Happy VAL.

VAL surfer “confused and shocked” by explosive episode at iconic Byron Bay wave: “I was physically and verbally assaulted in the surf at the Pass by a guy with a dark green mini-mal with dark short cut hair and a moustache in black boardies!”

"He repeatedly tried to fight me by asking if I ‘wanted a go bro’ and rammed his board into mine second time creating a large dent on the bottom of my board the size of a breakfast bowl."

The VAL surfing world has been rocked after an almost-violent episode at The Pass in Byron Bay with insult added to injury when “older white men” made fun of the surfer’s plight on the Instagram account @lordsofbyronbay.

First, the post as it appeared on Facebook via the Byron Bay Community Board

The ocean is for surfing and enjoyment, not for abuse.

I was physically and verbally assaulted in the surf at the pass today around 9am by a guy with a dark green mini mal with dark short cut hair and a moustache in black boardies.

I followed surf etiquette (been surfing since I was 12) and did not hear any ‘yep!’ or other call on the wave definitely couldn’t see anyone else already on it on the inside or outside. The person who was paddling for the wave on the wave ontnhe inside gave up so I went for it. at the last minute this guys came across the front of my board from the outside to block me from a wave crushing my hand. I said ‘wtf dude’ in shock at what had just happened.

He then repeatedly tried to fight me by asking if I ‘wanted a go bro’ and rammed his board into mine second time creating a large dent on the bottom of my board the size of a breakfast bowl. I was extremely confused and in shock. I had no idea where this guy came from or why he hadn’t called the wave as is normal if you can see another in front of you. I apologised even though I really did not think I was the one that had been in the wrong but he was too busy yelling over me to fight him..

I’ve never experienced this level of aggression or violence in or out of the surf ever.. and I grew up on the beach! Usually there are grumpy remarks and some apologies but it’s water off a ducks back and people would rather enjoy surfing.
Threatening another with violence is a crime and just sad way to be human. That anyone would consider that a way to interact with a stranger in any circumstances is fucked.

If anyone has had similar experiences at the pass I’d like to here from you. I’ll be making a police report because my property was damaged (board) and I was assaulted. I would suggest anyone who is assaulted make a police report so that the police are in a better position to act on this recurring crime.

UPDATE: in 20 mins you can clearly see from the comments and thier likes that some older white men are justifying or normalising the behavior. Women and parents have been sharing their experiences and mostly condemning the behavior.

And, as presented on @lordsofbyronbay along with the hashtag #gobacktothevalley,

The event is best summarised, I think, in this exchange.

redwinelibby
What is wrong with some people on here? Majority are trolling someone sharing an experience that isn’t acceptable. Support this person- don’t take your daily frustrations out on them via judgements and poor humour.

lordsofbyronbay
@redwinelibby I think it’s because the original poster firstly dropped in… then was aggressive with his swearing at the person he dropped in on… and then played the victim in a public forum when he was the one in the wrong by his account of what happened.

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Jasper Jenks
Jasper Jenks
5 years ago

What a shit hole.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

yeah ” do you wanna a go Bro ” sounds just like you ya racist kook!

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
5 years ago

Hahaha,
you kooks + your use~age of thee word VAL!
i’m @ a beach, in Los Angeles, my truck is pointed straight North,
where the real Val’s are just over the hill.

In this click-bait article, i have to read of a dude who, now is apparently middle of age,
he ain’t now~where near what your new definition of a VAL is, ya dig?

He’s been surfin’, out ridin’ waves since age of 12,
well he might be a kook, still,
but a VAL?
nah…

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
5 years ago
Reply to  rwvbwl
Shore pound
Shore pound
5 years ago
Reply to  rwvbwl

We don’t talk like that.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  rwvbwl

Sounds like we need to crowd fund a trip to the little smoke for Longtom to get to the bottom of this. I’d like to see an animated version of the courtroom whiteboard sketch with magnetic surfboards, so I can really understand where the ‘dark short’ guy came from.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  rwvbwl

Are you ever sober?

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
5 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

^^^
hahaha,
hiya Billy boy,
i’m back, online, here, for a moment, so ah, here’s another lesson, ok, kook?
Thee term Val used to be reserved for dudes who earned it,
surf in their veinz, but whom lived far away,
not pep’z who learnt to surf aged of old,
dig?

have a watch, below, okie~dokie?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
5 years ago

Have to watch out for dotards, they are an angry bunch. Angrier these days as their whole movement goes up in flames.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

It’s important to broadcast to everyone if you feel you’ve been wronged (even if you have not been wronged and it’s your entitled perception). Always, always, always blame others.

Nego Padaratz
Nego Padaratz
5 years ago

You couldn’t fit a bunch of more entitled, narcissistic cunts in a post code if you tried. Byron is a wrap. Its no coincidence lords of bb is ran by a byron ‘local’ of two years. Says it all about the place. Fuck Byron, fuck it’s novelty point breaks and may all VALs go to hell via Byron

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  Nego Padaratz

Have you been to Noosa lately?

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  Nego Padaratz

Have you been to Denmark, WA

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

Lol precious entitled social media fwits growing up in an age of cotton wool and never having being glad wrapped to a pole. Don’t they understand surfing isn’t about surfing?

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

I’m certain that this has been a terrible misunderstooding.
The chap was merely offering him a chance to ride on his magnificent surfyboard.

He’s saying “Do you want a go?”

IE: “Would you care to swap for a moment so that you might be able partake in my superior water craft?”

Honestly. All these silly-billys getting their chakras in a twist.

I’ll bet a round of seashell therapy that if these young bucks sat down a shared a nice pot of organic decaf chamomile tisane, they’d be the best of pals, and could have a good laugh discussing the merits of vegan surfboard design.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

a “crystal circle” followed by one of those “greet the sun with your ani” sessions should fix it.

ptsdsurfer
ptsdsurfer
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Seashell therapy? Is that like, you crush them then snort them?

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  ptsdsurfer

https://naturaltherapyinfo….

Powerful, POWERFUL forces at work.

ptsdsurfer
ptsdsurfer
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Like a double concave!

janeausten
janeausten
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

“The dosage can be between 4 and 8 drops. Best to follow your intuition.”
I told the cop who picked me up for being over the limit that I was just “following my intuition”, but perhaps only in Byron bay would this fly…

Kennypowersmullet
Kennypowersmullet
5 years ago

Everything about this story reminds me of why I don’t like byron.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

wtf dude? You’re clearly an older white male. Stop justifying and normalizing this black short behavior.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

But he’s been surfing since 12…

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

Was the dark green a tint or spray? And when you say breakfast bowl…? So many holes in this story

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
5 years ago

Lords of Byron Bay? There really is no end to the modern cuntery is there.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

Water off a ducks back…proceeds to be a fuckwit on the socials.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

If it’s not on socials within 10 minutes of the event, did it even happen?

How else are you gonna turn a 2 minute situation into a 2 day pixelated imbroglio and engage the local community board?

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

The world has gone bananas.

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
5 years ago

redwinelibby really gets it, aye.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago

I once got a ding
Size of an espresso cup
By a short black man

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

what does it tell you when someone threaten you with a “Bro” call LOL!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

That you’re about to
Engage in mortal combat
With a cocksucker

janeausten
janeausten
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Eddie, you are fast
On top of your Haiku game
Keep it up, big boy!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

I’m on holidays
And my Haiku gland pumps strong
With a beer in hand

John Wayne
John Wayne
5 years ago

Can not wait for Courtney Adamo and the surfing mamas / influencers of Byron Bay to post examples of their acia bowl dings in support…….no doubt they will be the most beautiful dings we have ever seen

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Older white men?!? Women and parents?!? Who in the hell are these? This is so goddamn confusing now in our pronoun centric world. Is he talking about they and them?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

It’s really a story about ‘they’ and ‘them’. It’s up to thus to make fun of both sides now.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

These are of day of days.

Erez Beker
Erez Beker
5 years ago

Been loving the agro by the Byron bay locals, they just carry the same vibe of the black shorts and Mr Rothman they are man beasts. The old paddle in been replaced with a polite “I don’t want to listen to you” by a middle aged man pushing his son into waves. And some other figures with a mustache looking Mean… God I wish some cunt will just punch me instead…. Maybe one of the ladies at the pass will take charge. Long live the frucious local

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
5 years ago
Reply to  Erez Beker

sent the odd cunt in. cocked hat is worse than the pass these days.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

What’s the difference between a dark green mini-mal and a seafoam green midlength ?

Is it like an ‘açai bowl vs breakfast bong’ scenario ?

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Mini mal = round nose, glassed in thruster, misplaced tail pad. Pure performance, generally fucking epic. Mid lengths really do try too hard

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Hush your mouth ads… wait for the prized mid length to enter your saucy secondhand quiv


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