Tea leaves.

Days ago, it was revealed here that Mr. Pipeline may have been at the center of the scandal currently rocking Hollywood. Oh, all financial institutions may be imminently collapsing, World War III is quickly heating up but headlines have only had room for Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix and their exploded relationship.

Both stars of the Bravo reality program Vanderpump Rules, the two had been dating for nine-ish years before Madix found naughty FaceTime videos on Sandoval’s phone featuring another Vanderpump Rules castmate, Raquel Leviss, and all hell broke loose.

While Sandoval, who I think fronts a cover band named Tom Sandoval and the Most Extras, apologized via Instagram, he and Leviss continued to wear the Lightning Bolt surfboard logo as symbols to each other.

Well, new information has come to light that the man responsible for “Scandoval” has long worried about a potential obsession with surfing.

Per a just-uncovered five-year-old Bravo interview, Tom declares, “I just know that if I started planning a wedding (to Madix), it would consume my whole life for like 2 years. I’d want like the ‘November Rain’ situation,” he said. “I’d want my train to be just as long as Ariana’s, so it’s almost like I’d rather not even bother. It’s like, I love snowboarding and people are like, ‘You should try surfing.’ And I’m like, ‘I could see myself getting too obsessed with it, so I’m not going to start.”

Boom.

Now, I see your eyes rolling. The thought “what does this have to do with anything” flitting across your lobes. But you should be thanking me. This “Scandoval” is, truly, the only thing being covered in the world right now and I have both made you aware of it and taught you about its reason, the main characters etc.

You can thank me when you head to the bank tomorrow, find zero dollars in there and are forced to strike up a conversation with the manager who will undoubtedly ask, “Team Sandoval or Team Ariana?”

You’re welcome.

Though while you’re here. Cover bands. Yay or nay?

Unchill.

Nothing but nothing causes aggravation, furious rage like parking enforcement. A mild mannered friend of mine, not prone to outburst, once threw packets of butter at a meter maid as she ticketed a car. But you have felt the same impulse, certainly, when coming back from a satisfying surf only to find your time expired and an expensive slap tucked underneath your windshield wiper.

Arghhhh.

Well, South Bay surfers exploded in bitterness, days ago, when Hermosa Beach City Council proposed moving parking meter enforcement from 10 am, where it sits now, down to 8 am.

You will likely recognize “Hermosa Beach” as next door to World Surf League Chief of Executives Erik Logan’s Manhattan Beach.

According to the Easy Reader, Mayor Raymond Jackson spoke in favor of the earlier enforcement, declaring, “Visitors who come early to our city to jog on The Strand, walk their dogs, and play volleyball should be paying.”

Councilmember Rob Saeman concurred with the mayor.

Dean Francois and Mike Detoy, also councilmembers, opposed the measure, citing the 10 am window as a good time for drunkards from the night before to find their cars.

The two against two gridlock meant the motion neither passed nor failed.

But.

One councilmember was not present for the vote and will swing the deciding hammer at next week’s gathering. One Jason Massey, who just so happens to be a surfer.

Do you imagine the 10 am time will remain safe or do you think that the powerful 8 am lobby will get into Massey’s ear and/or pocket, twisting the outcome?

Currently more questions than answers.

In other Hermosa Beach news, Mayor Jackson informed the local Little League team could no longer use the city’s insignia.

Sounds like a real buzz kill.

She's "the bad guy."

Yesterday, leading pop star Taylor Swift launched a mega tour to promote her new album Midnights and also others. The “Eras Show,” which launched in Rick Kane’s backyard, was dubbed a phenomenal success by the international press. Variety penned, “The three-hour, 44-song epic left them wanting more.” The Atlantic crooned, “Breaking: Taylor Swift is not simply a voice in our ears or an abstract concept to argue over at parties, but a flesh-and-blood being with a taste for sparkling pajamas and the stamina of a ram. All concerts are conjurings, turning the audience’s idea of a performer into a real thing, but last night’s kickoff of Taylor Swift’s Eras tour in Glendale, Arizona, heightened the amazement with Houdini-escapes-handcuffs physicality. After years of having their inner lives shaped by Swift’s highly mediated virtual output, 63,000 individuals can now attest to the vibrancy of Taylor Swift the person. Somehow, seeing her up close made her seem more superhuman.”

One person, though, was not pleased, no not pleased at all, and likely stomping about his Manhattan Beach digs, arms crossed, muttering words like “darn” and “flick.”

Yes, the World Surf League Chief of Executives Erik Logan has been on a wild ride, of late, attending hipster festivals to pat himself and his Chief of Sport on the back in front of a coffee urn audience, simple jacking crowd estimates from the recently wrapped MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal.

THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.

All perfect, or, rather, almost perfect.

For the aforementioned Swift, momentum actually real, is his arch nemesis and everyone knows how much it stinker-doodles to have an arch nemesis soar.

But don’t you recall four years ago when the then World Surf League President of Content, Media, Studios (since shuttered) adult male Erik Logan lashed out at the twenty-something-year-old girl and calling her a “bully.”

The row was over music rights, or some such. Swift’s music catalog had been sold to one Scooter Braun whom she, apparently, did not like and let it be known.

Logan was quick to pounce on the frail blonde, declaring publicly, “For someone who draws such power from being the ‘voice’ and against all the things you talk about, I’m watching you violate what you allegedly stand for. You’re the real bully.”

Ouch?

So how, do you think, is this powerful man on the rise plotting his revenge on “the bad guy?”

More questions than answers.