Surf Ranch.
Surf Ranch.

Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch under dire threat as apocalyptic flooding predicted for Lemoore, California ahead of the Surf Ranch Pro!

The tub runneth over.

Only a handful of the world’s finest surfers remain, currently, in Western Australia twiddling thumbs and anticipating the final day of the Margaret River Pro. Yes, that window is nearly shut with Filipe Toledo, Barron Mamiya, Gabriel Medina and Griffin Colapinto waiting to see which amongst them will be crowned a king. Carissa Moore, Caroline Marks, Tyler Wright and Bronte Macaulay waiting to see which amongst them will be crowned a queen.

The rest of the championship tour, those who did not get chopped and/or did get chopped but also received a bonus wildcard from the World Surf League, are likely home packing their bags for the upcoming Surf Ranch Pro which doesn’t kick off until the end of May but the excitement is impossible to contain.

Oh, who am I kidding. Everyone hates that event. The surfers hate it, the fans hate it and, apparently, nature hates it too for Lemoore, Surf Ranch’s home, is predicted to be underwater by the time the World Surf League rolls into town.

Yes, a historically wet winter has left California’s lakes full, its rivers running over and its mountains covered in snow. As the weather warms, that snow will melt and flood the Central Valley.

Per the Associate Press:

Water managers are concerned that the spring snowmelt in the Sierra Nevada will be so massive that the north fork of the Kings River won’t be able to contain it and carry it toward the Pacific Ocean. Much of the water also is being channeled into the river’s south fork, which winds through the area near the small city of Lemoore to fill a vast basin.

Residents are packing trailers and ready to flee, farmers worried as the long dormant Lake Tulare has reemerged.

Governor Gavin Newsom is so stressed that not even the Liberty Farms pekin duck pressé with buttered popcorn grits, sunny side up quail egg, crispy cipollini onion and pimentón jus from The French Laundry can cheer him up.

But how do you think nervous locals will feel when Erik Logan, Jessi Miley-Dyer and gang show up all giggly and goofy?

Moreover, what will the threat of disaster do to already slashed ticket prices?

THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.

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Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
3 years ago

Surfline forecast says overhead and onshore

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

that is endangering our very existence…says some scientific circles that are becoming highly influential…paddle to the horizon before the kooks run us over…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

poison ivy is a climax plant; meaning if left unchecked it would outgrow and overtake all others. makes me want to start scratching for the horizon. similar to calerpa toxifolia (released from an aquarium in Monaco by a Jacques Coustodian) and at one time was expected to engulf the entire Med Sea. again, start scratchin!

https://tonytomeo.files.wor…

Crazy Lary
Crazy Lary
3 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

If u nible on the new green leaves of poison oak in spring it helps build an immunity so u don’t get it too bad. But it might make your butt itch after digestion. Like hot peppers. I eat hot peppers so I never know for shore.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Crazy Lary

u & me are botanical herbologists. but tabasco sauce is about as far as i can go. seen Hot Ones on AXS tv? sweaty balls on SNL?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

tumbleweeds and springtime flowers; preferably poppies…

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
3 years ago

The phantom returns!?

Fig Jam
Fig Jam
3 years ago

IF are the middle LETTERS in LIFE

mike m
mike m
3 years ago

Gosh, hopefully the facility next to the Surf Ranch, that is used to slaughter, butcher, and process cows (kosher, of course) doesn’t flood over into the surfing pool…..that would be awkward.

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
3 years ago

No momentum more powerful than that of a rushing water, right?

Barrelled
Barrelled
3 years ago

And little plants that make you trip grow out of it. Circle of life!

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

My favorite food!

channelbottom
channelbottom
3 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Fungi are closer genetically to animals, than plants.
Just sayin’.

xx

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

Reminds me of the great flood of 1862, when the floods formed a lake over 300 miles long, averaging 20 miles wide, at a depth of up to 30 feet.
There’s always hope…

Meanwhile, over in WA, practice continues
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
John Florence caught on camera from atop the Nullarbor FTL

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Siick Hair-spray! soo are you saying they didn’t have ant Tall Fuckin Ladders in 1862?

Barrelled
Barrelled
3 years ago

Cowshit

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
3 years ago

Struggling to think of a more WSL scenario than getting flooded out of an inland surf contest is a historically very dry location.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
3 years ago

Tumbleweeds

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
3 years ago

I’m worrried Filipe won’t show up in El Salvador if the waves are bigger than the typcial Sept 2-3s at Trestles

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
3 years ago

Japanese Knotweed

justiceminister
justiceminister
3 years ago

I suppose where floods are prevalent than sharks are sure to follow. Abandon ship.

Com Turren
Com Turren
3 years ago

This is what happens when rural communities put up signs cursing Gavin Newsom as a no-good communist for not giving them enough water—the universe delivers

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
3 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

Have some water, asshole!

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago
Reply to  Black Rubber

Enema?

Barrelled
Barrelled
3 years ago

Should be another epic fail by the wozzle.

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
3 years ago

“But how do you think nervous locals will feel when Erik Logan, Jessi Miley-Dyer and gang show up all giggly and goofy?”

JMD may be mistaken for an escaped pig, and have to flee for her life. ELo will “entertain” truckers in the local truckstop restroom (either individually or in groups), much to their -and his- delight.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

Bexy gave out the secret code word: BEACHGRIT10. If it gets too rough I suppose there’s an “exit” word. I wouldn’t know. Bex?

bruddah
bruddah
3 years ago

We need a daily Beach Grit WSL Momentum Report, a la finance cable channels, where we check in with Chas and he looks at the papers on his desk and advises viewers on the current status of WSL’s “Momentum Level”. Whether it’s still at the REAL level. Or has been downgraded to QUESTIONABLE. Maybe dips to DOUBTFUL after Lemoore? Or if (actually, when) reality sets in, it goes down to NON-EXISTENT. Perhaps it even trends into the NEGATIVE range???

astro
astro
3 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

Good call!
Momentum level good.
Okie Claim Ranking sucks balls.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

Chappelle: “Keepin it real!”


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