Country über alles.
Kelly Slater’s head, and heart, should be one place, and one place only, at this very moment. Defending his crown as the oldest living person to win the Pro Pipeline surf contest that is set to get underway on Oahu’s fabled North Shore in mere hours. The 11x World Champion, now 51-years-young, stunned sports fans everywhere when he won the event at 50. The victory kept him above the mid-season cut line and here he is again.
Focused?
Alas, maybe not for according to Page Six, Slater’s newly single ex-girlfriend Gisele Bündchen is currently partaking in a very seductive photo shoot in a “plunging Versace swimsuit.”
Wowza.
It must be noted that Bündchen, recently divorced from Tom Brady, and Slater were rumored for surf fans to want them to get back together toward the end of last year. It also must be noted that she is Brazilian as are 2023 Championship Tour favorites Gabriel Medina, Filipe Toledo, Italo Ferreira, Miguel and Sammy Pupo etc.
Did she just set a wicked thirst trap for our elder statesman to trip and fall right into?
Country über alles?
Who could have ever thought our candle lighting might have led to this?
Pure voodoo.
Sweet Jeebus Chas. Can I please have the 30 seconds of my life back it took to read this swill? I will do something positive with those 30 seconds-I promise. In fact — just to atone for scrolling this clickbait, I’m going to donate to Luke Shepardson’s Venmo account — and maybe send him some beer.
Chas this stuff is so old now. Also fix your fucking comment section up so it works.
Is there anyone she hasn’t messed around with. Tom should have DNA tests conducted on the kids, who knows who the fathers might be.
men’s wear?
stylish back door, that ride…that stance.
Kell was actually 49 when he won.
AI will solve this problem soon. When it’s your wave your watch will buzz.
Kelly told me he wasn’t feeling it…
Kelly has a partner.
You should show some respect!!!
Chinese girlfriends don’t count.
Focus on:
1.) Beak
2.) Knees
3.) Flat ass
I’d rather see the coffee birthmark
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The divorce is a sham. Giselle and Tom are protecting their wealth from the financial fallout with the FTX scandal. Brady is already named in lawsuits, along with other celebrity endorsers like Larry David. Investors are coming for their pound of flesh, and they’ll likely get it.
Everyone else: Chas, please read the room. Funny people are leaving.
Chas: Fuck everyone else. I’m from Coos Bay and own the damn room. Don’t let the candle burn you on the way out.
(DR: Shit, wasted all my free minutes on tranny porn again this month already. Wonder what Chas is up to?)
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My chat gp has analysed this story and the summary is
Crud.
whoopie!
Join the BG Fantasy league. Winner gets some wax scraped off of three different Panda surfboards.
https://ctfantasy.worldsurf…