Logan (left) and icon Tom Carroll. Happier days. Photo: WSL
Logan (left) and icon Tom Carroll. Happier days. Photo: WSL

Breaking: Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan alters much-loved Instagram account to reflect hopeless new reality!

Goodbye horses.

“Life is like a box of chocolates,” the famous thinker Forrest Gump once declared, adding, “you never know what you are going to get.” Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan certainly didn’t. The Oklahoman with a million dollar smile and a magic wetsuit of armor was riding high. After slamming those who dared put themselves above “the integrity of the sport,” the big boss traveled to Brazil in order to revel in victory while living his best life.

Alas, something happened (more as the story develops), and Logan was suddenly and brutally sacked in the most terse way possible.

Simply “no longer with the company.”

Rabid surf watchers immediately swung to Logan’s much-loved Instagram account, a place where he took followers on special tours and ordered his employees to take their shirts off, in order to find clues or, at the least, comfort.

Their dreams dashed, slowly, by days upon days of silence.

Though a small devastating shift has, just moments ago, occurred.

While not posting a topless massage of Jordy Smith ahead of the J-Bay Pro, Logan quietly disappeared the phrase “CEO World Surf League” from his biography.

Before:

After:

The fact that Logan continues to live life “one wave at a time” certainly provides some comfort but what is his new “passion” and how will he remake his life around it?

If he would speak, I imagine him saying,  “I see you rise.” But, it always falls. I see you come, I see you go.

He say, “All things pass into the night.” And I say, “Oh no sir I must say you’re wrong. I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you’re wrong.”

Won’t you listen to me?

He told me, I’ve seen it all before. I’ve been there, I’ve seen my hopes and dreams.

Lying on the ground. I’ve seen the sky just begin to fall.

He say, “All things pass into the night.”

And I say, “Oh no sir, I must say you’re wrong. I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you’re wrong.”

Won’t you listen to me?

Goodbye horses I’m flying over you.

Logan’s Linkedin still, thankfully, lists him as CEO of the World Surf League.

Hope springs.

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Biden (left) and his bro. Photo: A laptop
Biden (left) and his bro. Photo: A laptop

Suspicion deepens around Hunter Biden bringing bag of cocaine to White House after photos resurface of first son surfing with Strider Wasilewski!

Only a surfer knows the feeling.

America’s Independence Day celebration is now, officially, in the books and did you have a wonderful time with family and friends? Barbecuing in the backyard, maybe, enjoying a deeply discounted Bud Light? Or did your revelry involve something a little more… leaded. Maybe hoovering lines of cocaine off a White House toilet while humming the Star Spangled Banner?

But certainly you’ve heard the news that, yesterday, the President’s residence was briefly evacuated when a bag containing a “powdery substance” was found in the West Wing.

Per America’s old foil, the BBC:

The discovery in the West Wing, which contains the Oval Office and other working areas for presidential aides and staff, led to a brief evacuation.

Secret Service agents found the suspicious powder in an area that is accessible to tour groups while doing a routine inspection.

President Joe Biden and his family were at Camp David in Maryland at the time.

A senior law enforcement official told the BBC’s US partner CBS News the substance was found in a storage facility routinely used by White House staff and guests to store mobile phones.

The White House complex was closed as a precaution around 20:45 local time (00:45 GMT) on Sunday after it was discovered.
A preliminary test later confirmed the substance was cocaine.

After many shocked gasps, the public immediately wondered who would do such a thing. Who would dare.

Suspicion immediately fell upon President Biden’s son Hunter, a recovering addict who has an established relationship with the crack varietal of cocaine. That suspicion only deepened when photos of the first son surfing in Malibu with Strider Wasilewski resurfaced.

The Daily Mail reported, two-years ago, that Biden donned a “VERY tight” wetsuit and enjoyed a Malibu session with the popular World Surf League broadcaster, straddling a large pink foamie. Wasilewski can be seen pushing the artist into a few waves, pure glee stretching across Biden’s classically handsome face.

The relationship between cocaine and surfing is well documented, as you know, plus historically significant. Could the President’s son have discovered the link and made like an ASP tour standout circa the early 2000s?

Or are you less conspiratorial in your thinking, imagining that a boardriders’ club was touring the White House and being generally sloppy.

If you had to party with either Hunter Biden or Donald Trump Jr. who would you choose?

Currently more questions than answers.

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They say the two best days of a sailor's life are when he buys a boat and when he sells it to Erik Logan. John John (pictured) flipping off Vela. Photo: JJF
They say the two best days of a sailor's life are when he buys a boat and when he sells it to Erik Logan. John John (pictured) flipping off Vela. Photo: JJF

Surf champion John John Florence lists legendary gunboat Vela née Falcor for an easy $1.3 million!

Yo ho, yo ho...

Have you ever had the dream of leaving it all behind, hopping on a 48′ catamaran and pushing off from shore in search of wild adventure? Well, guess what. The world is ending and you should just do it though not on any old 48′ catamaran but a legendary gunboat previously owned by John John Florence and Travis Rice before him.

Vela, as Florence named her, Falcor, as Travis did, is currently for sale in New Zealand for an easy $1,349,000.

Per the listing:

The embodiment of spirit and adventure, this Gunboat 48 is on the search for her next custodian!

Borne of Gunboat’s singular focus to quality and durability, “Vela” has spent most of her life travelling some of the worlds most spectacular locations with some of the worlds foremost watermen and adventurers.

Now its your turn to join the legend…..

“Vela” is currently lying in the North of New Zealand and has been a recent recipient of an extensive refit ensuring that she is 100% ready to go on her next adventure. Lightweight, robust and featuring North 3di technology flying from a Marstrom Carbon mast supported by ECsix carbon rigging, The Gunboat 48 strikes the balance between performance and comfort in a manner rarely seen on performance catamarans under 50ft.

The saloon space flows beautifully into the hulls and forward in to the forward cockpit, sail handling area which of course leaves the aft cockpit space open and free for socialising and watching the world go by.

Recently returning to her original metallic blue hull colour with black accenting provided by the forebeam, mast and trampolines, “Vela” is champing at the bit to get back to exploring!

Professionally managed and maintained, “Vela” is currently winterised with all sails serviced and stored with North Sails NZ.

The yacht was made very famous, of course, in Florence’s video series of the same name when surf fans around the world wondered if he was through with professional surfing altogether

Apparently he is here to stay, though you know who could use a lifestyle change?

You are certainly correct. Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan must be feeling a bit lost right now and how better to remake his tattered life by becoming a pirate? Sailing the high seas with a patch over one eye, cutlass between teeth, pillaging and forcing young men on foreign shores to take their shirts off.

Yo ho, yo ho.

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Happy otters, main photo, and getting wild in Santa Cruz.

Otter steals man’s $500 high-performance surf mat in wild Santa Cruz melee!

“This same one nearly got me twice last summer! Had to roll up my mat and swim in with shoved into my suit”

A surfer is five hundred bucks poorer after an otter made off with his high performance 4GF Omni surf-mat at Santa Cruz on Saturday.

In a short video filmed on the sort of device usually reserved for alien or Big Foot sightings, we see the otter, an animal famous for its territorial nature and who will fiercely defend their turf, giving hell to the surfer who is forced to give up his beloved craft.

“Dr. Dave had his 4GF Omni stolen on Saturday in Santa Cruz … by an otter. Apparently, the otter has been behaving aggressively towards surfers in the lineup, and authorities are looking to relocate the spirited fellow,” writes Surf Matters. “Dave wasn’t able to retrieve his mat. If any locals have found a stray Omni along the coastline, let us know.”

It wasn’t news to one commenter, “This same one nearly got me twice last summer! Had to roll up my mat and swim in with shoved into my suit.”

The man’s treasured surf mat is called an Omni because “it’s an omnivore…it eats up anything! Tubes, mush, offshore, onshore, high tide, low tide…it seems to thrive in any environment.”

Don’t let the otter’s insane cuteness fool ya.

It ain’t the first time a confrontation with a human has escalated into a violent showdown. Last year a pregnant otter commandeered surfer Nick Ericksen’s board, baring its teeth when Ericksen tried to retrieve it.

 

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A post shared by Chad Underhill-Meras (@cum_quat)

Not all otters are mean, howevs.

Some are imprisoned in zoos and get to place their paws through holes in their cells so they can be stroked by loving humanoids.

@cerijuice Happiness is holding hands with the otters at the Dubai Aquarium 🥰🦦@Dubai Mall @Dubai Places For licensing or usage, contact [email protected] #dubai #dubaiaquarium #animalsoftiktok #animallover #otters #ottersoftiktok #otterhands #travelbucketlist ♬ Big Girls Don’t Cry (Sped Up) – You Can Hold My Hand If You Want To, Cause I Want to Hold Yours Too – Hiko
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Patty, inset with Kelly Slater in Brazil while Head of Tours and Competition, and liked Tweets.

Surf fans reeling after top candidate for vacated CEO role at World Surf League revealed to be an American patriot!

“The best thing about a Republican woman is no penis!”

Ever since the WSL’s popular CEO and former Oprah confidante Erik Logan was mysteriously disappeared midway through the Vivo Rio Pro, there has been much speculation about his long-term replacement. 

Surfer magazine, once the bible of the sport now a “dystopian zombie site” following a takeover by a tech-powered media company”, has anointed Dave Prodan, the WSL’s Strategy and Brand Officer, the living embodiment of the WSL’s pivot away from surfing’s roots and to its generously inclusive LGBTQ+ friendly model.

The Australian surf website, Stabmag, meanwhile, has veered sharply left, choosing pro snowboarder-turned-super-agent Circe Wallace, also the wife of BeachGrit principal Charlie Smith. 

The smart money, of course has always been on Dana Point’s Pat O’Connell, the fifty-two-year-old president of Florence Marine X, the eponymous waterman-brand of two-time world champ John John Florence. 

Patty, noted for being fiercely proud of and prone to exhibiting his monstrously elongated scrotum, pivoted out of a successful pro surfing career into VP Of sports marketing job at Hurley before becoming the WSL’s Head of Tour and Competition and, two years ago, joining his old mentor Bob Hurley at FMX. 

While Head of Tours and Competition at the WSL, Patty was adored for his King Solomon-like decision making. 

In one decision so sage and so wonderful it could be registered in an updated version of the Hebrew Bible Patty  ordered one of the two injury wildcards to be split between the Australian Mikey Wright and the Italian Leonardo Fioravanti.

And we can’t forget when Pat pushed back against a rebellious Kelly Slater in Brazil in 2019. Read, “Tensions flare in Brazil as Kelly Slater challenges WSL’s Pat O’Connell during filming of epic docuseries Lost Tapes”

Who better to step into Erik Logan’s oversized boots, yes? 

An online sleuth has thrown Patty’s candidacy into doubt, however, after rummaging through his Twitter likes.

“Not entirely the WSL’s values align with those of Mr O’Connell. Just a hunch,” writes Full-On Steez IV.

The former world #11 who has wrinkles on his face like cat whiskers and who once told Surfer he wanted to be friends with everybody on tour liked what might be called, in zeitgeist-y parlance, “problematic” tweets, including one from Ted Nugent where he writes “the best thing about Republican women is…no penis.” 

Another tweet liked, “The GOP has introduced a bill that will only allow American flags to fly over US embassies. No more BLM or pride flags. DO YOU SUPPORT THIS BILL?” 

As I said, very problematic. 

So, if no Patty, then who? 

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