Competitors get dusted the last time The Eddie ran in 2016, main photo, and Owens is steamrolled at Waimea by adult learner a few weeks back, inset.

New slap-in-the-face for North Shore lifeguard almost killed at Waimea Bay by adult learner after lifetime dream of competing in Eddie Aikau big wave event shattered!

Derek Rielly

By

"Crazy how if you slap a donkey for burning you, you can get arrested. But donkey can run you over and gets no punishment."

A  couple of weeks ago, shackles were sure as hell raised on the North Shore following the near-death of legendary big-wave surfer and ocean paddler Chris Owens who nearly exited this mortal coil when he was kneecapped by an adult learner at Waimea Bay.

Chris Owens, of course, ain’t no ordinary surfer or lifeguard.

In 2005, after a wild twenty-two hour haul through giant seas described as “one of the greatest feats of human endurance ever”, Owens paddled the sixty-five nautical miles between Oahu and Kauai.

Owens, who survived a one-minute hold-down at Mavericks in 2019 in surf deemed too big to run the Mavericks Invitational contest (“I went down and said hello to my friends Mark Foo and Sion Milosky”), was surfing a mid-sized day at Waimea when he was taken out by the adult learner.

Another North Shore lifeguard Joey Cadiz was unsparing in his criticism.

“Change is coming. No more entitled individuals that buy a gun and “think” they can surf Waimea. People that can barely swim, dependent on their floatation, board and luck by shoulder-hopping. Y’all DONE!!! I train for the worst possible situation and I’m READY for it! But not what I go out there for! Take a good moment to think about your abilities, training, preparation, and awareness before you paddle out next time!”

Comments ran hot.

Changes need to be made!!! Need to harden up folks!!! When you see something do something we all need to step up and do what’s right!!! No worry about what’s legal sorry if I sound savage hahah but this shit is out of control on many levels

Crazy how if you slap a donkey for burning you, you can get arrested.. but donkey can run you over, take you away from surf/ work for months.. and gets no punishment

This kook should have gotten cracks on the beach. No place for this out there.

That’s so fucked! The exact reason I didn’t surf there today. Too many kooks because it’s not bombing! But imagine it is and these kooks are out there tryina literally kill us!!!! Fuck that guy. He needs a north shore warm up head slap at the very least.

 

T

 Now, with the world’s most prestigious big-wave contest The Eddie Aikau set to run this Sunday, and with Billy Kemper and Makua Rothman already out of the event due to injuries sustained during the Backdoor Shootout, third-alternate Owens was looking like an almost certain starter.

The Eddie only runs when Waimea is a consistent twenty-to-twenty-five feet and in its almost thirty-year history has produced only nine winners, John John Florence the last surfer to claim the title in 2016. 

Miss it and it may not run again for a decade.

Thoughts, prayers, condolences etc.

 

 

 

 

 

Outgoing hero Jacinda Ardern (insert) shining upon incoming hero Darren Kiwi. Photo: JCL
Outgoing hero Jacinda Ardern (insert) shining upon incoming hero Darren Kiwi. Photo: JCL

New Zealand surfer rescues family of three from certain death, goes on to win 50+ group at National Surfing Championships thereby erasing painful sting of Jacinda Ardern resignation!

Chas Smith

By

Anti-depressive.

Your BeachGrit strays from its anti-depressive raison d’être from time to time, focusing on unseemly influencers and George Santos-esque lies, but always finds its way back toward inspiration. Toward the feel-good moments you have come to crave and require.

And you certainly are welcome.

The latest, in an almost decade long series, comes to us from New Zealand where a surfer recently saved a father and his two children from certain death via rip current.

But not just any surfer. The country’s future 50+ champion.

Slater-adjacent.

Fate found the poetically named Darren Kiwi surfing near his Arataki home when the surf started to climb and he figured he should head in for his gun. As he neared shore, he spotted a family some 30m (98ft, 1345sfln*) from the sand struggling mightily and knew, instantly.

Rip.

They were getting pounded by 2m (6ft, 27sfln) waves and he knew the situation was dire. In an exclusive interview with the New Zealand Herald, Kiwi says, “So I jumped back on my surfboard, paddled over to them and got a hold of the young girl. The father and the brother were out there as well, so managed to get a hold of them and just keep them all together actually. We managed to work together to actually get us all [to] safety. It seemed like it took forever because it was a horrendous rip. The girl was in a very distressed state and I totally understand it because the whole family had been dumped by a good-sized shore break wave, consistently followed by enough solid shore break waves. They were totally heading towards Motiti Island, that’s it. It was going to rip them right out to the back.”

But through heart, and perseverance, Kiwi navigated them all to shore, losing not one soul and etching his name in the book of heroes.

Reflecting afterward, Kiwi sighed, “It was actually one of the worst situations I’ve ever been involved in in my 35 years plus of surfing … I knew that if I wasn’t there, I knew that they would’ve been probably in a dire situation. Afterwards, they all just said a massive thank you and went their merry way.”

Well, those fates later shone upon Kiwi. A few short weeks after his benevolent act, he took out all 50+ comers at the National Surfing Championships held in pumping Piha and what could be better?

A good deed actually going unpunished.

New Zealand could very much use the great news as much-loved Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced that she would be leaving the post due burnout.

Kiwi for the top slot?

Leadership etc.?

Hope springs eternal.

*Surflines

Bilzerian (pictured) unlovable. Photo: @danbilzerian
Bilzerian (pictured) unlovable. Photo: @danbilzerian

In blistering attack on surf industry, social media influencer Dan Bilzerian declares “nobody likes surfing pictures on Instagram!”

Chas Smith

By

Depressing.

Erik Logan, Ben Gravy and a host of other personalities stretching across this surf industry woke up this morning profoundly depressed, questioning life choices and not in a good way. Sadness. A sadness bubbling from a truth spoken into the universe by a one-time extremely popular influencer.

Dan Bilzerian, who rose to wealth on the wings of a wealthy father, became famous in the early Instagram days for his curated lifestyle featuring multiple buxom companions, large guns, human growth hormones, trips on yachts, enjoying hot tub time, wake surfing and, once, almost real surfing.

Bilzerian, who was recently on Jackass alumn Steve-O’s podcast, described the time fate found him in Kauai where a friend insisted they go to an outer reef and tow. He tells the story with much humor, how the friend’s friend was shocked that he had never surfed large before, warning him that he could die, the way it felt to skip at 50 mph down the face of a beast, the joy at conquering nature afterward but then, in a shock to the aforementioned Logan, Gravy et. al., how the images of him surfing did the absolute worst on his feed.

“Nobody likes pictures of surfing,” he said.

Steve-O and his co-hosts agreed wholeheartedly. How they, also, liked to try to surf but their posts never received “likes” from fans.

A gut punch.

But do you agree? Is our favorite pastime essentially unlovable?

Discuss.

Weary of battle, perhaps, Logan eventually allowed a second version of the bombshell allegation to run unmolested.

Surf fan slams World Surf League CEO Erik “Pure Miami” Logan after tour head deleted bombshell comment that threatened to shatter organisation’s Wall of Positive Noise!

Derek Rielly

By

"I felt like a longboard world champion… cancelled!"

Mere hours after the US awoke to a court judgement that determined public figures were forbidden from silencing constituents in the landmark Miko v Jones case, a decision that has opened Kelly Slater to multiple class actions, a surf fan has accused WSL CEO Erik Logan of erasing a comment from his personal Instagram account.

The surfer, named Carlos, says he had engaged on Logan’s post detailing the CEO’s attempt to capture California’s once-in-fifty-years swell with his old Nikon D7000 writing,

“The fact that you were taking pictures of this historic swell instead of surfing it is what wrong with the current leadership of the WSL.”

 

View this post on Instagram

comment

A post shared by Erik Logan (@elo_eriklogan)

Within an hour, says Carlos, the comment was gone.

“I felt like a longboard world champion… cancel,” he told BeachGrit, referring to the unprecedented decision by the WSL to suspend three-time world champ Joel Tudor from all competition, alleging unsportsmanlike conduct, damage to surfing’s image and verbal assault.

That suspension followed a heated series of posts, interviews, with and from Tudor following a rumour, possibly started here, that the World Surf League was gonna slash cut the longboard world tour from three events to one.

Tudor was very angry and especially so after the WSL featured women’s longboarding heavily during its Pro Pipeline event.

“(They) want to run this fake shit about equality and inclusiveness,” Tudor wrote. “Don’t be a bunch of fucking phonies.”

In the case of Carlos v Logan, the story has a twist for when a second version of the bombshell comment was posted, this time with a J’Accuse…! prelude, Logan allowed it to run  unmolested.

Weary of battle?

Aware of the then still-ongoing Miko v Jones case?

A subtle mea culpa, guilty as charged and so on?

More questions etc.

As “Papa Surf” Barton Lynch continues to sprout most luxurious facial hair on planet, surf fans are left to wonder if longtime sponsor Hurley is responsible for greatest marketing stunt ever!

Chas Smith

By

Marketing 101.

Four exceedingly long years ago, the surf world was absolutely rocked when, overnight, fitness giant Nike sold its surf label Hurley to Bluestar Alliance. Founded in 1999 by surfboard shaper Bob Hurley, the eponymous brand soared to success on the wings of its fantastic design, cutting-edge materials and best-in-class team featuring everyone from John John Florence to Kolohe Andino to Julian Wilson etc.

Heady times.

But, alas, all great things come to an end (save BeachGrit), somewhere along the way Hurley was sold to Nike who, in turn, sold it to Bluestar Alliance who, in turn, canned most of the surf team and began producing fingernail clippers, inflatable pool toys and beard oil.

Not canned, strangely, was elder statesman Barton Lynch who continued to sport the iconic )( on his t-shirts and hats and, mysteriously, began sprouting the finest facial hair since Karl Marx.

The dots were not connected until just today when an eagle-eyed podcast listener emailed David Lee Scales and wondered if the whole plan, all along, was to conquer the hirsute space while using the 1988 surf champion as its champion.

If yes, it completely worked.

And I defy you to tell me that if Hurley’s beard oil left your face looking like Lynch’s you would not use.

Handsome and luxe.

Brilliant.

Scales and I, anyhow, discussed beards and other surf adjacent matters while sipping champagne. This was our 200th episode, each one more enjoyable than the last leaving this the most enjoyable of all.

Enjoy.

Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by @theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
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