Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise.
Our very own Jen See wrote a stirring story, yesterday, about the exhumation of Surfer Magazine’s rotting corpse and the little robot that was inserted where brains once squished. It’s an ominous tale about the future of information, storytelling, historical documentation and one that should be deeply considered while read.
Are you worried?
Well, one corner that seems safe, for now, is the craft of citizen surf journalism and let us gather at the feet of @hillmatic who has just revealed the ultimate storyline ahead of the just-around-the-corner Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach.
Remember the 2011 Tall Man v Bald Man rivalry? Owen and Kelly faced off in 3 sequential finals- Tahiti, New York, and Lowers with O-Dog clipping the first and only NY event with the largest prize purse ever at the time and Lex Luther closing out his 30s by going 2/3 against the Big Fella and winning his 11th and final world title.
What if:
Owen rights himself long enough to knock the one and only Bobby Slater out of Bells and off tour. What a tormentor’s conflict for the judges and organization to toy with. Robert K. Slater’s perennial flame snuffed by the final swing by the Scarecrow.
Which story strums the heartstrings the loudest?
Oooooooooh. Absolutely delectable. Something a machine could never conjure. But do you think World Surf League’s twin chiefs Erik Logan and Jessi Miley-Dyer recall that 2011 campaign? I certainly do. I was even in New York at the time and though I left before the Quiksilver Pro got underway, I did stay at The Standard, which was hosting, and had black and red “Quiksilver Pro” coasters and door hangers.
Very chic.
Anyhow, Logan is absolutely clueless and has a head stuffed with images of Oprah Winfrey from that year but Miley-Dyer was there, I think, and might she be tweaking the judges for a favorable outcome?
Which heartstring will get plucked?
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Saw them in New York, Boston and Sydney. All excellent concerts.
Can we get a Bobby Martinez cameo for the show down, just for prophecies sake.
Always been cynical toward pro surfing. Want to see the best in the world, yes, but rarely get that.
If you study performance, contests in good conditions are the master class.
Most photogenic sport on earth is filmed waiting for opportunities in bad conditions.
I loved the way Chas covered that era pro tour.
Specially Euro.
Intentional distance, relevance adjacent.
Funny thing is, NY got good waves if my memory serves.
The waves for that NY contest were better than 9 of the 11 contests last year.
Yeah…we had really solid surf.
Owen wright is the Rip curl surfa too not drop inn on all the locals..
Be very missed<
Stab magazine have established that the WSL can give wildcards to ex world champions and ex top five finishers. That mens that the KKK (Kelly, Kanoa and Kolohe) are all going to be awarded wildcards if necessary, and so will Steph. Ultimately there is no drama for the viewer in the mid year cut because we all know thsg the ratings at mid year don’t really matter unless you are a nobody. Elo and JMD have sucked the drama out of the entire tour! It’s quite impressive really!
you serious?
You can literally miss the cut, be awarded the wildcard and go on to win the world title!
As stupid as non elimination rounds to a tour without the luxury of time.
The WSL rulebook is more a set of suggestions and guidelines.
2011 memories ♥️
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
kelly’s 560, I presume…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
holy fuck
Bruthers be like,
Very holey
i can deal with bad pitch but not bad rhythm
rappers really get my goat…especially white chicks on dope…
Hope they both get knocked in the elimination round, Elo gets glassed at the Pub and JMD falls down the Bells Stairs in front of everyone
My dad got the shit beat out of him at the pub during bells one year.
did he have blonde hair and a goatee?
More the scientist type, but with a big mouth. Was arguing ohms law with some bikers. ICU for two weeks. Was it you? hahah
B! you got ur new extension ladder ready for the top o’ th stairs?
That’s lame AF, I hope he made a full recovery.
stuck on the stairs
One is traumatic and one is dramatic.
wild card requirements;
1. Don’t be wild.
2. be named Kelly, or Mikey/Owen
3. there are no requirements its based on fucking random sponno whims.
All us common women and men should enter a lottery for them, would probably get the cunts into profitable margins for once. Imagine the viewer numbers too.
Don’t be named Caio, own a burger joint and snap your leg on tour. (See 2.)
Does it even matter? They’re just going to give Kelly a wild card to any event he wants to attend for now until he’s dead. Rules were made to be broken. Fuck this all.