. With that said, I do feel safe in saying that things are very very dierent now than they were in my youth. 

I live on Oahu now, in town (the south side), after a four-year stint on the West Side of Santa Cruz. 

From my own personal anecdotal evidence from being a generally chatty ass motherfucker, I have found that nearly all surfers with over fifteen years of experience miss the old days. 

The only people who seem to be “OK” with the lack of violence are people who are new to surfing (adult learners), maybe because nobody has to pay their dues anymore. 

When I first moved to Oahu at eighteen I knew I would never surf Pipe (except maybe on four-foot days from April to June when there’s no crowd, shh!) because the Wolfpak ran it and they are scary as fuck. 

Once me and a few friends from Kauai, all of us eighteen, were hanging out in the Sunset Beach parking lot after a surf and a wildly famous local and his crew were ragging on us. 

My friend stupidly threatened them with a fin and then he drove over two of our boards. We learned the valuable lesson of respecting the locals at a lineup that day. 

On the drive home we were angry at my friend, not the local.

And fuck, older surfers were just generally scary to me growing up. The drugged-out surfers who were good enough to be on tour if they weren’t such classic surf fuckups, the San Clemente locals in their twenties and thirties that surfed my beach breaks, were terrifying. They ran the spots with a punch here, a shove there, on the rare occasion a broken board. 

We knew not to fuck with them and on some level we wanted to be them. 

When I first got my license, me and two of my friends decided it would be a good idea to speed around our suburban neighborhood in our cars having a water balloon fight while driving. 

Two of the local surfers chased us home and nearly killed us in my driveway, and they were right to do it! We were being incredibly fucking stupid and risky for no reason. Risky for no reason is the main thing that should bring about violence. If not for these older drugged out misfits scaring me and my friends senseless, who knows how many kids we would have run over that day or week?

San Clemente isn’t known for its violence, but even surfing in the nineties it was not uncommon to see violence. There are tons of locals not famous enough to recognize who held spots down. 

Once a kid I went to high school with burned one of the fifty-year-old ripper dads on my block and then flipped out the dad. The dad paddled over to him, gave him one punch in the face and paddled back out to the lineup. 

If this happened today, the dad would probably be doing time in the big house. The kid paddled over to me, and I told him it seemed fair to me and that as long as he respected the etiquette he could continue to surf there without a problem. 

I also encouraged him to apologize. 

Growing up was a string of these incidents. My high school had a group of five kids that actually called themselves the Surf Nazis. 

Did I get into fights with all of them? Damn right I did. 

Did I hit one in the chest with my board and another by doing a cutback into his ankle leaving a curtain of blood flowing from his leg? Fuck yes. 

Do I have any regret for doing that or giving the long speeches I gave afterwards about racism and respect? Fuck no I don’t. 

Funny enough, the last time I got into with them was when one of the Surf Nazi’s burned me at T-Street.

I followed him all the way until the wave was over. I was a patient little monster. After getting o the wave, I chased him down and threw him o his board, grabbed him with one hand around the throat and reached back to punch him. Before I could land my justified and moral blow, I was gripped in the shoulder. I turned around to fight this stranger and realize it is Chris Fucking Ward, who I have seen in fist fights at Riviera more times than I can remember. 

Chris looks me in the eyes and says, “It’s not worth it man, he’s not worth it.” What a strange experience that was, and it was one that has always made me think of when violence is and isn’t appropriate. 

All of these little tales bring up the issue of whether or not violence is ever acceptable. The main thesis I stand behind is this: In a surf lineup, violence and/or the threat of violence will actually prevent more injuries than a lineup where violence is nonexistent. 

The violence has left surfing mostly because we live in a world of lawsuits, camera phones and social media. The state of surveillance makes it nearly impossible to do anything illegal and get away with it.

This is the tricky part, because it technically isn’t illegal to take off on a big set wave with three people in front of you when you aren’t sure you can make the drop. 

It isn’t illegal to steal someone’s wave or burn them, or paddle out to a local spot with twelve of your friends on soft tops. I don’t believe in laws, but I believe in etiquette. 

I believe in a small group of people making communal agreements. Funny enough I am an anarchist, but I don’t believe that the surf lineup is a place for chaos, even if I believe that most of the rest of the world is. 

A good analogy here is war and the way that chimpanzees fight compared to the way human beings fight. Chimpanzees mostly wage small border skirmishes, with a few killings here and a few killings here, but no recorded genocides. 

I would say a surf lineup could function in a similar way. Occasionally, when someone really fucks up and refuses to apologize or change their behavior, there will be some amount of violence. 

This violence is reserved towards people who are being dangerous for no good reason and are putting others in the lineup at risk. I always want to clarify that before the conflict raises to the level of laying hands, scrapping, etc. that there should be a conversation, and a chance given for the dangerous/disrespectful party to listen and apologize. 

When I’m surfing and someone burns me or doesn’t paddle behind me, or any of a thousand other surfing etiquette mistakes, if the person apologizes to me I will just say “It’s all good” ninety-nine percent of the time. 

The other one percent is reserved for when someone did something that could have put me in the hospital. In that one percent I don’t resort to violence, I try to have a conversation with the person. 

In case you haven’t picked up on it yet, I am a confrontational person and have come around to supporting the notion that a constant low level of confrontation is actually the life way most helpful towards preventing major confrontations. 

The problem with this is most humans are fence-sitters. At my local spot, a lefthand point near Diamond Head in Honolulu, there is a mid-fifties guy who always surfs the sunset session on an eight-and-a-half-foot board. 

He sings, talks to himself, and generally tries to act “crazy.” 

He also thinks it’s fun to get as close as he can to people then turn away at the last second while riding a wave. 

I know of two other people besides myself that have confronted him, but in all three cases we (the surfers confronting him) were the only ones in the water to say something. Everyone else at the spot constantly talks shit on him and acknowledges that he is dangerous and he even prevents lots of people from surfing the sunset session because of his outrageous behavior. 

However, when someone has been bold enough to confront him, the rest of the lineup stays quiet, not wanting to get involved. If just one or two other surfers had chimed in to tell him to leave, the problem would likely be over. 

But, humans are weak and driven by fear, fear of being seen and heard and the fear of confrontation. So…our monster stays a local at the spot, causing problems several times a week. I believe to be a surfer is to embrace that outlaw spirit, to not fear confrontation, to turn towards the uncomfortable.

As a nihilist, technically I don’t believe in anything. I think that there is no inherent meaning in the universe, which frees us up to choose to put whatever meaning we want into anything. 

As a lifelong surfer, a lifelong surf fan, and just another kook trying to surf like my heroes, I put a lot of meaning into what being a surfer is. 

I fervently believe that the spirit of the surfer is what matters. The surfer yearns for an empty lineup, or a shared one with one or two friends. 

The surfer is mostly peaceful and loving and kind, but is more than willing to throw down when needed to protect their friends or their lineup. 

The surfer isn’t a fence-sitter. The surfer doesn’t spend years confronting their fears in the ocean with hold-downs, injuries, reef scars and much more just to be afraid to tell someone that they aren’t acting right. 

I dream of a world where the surfer just fucking cares about what it means to be a surfer. 

In this world the surfer chooses their society, their lineup, their ocean, their friends and surf friends that they know in their local surf scenes over the rules and etiquette of “minding our own business” that the shitty world of eight-billion has passed down for us. 

Fuck politicians, fuck rules we didn’t create for ourselves, embrace the outlaw spirit. 

Otherwise we might just end up having Kaipo and the wall of positive noise tell us that two backside turns under the lip with the pro surfer’s butt five feet behind their legs is the pinnacle of surfing. We deserve more, and we must take it ourselves. 

World Surf League horrifies conservative fanbase, releases sexually provocative “Brazilian Storm fanny pack” ahead of 2023 season!


The World Surf League, at the very cusp of a brand new Championship Tour season, is known for many things including, but not limited to, putting Martin Potter in a booth, “Backward Fin” Beth, fixing things not broken and Oprah Winfrey. Sexual provocation, though, has never been one of them.

Never until just yesterday, that is, with the release of a “Brazilian Storm fanny pack.”

Per the “global home of surfing’s” usually staid website:

Brazilian Storm Fanny Pack
Regular price
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Rep the Brazilian Storm with this fanny pack, which has a small inside pocket, and adjustable straps.

• 100% polyester
• Fabric weight: 9.56 oz/yd² (325 g/m²), weight may vary by 5%
• Dimensions: 6.5″ (16 cm) in height, 13″ (33 cm) in width, and 2¾″ (7 cm) in diameter
• Water-resistant material
• Top zipper with 2 sliders
• Small, customizable inner pocket without zipper
• Silky lining, piped inside hems
• 1¼″ (2.54 cm) wide adjustable straps with plastic strap regulators

Please note that returns on this item are only accepted for misprinted, damaged or defective items. See the full return policy here.

Do you know what fanny means in Australia?


Buy here.