Homer whips local surfers into voting frenzy, wins fifty-two percent of vote.

Surfer described as “one of the best barrel riders Australia has ever produced” wins prized beachside mayoralty in election boilover despite no political experience!

Very good news for UFC hall-of-famer and survivor of worst wavepool accident in surfing history BJ Penn who is running for governor of Hawaii in November, 2022.

Australian surfer Chris Homer has shocked election pundits and the political class by unseating the incumbent left-wing mayor to win the mayoral race in Shellharbour, a city on the NSW South Coast with a population of 70,000 or thereabouts. 

In a 2019 story in Tracks, Homer is described as a “semi-deity” and “one of the best barrel riders Australia has ever produced, had the talent to match the very best in the world.” 

The reason Homer never left the South Coast to chase a pro tour career was, according to Tracks, “with Redsands and Razors seemingly bending to suit his style, what was the point in leaving the jewels at home to chase sponsorship and prizemoney.”

Labor mayor Marianne Saliba had been in the job for ten years before clean-skin Homer came in swinging with promises of a “fresh wave of leadership”, which included leading a campaign to stop the council from building a 200-seat function centre and fifteen cabins inside one of the last hunks of dirt on the coast that hasn’t been flattened and turned into ghettoes of  developer cubist “mansions”, joints designed to be hot in summer, cold in winter and to crumble into ruins within twenty years.

Not everyone was under Homer’s thrall, howevs. Per the ABC,

During a mayoral forum in November, candidates were given 10 minutes to pitch to voters.

It took Mr Homer just over 2 minutes to outline his plans.

On housing affordability – a key issue across regional NSW – Mr Homer said his work as a mortgage adviser offered him an insight into the obstacles preventing locals finding a home.

But despite his industry knowledge, Mr Homer offered only a vague promise to investigate the issue once elected.
He was also unable to answer multiple questions related to bread-and-butter council business including parking, hard rubbish collection and building standards.

This prompted a question from the audience, “You seem unfamiliar with local and state planning guidelines. Why are you running for mayor?”

Mr Homer confessed on multiple occasions he was not “privy to the intimate details” of council – and it remains to be seen what impact that will have on the way council functions.

But his promise of an independent council not “tethered to the will of a political party” was an attractive pitch to voters hoping for a change from Labor’s grip on the region.

Small and hardly cataclysmic matters, I’d suggest, and easily examined, digested and sorted by Homer.

The win is an encouraging sign to king of the octagon, UFC hall-of-famer, survivor of worst wavepool accident in surfing history BJ Penn who is running for governor of Hawaii in November, 2022.

Like Homer, no political experience, but a heart like a lion etc.

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James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago

I surfed against him in the 80s and if memory serves me correctly , the wonderful Terry Richardson took him under his wing . It’s possible he didn’t leave home because there are a shit load of quality beach breaks , reefs , points , islands and slabs in the local vicinity, and then , the population increased ( for better or worse ) exponentially from the 80s , which may have created employment allowing him to stay , comfortably …..

I am very happy he helped save the Farm , because it will probably save the break worth saving ……nearby .

sd
sd
4 years ago

Redsands Shallows? Hopefully the new marina breakwall doesn’t fuck it

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago
Reply to  sd

That one too …..It’s NASTY !

I was referring to a more mystical wedgey corner …..which I surfed frequently in the mid 80s , when one had to cross a tiny creek before jamming a hard right hand turn to get in there by car or alternatively paddle across the river .

I remember turning up to surf another Shallow Break in the area late 70s , not the Bic Razor , and there was not a single house in sight …..amazing

Can’t do a reo
Can’t do a reo
4 years ago

Best barrel rider…… ever ???

Surfed 1 wave the best for a decade before the young guys decided to paddle deeper.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago

As they should …. ! As long they were taking the risk , not laying down on the job , but standing up ?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
4 years ago

Oh fucken hell Derek, you just had to write an article that mentions the “P” word and now the yanks are all twisting off about Biden and Trump. Again.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago

Baby Jay Penn?

Otto
Otto
4 years ago

Republicans are no saints, but I believe America First economic policies are far better for society than these Great Reset globalist economic policies we see rolling out under Biden.

Jack Barlow
Jack Barlow
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

This is the only thing I agree with you on.

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

hahaha. quality dumb cunt. one of the best i’ve seen.

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago

It’s amazing to me how many best barrel riders there are in the world of best barrel riders in the world.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
4 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

How many of those are also one of the best aerialists?

frank
frank
4 years ago

Yes but how many are also one of the best at tying the little stringy onto the leash loop, eh? 1 in a million I reckon!

ptsdsurfer
ptsdsurfer
4 years ago

There’s no mention of whores, nor cocaine. So he doesn’t seem to be very trustworthy, neither that legendary of a surfer.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  ptsdsurfer

Politicians and Wall Streeters support the cocaine and call girl trade(whore is too broad and covers many professionals) so what is wrong with that?

Jrilla
Jrilla
4 years ago

I hope all his speeches are in dactylic hexameter. Wehhheeeey!!! (I’ll show myself the door)

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago
Reply to  Jrilla

Could he be worse than any of the current Pterodactylus in office .
A Hex on them all , and a meter cubed of dung on their heads .
Just joking , politicians , like the BG sister hood , are human and nothing human is alien to them …..

turts
turts
4 years ago

No experience and not privy to the inner workings

The residents are going eat this cunt alive

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
4 years ago

Oh yay, another politician. They’re the best!

astro
astro
4 years ago

Hmmm, well surfing is littered with “great surfer” but is actually a dumb fuck.

@surfads
@surfads
4 years ago

I thought Homer was Cenny Coast but maybe I’m getting my Zones mixed up.

Mochillupo
Mochillupo
4 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Shellharbour bloke. But tbh he only surfed ***** good in the 80’s.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
4 years ago

So what was the reason Homer didn’t chase the tour?

Otto
Otto
4 years ago

I couldn’t tell whether or not Derek was purposefully messing with us.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

DOH !

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Lol

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

DUFF !

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago

He was too deep evidently…

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago

Ah, nuts, cut and paste the wrong bit. My c button is stuck. And who proofreads?

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
4 years ago

More importantly, have you been watching Fauda on Netflix? Great show!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago

Fauda ? Please give more details Jimmy
I’ve been enjoying SEX EDUCATION , just to see if they are getting it right ….. so far so good .

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
4 years ago

It’s an Israeli tv show about counter terror operatives working in the West Bank. It is an incredible show. I suspect Nick Dee might have some issues with it though

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago

I was there back packing in 91 ……
Israeli girls with machine guns , playing bouncers at the Post Office and a stay at a Palestinian Pension at the 9th stage of the cross …… come to mind

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago

I ate it alive when it came out. My fav people! Brave Jews!

Otto
Otto
4 years ago

I wouldn’t be too concerned about a lack of experience in politics. Hell, Joe Biden has been in politics for 50 years and still has no fucking idea what he is doing.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Occy for president

Otto
Otto
4 years ago

Well, if Biden drives our economy any more down under that might just be where we end up.

Working Class Hero
Working Class Hero
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

If you’re going off of inflation, yes, then things are not looking great, but current employment numbers would suggest the opposite of an economy in the shitter. Ultimately it will take a shit, but It’s a culmination of things Otto, not just one man. You should know that cause you’ve already Been There! That thinking is par for the course here in the States though. It really keeps the ball moving forward🤦🏼‍♂️

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago

Hero you make solid points BUT the current US economic dynamics are against the employed working class hero due to the brutal inflation. So we are left with many underemployed(this dynamic is brutally real, see credit card debt numbers) as we come out of the covid driven employment dynamics. And while all are hit with the Biden’s inflationary machinations we are left to ask how and why? Now it is unfair to pin any of this on Biden as he has no clue where he is and should be in a memory care facility not in the White House. BUT we can pin it directly and without doubt on his administration’s unprecedented actions and non-actions. Tough times ahead!

Otto
Otto
4 years ago

Current employment numbers? Really? It would be far better by now if Dems had not extended Federal unemployment increase. Further, the unconstitutional vax mandate on private employers is causing a Great Resignation. Don’t know where you live but here in CA the “Now Hiring” signs are fricking everywhere.
It is a culmination of things. All horrible Dem policies. Gutted our energy independence. We now import oil from Russia, and are at the mercy of OPEC. Great job Joe. The supply chain crisis stems from Dem policies. Namely the horrific environmental trucking policies in CA. Pumping endless amounts of cash causing historic inflation. Completely ended pressure on China regarding trade agreements.
The fact is is Democrats have horrible economic policies. They just don’t work. But I suppose that’s the idea, expand the welfare state.

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

https://www.eia.gov/dnav/pe…

like i said….you are one of the dumbest cunt… 🙂

Otto
Otto
4 years ago

Hey, look at that!!
Exports are down, and imports from Russia are up.
https://www.eia.gov/dnav/pe…

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

driving around in a 10mile to the gallon car….like a fuckin moron. keep exporting that which you rely on others to provide….sounds dumb, ay?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
4 years ago

Occy , in my book , is an affable fellow , and I must apologize for continually putting my head so near his fins as he flew by , literally , god like , on the Red and White Huzza Wuzza that Herbie ( RIP) shaped for him at G&S at Taren Point , during our early teenage years.

More importantly ….He has been an absolute Einsteinium Genius in the water for over 45 years , who should never be put in charge of anything !

bob
bob
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Yawn, well the last orange idiot didn’t do any better.

Otto
Otto
4 years ago
Reply to  bob

You’re right, Obama sucked too.

Jack Barlow
Jack Barlow
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Only the shrewdest of politicians become president of the USA. If you mean actually running a government than I think you will find that he is not too involved in that

Otto
Otto
4 years ago
Reply to  Jack Barlow

It’s been quite the flurry of Executive Orders.
And I agree that unelected bureaucrats do much of the running, but he’s chosen these folks to do his bidding, even if it is more Obama’s bidding than Joe’s since he has little mental acuity to speak of.


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