World’s greatest athlete Kelly Slater dubbed a “major cooker” or conspiracy theorist as Australian Press slams the surf star for his “bizarre opinions”!

"The rest of the cookers then erupt with mirth at (Slater's) stunning wit."

One year ago the notoriously unrestrained Australian press went after surfing’s greatest ever after he teed off on COVID vaccines on an obscure Instagram account.

“For people saying listen to the doctors,” Slate wrote, “I’m positive I know more about being healthy than 99% of doctors, but I wouldn’t trust me. But most of my covid info comes directly from doctor friends, many of them in disagreement with the official ‘science’.”

He added ominously.

“I had another of many friends have horrible reaction to the vaccine just today. She thought she was dying and fears her quality of life has changed in the past few days for good. My mom also is part of those underreported stats. Other friends have literally died from it. So anyone here shaming people who are affected or concerned does nothing but feed the ego.”

Everyone laughed, press came in swinging, but after recent revelations the vaccines may not have been the miracles they were promised, heart attacks as common as catching a cold, athletes collapsing mid-game, you think the press would be a little sheepish, maybe tone down the rhetoric? 

Well. 

Earlier today, the Twitter account @KenBerhan, which shares “Oz Cooker News & Views”, a cooker is a conspiracy theorist in the Australian vernacular, ran a clip showing various “cookers” discussing “environmental lockdowns” and “smart cities.”

“Initially I assumed both [former Wimbledon champ Pat Cash and Kelly Slater] were just anti-vax, but it seems they are both much further down the rabbit hole than that, and majorly cooked!”

Pat Cash & Kelly Slater talk environmental lockdowns and ‘Smart Cities’ on Hoody’s Athletes with Voices series. Initially I assumed both were just Anti Vax, but it seems they are both much further down the rabbit hole 🕳 than that, and majorly Cooked! 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/gZzNKDu3sQ

— Ken_Behren (@KenBerhan) February 9, 2023

The Australian press gobbled it up.

This from News.com.au,

The footage begins with Cash griping about emission reduction targets, wildly claiming they were part of a wider “lockdown” conspiracy.

“The environmental lockdowns … are going to be subtle, just like everything else,” Cash begins.

“I live in London, I’m in Melbourne at the moment, but I live in London, and there’s a certain area of a suburb where you cannot drive down for emissions, and people in London will understand this, there’s an emission lockdown.

“There’s been signs for years, low emissions, all this sort of stuff. Now if you go into that area, you drive down that area and you don’t live there, you will get fined … an infringement notice, about 80 pounds so.

“It was never there, it’s there now, they’re starting to implement them bit by bit and that’s how it starts. ‘Oh, we’re looking at the environment in this area to protect the people from the pollution that’s coming out of the cars’.”

Kelly Slater then interjects, saying sarcastically: “Cause wind doesn’t blow? Is that what it is Pat?”, with the rest of the cookers then erupting with mirth at his stunning wit.

“These are the subtle things – so people, be aware of this, so when you go to your council, and they say, ‘oh we’re looking at doing the parking permissions and all this around whatever it happens to be’, be aware that this is how it starts, and it has started already,” Cash concludes.

Another participant then launches into a nonsensical tirade about “15 and 20-minute cities”, which appears to be a reference to a residential urban concept in which most daily needs and services, such as work, shopping, education, health, and leisure, should be located within an easily reachable 15-minute walk or bike ride from any point in the city, which most people would probably agree sounds ideal.

All this, says News, “comes amid a recent explosion in ‘cooker’ activity in Australia.

I ain’t one for conspiracies, although they certainly exist, the Dalai Lama working for the CIA, the same organisation’s MK-ULTRA program, the Gulf of Tonkin and so on.

And so I put to the reader,

How you feeling about cookers given recent revelations about the COVID vaccines, Pfizer, actors playing COVID victims and everything else?

An unfortunate, but innocent, episode or something more sinister?