"This is a motor race!"
What a thrilling end to an altogether thrilling season. Oh, I’m not writing about the Triple Crown of Surfing, which has transformed into TikTok competition, no, I’m writing about the just-wrapped F1 world championships which found culmination in Abu Dhabi.
For the less world sporty, England’s Lewis Hamilton, an avid e-foiler, Surf Ranch enthusiast and Kelly Slater’s wonderful friend was battling all season long against The Netherlands’ Max Verstappen who rides for Red Bull which also sponsors Jamie O’Brien and Kai Lenny.
Much exciting with various barbs pitched back and forth between teams but it all came down to Abu Dhabi with Hamilton leading, Verstappen appearing done for, when a crash on lap 52 of 58 brought out the safety car.
The Red Bull team was able to convince race director that lapped cars should be able to overtake the safety car, which slotted Verstappen right behind Hamilton.
Since the Flying Belgian-Dutchman was on new tires, he blew past Hamilton who was left stalled with only seven world championships under his fire suit, still four short of Slater’s all-time surfing mark.
Hamilton’s team threw a giant fit but to no avail and Verstappen stands on top, telling his crew, “It’s insane… can we do this for another 10 or 15 years together?”
Slater’s mark in the crosshairs?
More as the story develops.
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I know you guys gotta eat, but this sucks.
Lewis was hosed. Max is a punk. Lewis had a 12 second lead on lap 54 of 58 – Latifi’s accident put him behind the pace car, while Max was able to grab new rubber penalty free and then get a free pass on two competitive back markers as the race director (Massi) totally ignored the FIA rulebook. A one lap sprint on new tires is was a set wave buzzer beater – with priority – for Verstappen. Lewis didn’t stand a chance. A total blow job.
He should have some lessons with uncle Wilko.
The most exciting season in F1 history, right behind Senna vs Prost and Hunt vs Lauda.
For an archaic sport that was all too often processional, F1 is doing everything right at the moment with fierce rivalries, authentic competition and audience engagement.
The WSL should take notes.
The WSL has been scripting it for ages with shit judging mate… F1 is taking a page off the WSL with stewards this year being a joke making arbitrary calls left and right. I can’t lie and say it wasn’t fun to watch but once you take that red pill you realize its not real.
F Slater. That F1 race was entertaining.
If GOAT boy was there he’d be a roller-slater…
Really all comes down to how and who interrupts the rules.
FWIW I think Lewis was robbed
It was all time! Butter wouldn’t melt in Hamilton’s mouth, deep down he’s a fucking psychopath. He got given many a break this year.
On balance the best driver won. Hamilton made a lot of mistakes earlier this season, he attributed it to long covid, maybe. Or maybe he isn’t used to being pushed. It will be interesting how he gets on against Russell, I thought he was going to retire if he won this championship
I reckon he will retire, very noncommittal in the presser.
A lot of mistakes? The RB was a much quicker car most of the season. Hamilton was brilliant. Max is reckless.
Yes mistakes. Imola – left the track, extremely lucky to get a good result. Baku – threw away a race win. Outclassed by his woeful teammate a few times like at Monaco. Whilst Max was taken out through no fault of his own by Bottas (Was it Austria or Hungary). We could argue about silverstone. I don’t recall much brilliance from Hamilton this year, until they fitted that rocket to the back of his car in Brazil.
Something weird about that massive performance advantage all of a sudden.
Yeah, very suspicious. I’m
glad that keeping that
waste of space (Bottas) ultimately lost them the title. All the useless cunt had to do was keep within touching distance of Max during the race, or failing that – park the car on the penultimate lap in an awkward spot and Lewis would be champion. Doubt he’ll score many more points in his future. Good riddance, a massive waste of a top seat
Filtering the lapped cars through? CART did that for a few years, never F1, to my knowledge? A shamozzle of Wozzle proportions.
It was scripted
No i was not, they would have to have caused the Latifi crash and all Hamilton needed to do was put soft tyres on and he would still have won, his car the last races was way faster.
The final lap was completely scripted.
The rest just gave them a window to have a dream finish for the sponsor that’s turned into a nightmare for them.
Just like pro surfing, once you change the rules to suit the sponsors your sport loses all legit credibility.
Never once have I gotten out of a surf and gone you know what I’m cold and dripping wet with my wetsuit still on but I’ll put a beanie on because that will make me warm. Obviously doesn’t take a high IQ to drive a gokart
“…Max Verstappen who rides for Red Bull which also sponsors Jamie O’Brien and Kai Lenny.” And Adriano de Souza.
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Beef & Beer & Beanies
“Right front the starting line here Lewis already has 3 strikes against him.
“England’s Lewis Hamilton, (strike 1) an avid e-foiler, (strike 2) Surf Ranch enthusiast and (strike 3) Kelly Slater’s wonderful friend”.
Locked into the Surf Ranch mindset, the faint voice of Raimana hauntingly yelling “Go! Go! Go!” from the ski, Hamilton ended up thinking he was racing on the straight away to make the barrel, forgetting about Turn Five.
There’s a lesson to be learned here Lewis. You live nothing but that artificial wave life, you get nothing but strife.
Mercedes have lodged an appeal against the result. Fuckers just might get it overturned. F1 stewards are making the WSL judges look competent
If only Sophie Goldschmidt was in charge of F1 so she could tell us about her first car driving experience which is similar to her first surfing and skiing experience!
She should have stuck to Rugby Union
Can we also have Betty riding a F1 car with the big tires on the front and the small ones on the back?
NOW THAT IS AN ALT WORLD IDEA! OR IS IT META?
Does the act of driving loud cars in the same circle, repetitively for 3 hours, require judges?
All apeals have been denied, lawyer bills will be sent to Toto’s address.
????
I blessed the aids…