Daring rescues and grisly jetski wipeouts at Nazaré!
Ain’t nothing harder than trying to wrangle a seven-hundred pound jetski in a ten-foot shorebreak, as ski pilots were reminded at the WSL’s just completed tow-contest at Nazaré, Portugal.
The contest was won by Mark Zuckerberg’s BFF Kai Lenny, the daring multi-discipline surfer with sea-spray eyes shaped like pecans, skin the colour of buttered cocoa and lips as red as if he’d just applied a fresh coat of pomegranate lipstick, and his Brazilian tow-partner Lucas Chianca, not unattractive but no Kai Lenny, let’s face it.
Lenny, who is twenty-nine, nearly didn’t live to see his milestone thirtieth or collect his winner’s trophy, howevs, after a rescue by Chianca that almost killed them both.
And, I think it’s Pierre Rollet here, Justine Dupont’s tow partner, almost winning a hard-fought victory in the Naz shorebreak.
The joint is just rapacious.
View this post on Instagram
As Shane Dorian said a lil while back,
“The place is a logistical nightmare. We lost a couple of skis. It’s really hard to do rescues there, really really hard. It’s really super dangerous. There’s a cliff there. All that shit. Once, I caught a wave and we lost one of the skis in the shore break. I finally got back out there an hour later. I got a couple more waves and then we had to ditch another ski on the sand. It is just chaotic. The water’s really angry.”
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
That’s what you get for going right.
I walked down those steps on a giant day in 1984 with a bunch of Aussies from Cronulla.
The biggest waves Ive ever seen, before or since. Stormy and huge. Folding over in slow motion.
I remember us looking down into that cauldron below and thinking: “You lose it down there, you are in a world of hurt.”
And this was before Predator.
The whole time I was at SURFER I kept saying, “The biggest waves I’ve ever seen were at this place in Portugal.”
Nobody listened to Turtle.
And then Gmac and them proved me right.
You go right and blow it you’re in deep kimchi.
Can’t imagine what would happen to a bloke if there were no skis.
But Kai the Masochist is still young enough to shake shake shake it off.
Thirty years from now he will look at all that and shake shake shake his head.
Good: that ski allllllmost landing a wicked floater.
Bad: those fucking chop hops man… fucking hell.
Red team and green team must be extremely disappointed to not have their own specific shade. Fucken cyan blue being all cyan-y. Always with the cyan. Is that an IKEA cross promotional thing? Blood red? Illegal deforestation green?
Jumping wakes and staying on your feet is extremely easy.
Without straps it’s difficult but with straps isn’t impressive at all
It’s much more fun to eat clams and drink beer at Casa Os Santos downtown than play with jet-skis in that maelstrom. For me anyway.
What kind of clams are you referring to?
He said, “You ain’t seen nothing
‘Till you’re down on a muffin
Then you’re sure to be a-changin’ your ways”
“Can’t catch me cuz the rabbit done died.”
Well, well, Lordy my God, what do we got here?
Marty Thomas said garans ballbarens that Pipe is 100% on tomorrow
Chop hop flyaway kickouts, towing is fucking lame i hate kai
Whoever the hell jumps on the ski at the end of the Lenny/Chumbo video is a mad man. Held on to that fucker while getting slammed and comes up still on the ski.
Red Bull should give them Water Wings…
“The water is angry”
Like an old man sending back soup in a deli…
I had it on in the background and was surprised that Lucas Chumbo didn’t win. Must have missed something Kai Lenny did. The amount of chop-hops performed was weird – Justine Dupont did about 20 on each wave – wtf. And well done to Andrew Cotton, cementing his reputation as a chivalrous English gentleman by once again letting all the women finish ahead of him. As always the jetski fuckups were far and away the most entertaining moments.
Have I missed someone..something….oh yeah…F__K BEN MARCUS!
Fuck a duck
Fuck Zuck…
And you too too!
Fuck you too Jonah
Fuck you Chas!…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Nice ‘meme’
(Isn’t it borderline racist/offensive though ?)
Keep it up
Are you still pissed that Negs deleted your Ben Gravy meme (cartoon)?
No
Am pissed that he’s trying to be an editor (and not a moderator) and doing a very inconsistent job of it.
Anyway the double frame cartoon with three speech bubbles focussed on the complex and potentially fractured relationship between Kai and Chumbo after their jetski mishap, and how Gravy’s professional(?) enthusiasm could be (or most likely not) in Kai’s best interest.
It definitely wasn’t a single picture meme with a few empty words tacked on…
Fuck big wave wanking!…
Did you forget to take your Haldol today?
Yes..
On fire!
According to the WSL auto subtitles, Trump’s always had the barrel out there. So, yeah https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Lucas “Trumpo” Trianca …from Sri Lanka?
Wow, you really need to up your game. I’m deleting any meme that doesn’t sit above the standard required at BG. (the bar is very low as it is.}
That’s a pack of crap, and you know it !
Kai (with a rare stern look on his face) thinking about swapping the manly Chumbo for a dorky Ben Gravy is genuinely funny.
And as the characters are directly talking to eachother, it’s a cartoon, not a meme.
Are ya scared they’re watching you, Mr Negative ?
And ya greasing them up for something ?
Ya might as well forget about it right now, you’ve got as much chance of going for a tow with Kai (or even Gravy) as ya have at going foiling with Zuck, being invited for a one on one session at the pool with Kellayy, or having hotlaps with Lewis H.
Zero chance.
P.S.
Or are ya just following the example of your beloved Fuhrer, Jacinda ?
P.P.S.
It’s about time you put your Nazi whip away and let the punters decide what’s funny/up to standard through the voting system rather than make the decisions like a dicktator…
Your devolution into crazy town is concerning, you need a hug? Must be a few calves around you can offload your frustrations on.
Its not a calf, its a lamb. And there’s more than enough for everyone in NZ.
Pass the popcorn!
The Punters have spoken, 2 upvotes! So I think i’ll just continue as always and do what I think is best.
Two votes on a rant about a cartoon they didn’t see ?
Yeah good one, best joke of the month.
Very poor principles on your behalf.
Classic fascist commie dicktatorship style Mr Negative.
You’re meant to be a ‘moderator’, not an ‘editor’.
As the tags says, I’m just a badge boy.
Interesting though, how you think I should behave.
Ay ?
How ‘I’ think ‘you should behave’ ?
Where did I say anything about that ?
Though while you brought the subject up, surely you’re meant to behave with neutrality and only stop publication of offensive material.
A cartoon of Chumbo, Kai and Gravy talking to eachother about the days efforts was not offensive.
You just said I’m supposed to be a moderator not a editor.
Nothings been offensive. Just dull. Actually being dull is offensive so apologies I take that back.
And neutrality?!?I lol’d at that one
Now ya just being bloody ‘odd’.
You’re the moderator because you and the others have said it many times.
No doubt it’s your actual Disqus title, they have one on all these (for want of a better term) ‘discussion groups’.
Anyway, I’m off to the beach, there’s a light offshore at a little surfed reef and a large swell wrapping in.
I bid you good day…
Glad to hear you’re surfing.
And for th e record It’s not some safe space community co-opt around here and my role is definitely not playing Sweden during World War II.
How about deleting this senseless back and forth babble so everyone else doesn’t have to sift through the off topic cat fight?
I’ve learnt its best to just leave it for many reasons. I hope the 3 seconds of scrolling though it hasn’t tainted your day.
No more so than it was when I opened BG.
At least it’s not continual endless pages of American politics which is the normal ‘back and forth’ around here, and is the first time for me to bother engaging in such a way to protect artistic freedoms.
Cheers
Hope ya have a cool day (or night, depending on where you are).
Just got back from the secret cove.
Swell wasn’t large at all though, hhmmm.
Caught 3 soft as a babies bottom waist-chest high lemons (warm though, was hot in a springy), called it quits and went straight to the oyster farm (already had beers in a chilly bin).
P.S.
It’s more like Switzerland around here, cheese, watches, money and chocolate (with less money and chocolate)…