Surfers are the best!
Somebody had to say it, amirite? But of course it was Jonah Hill, our champion, the face of modern surfing. We, each of us grumpy locals here, were shocked when Carrie Bradshaw’s husband, Mr. Big, died of a heart attack, post Peloton workout, on the premier episode of new Sex and the City reboot And Just Like That…
And we mourned, sure, tears streaking cheeks, but also watched the workout bicycle’s stock plummet then wished that John James Preston was straddling a longboard, at time of demise, instead of a stationary crotch rocket.
Or standing upon a SUP.
In any case, Hill, heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne, took to Instagram, furious, demanding to know why Mrs. Preston didn’t call 911, the U.S. emergency number, instead of doing whatever she did (I haven’t watched so don’t know).
A star-studded high five followed but leave it to one of us, cutting to the quick, getting to the heart of the matte (no pun intended), prioritizing.
Surfers are the best.
But have you ever called 911, 000, 112 or whatever emergency number exists in your country?
Prank?
That’s why you are NOT the face of modern surfing.
Jerk.
What would Jonah do?
A question that should be perpetually in your consciousness.
I thought that was a Sam Kinison impersonator.
WWJD should be BG’s next sticker
Else…I’m a friend of Jonah H.
I miss sharks.
NOPE! He needs a Logan Earth Ski and a rat dog under each arm
Jonah is obviously struggling with the ying/yang of his Malibu inspired surf persona and his growing Jerry Garcia look. So I’d suggest he shave his nut sack and tattoo it with a steal your face logo and then ride his vintage Logan Earth Ski naked into Malibu so he can be among the cool kids.
Doubling down on this “story”? It’s a tough competition, but this is a real contender for the low water mark for BG.
I take it you haven’t figured out the Jonah is becoming the face of surfing and BG is on the bleeding edge of this story along with the deterioration of the alpha male as we once knew him.
Idk know what this article is about…
It’s about the BG daily visits doubling when Chas wrote Jonah Hill stories two months ago, then it dropped by half again when he stopped.
The whole site is about clicks and Whoop. You haven’t figured that out yet?
It all comes back to Jonah.
Dane you mayka no sensei
Here in T____M_____ as a citizen I call 911 any time a homeless or cuckoo person acts up – and that usually means screaming incoherently at passersby and being all threatening-like.
Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and we aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain: we don’t like homeless druggies sucking around, bothering our citizens. We don’t like their jerk-off names. We don’t like their jerk-off faces. And we don’t like their jerk-off behavior. Do I make myself clear?
There are many strange men (and women) asleep in the county jail because of 911.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
My mate smacked his head riding bmx and had a seizure then pissed himself.
The two of us observing argued over who to call 111 when he was Skitzing
My phone came out first so I won ha ha
“I’ll call 111”
“No I’ll call”
“Fuck that – you put him in recovery position”
“Fuck you whats that”
“Fuck idk it was on TV – look he’s pissing”
There’s hope yet for the Darwin theory
Calling 911 is socialist, so no.
You shouldn’t rely on the government for anything, Along with my weapon stockpile I have a homemade operating table. Home surgery isn’t that hard,at least that’s what they said on Newsmax.
Sick, can you give me ab implants. My belly aint what it used to be and I figure it will give me more boyancy for surfing
A few bars of sex wax should do the trick.
Original formula
*edit – home made weapons
Ok, Ben Jr
I wonder if Otto has called 911 about the word pedophile being in the dictionary.
I think he’d just shoot it.
Wouldn’t you?
Okay now it’s funny again.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…