"The Most Trusted Name in News."
Tucker Carlson? Are you serious? Tucker Carlson? Well, son of a bitch. And Chris Cote co-hosted his weekly action sport podcast Monday M.A.S.S. just yesterday alongside famous professional snowboarder and shark enthusiast Todd Richards. It was spinning along fluidly as it always does, a testament to the professionalism of both men who each call live action sport for money, until Chris dropped a bombshell.
“And I realized, you’re gonna like this, BeachGrit is Fox News of surf media. Think about it, right. They talk to their base. They fire up their base. Chas is kind of like the Tucker Carlson of surf media. They’ve got their Bill O’Riellys and their made-up name people. People on their message board and it’s vicious. But it’s a lot of fun and it’s a privilege and an honor to give BeachGrit so much to talk about.”
Tucker Carlson? I’m Tucker Carlson? His face is very round whilst mine is long and thin and his hair looks lame unlike mine which continues to get better with age. He wears outlet mall suits, for sure, but… hell, I should just accept the compliment as New York Magazine just declared Tucker Carlson the “Most Important Pundit in America.”
Still.
I suppose I fancied myself a pre-2018 Megyn Kelly. Razor-tongue’d, quick-witted, sexy, blonde, fantastic.
But let’s roll with the Fox News analogy, for a moment longer, as it makes sense because BeachGrit is by far the biggest little surf website on earth (just wait until next month’s numbers) and you are very much implicated as Chris pointed directly to our “Bill O’Riellys” and our “made-up name people” on our “message board.”
So quickly, is Derek Bill O’Rielly seeing they share a similar last name*? Scandal plagued, maybe a little too libertine but groundbreaking-ly popular? Or… who is Derek? Who is Longtom? Greta Van Susteren?
Jen See? Can I get an amen for Geraldo Rivera?
Oh I see your frown, Chazz Michael Michaels. I see that furrowed brow so who are you? Very much implicated in this whole enterprise, by the way.
More importantly, who is Negatron? Just kidding. We all know Negatron is Roger Ailes.
But truly most importantly, who are you**?
*Having directed Lisa Andersen’s biographical documentary I have experienced, secondhand, the absolute horror of having a common last name spelled differently than its accepted varietal. Lisa Anderson? No. Andersen. Likewise, Derek O’Reilly? No. Derek oh! Rielly.
**Including but not limited to: Smurfaholic, Black Rubber, Shore Pound, Phat-wan kerr, Hippy, Party Pete, sun bear, Robert AHearn, astro, OttoBeenThere, ScottSanDiego, Mads Naeraa, channelbottom, surfads, VONR, Superworm, Trogan Fan, Derek Hynd’s Missing Fins, Nick Carroll, ricmatic, c415north, Ck T, Wigs, Lemoore GOAT Rodeo, Huli Opu, Dogsnuts, Bex, Tired Old Guy, mine.mine.mine, Mike Hunt, Alec Eiffel, Poop Stance, Miki Dora’s bastard son, SoCalGary, Lemon Next to the Pie, Paul Taublieb, Toin coss, Shampoo Poo, Pyzel’s Ghost, Shroom, Audit in Progress, bruddah, Beefnbeer, Tim Nelsen, Antipodes, MaxNeoprene, ACTIVE SHOOTER… and let’s just end this at ACTIVE SHOOTER.
Hey hey, I made all the way to the end of the comments. Its like watching your favourite porno 10x before getting to the climax!!!
I hope that your dad is ok. im sorry that your going thru that. I wasnt trolling, I get defensive of people with aspergers because it hits close to home. I wish you peace
Chas… I sent a message to David Lee Scales right after listening to Cote and Todd Richards last week with the suggestion that it’s time for a Chas-Chris summit/debate on The Grit… let’s get it on (not like a yellow-beanie hay,maker type of let’s get it on, just a good debate about the obvious differences you guys have)… what do you think?
yes, come to the pier and tell them you are looking for me
I’m not real familiar with Gawker, but I think it’s probably like TMZ, which is what I think Beachgrit is like. And that’s not a insult. That stuff can be funny.
But I think Chaz is like the Perez Hilton of surf.
I think “Phat-wan-ker” and “Dogsnuts” have the best names.
Really sorry to hear that Scott. My thoughts are with you and your Dad and Family brother.
Good lord ScottSanDiego, why are you so damn worked up about climate change? If you don’t believe human activity is affecting the climate, that’s your right to believe so, but going on and on about how you’re a scientist and about how you think climate change people are idiots . . . it just makes you seem a bit off your rocker. It’s obvious you’re not a scientist who’s dedicated your life to studying these things, so why not leave it to the experts? Politicians are idiots, we all know that. I just dont understand how any with a brain thinks they’re opinion is more accurate than a scientist who has dedicated a lifetime of study to one area.
Proposal: You two can meet at “Kitchens”; the perfect place for a brawl. No guns or weapons (Otto seems to be from Cali, and i know they like their guns). I’ll referee. We’ll make sure both of you have mouthpieces and light gloves, so no teeth go missing. Three five minute rounds; TKO or submission wins. If there is no stoppage, then the fight goes to the scorecards, which in this situation would be the BG commentors.
Bare knuckles preferred
working my way towards Europe but will be back in Hawaii by end of November. name the place and time and you can show me how bad ass you are
Stop by in CA on your way back to Hawaii. We’ll meet then. Agreed?
As above.
Keep this sort of keyboard warrior shit off here.
Exchange names and phone numbers here then you can both sort it out in your own time and space.
its all sorted, im done responding to his threats. no worries.
American surf mags were so weak in every comparison to ASL.
You should feel sorry for her because of her mental illness caused by her parents, mainly.
That’s a fair argument. Obviously current regulations in the area. allow it. If they wanted to put one within a half hour drive of your house would you show up at city council meetings to try and stop it?
best of luck
No good solutions at this point. Triage is here.
“Cult of world doom” is very Fox News. The fucking Pentagon calls global warning the biggest threat to the world.
do know anything about the Holocene and how it allowed Humans to switch from being hunter gatheres to developing civilizations?
if not, you should look into and you will understand how climate change can be doom or bloom.
I’ll get right on that.
And? Pentagon full of Obama hold over bureaucrats who’ve NEVER seen action and are in fact worthless paper pushers. So yeah, those are fully on board with the climate scam.
Bless your heart.
You should remove the “Aloha” from your screen name bc it’s obvious you dont understand it.
maybe you should do some research into the people you bash.
she wouldnt talk or leave her room until her parents helped her fight the power.
you have been manipulated by the right wing.
Really aren’t the WSL and their employees Fox News? They’re the ones pushing an agenda, lying about viewership and saying shit that we all know is patently untrue. Excuse us if we balk, at a corporation, run by non-surfers attempting to turn our passion into a “soggy cartoon”.
you are confused. maybe you should take a break while you are dealing with painful family issues.
My thoughts are that the carrying capacity of this ship will probably be reached then breached, and adjustments will happen. I mean, we are living in a big experiment, basically, and screwing around with ALOT of important variables that we really dont know how they work.
Could be air, could be water, could be food sources, could be disease, could be self inflicted. etc etc. We might think/work ourselves out of the problem/s but well…humans might be an evolutionary dead end, as we (collective we) dont think to the future very well.
Human population needs to drop. IMHO