Goodbye horses.

“Life is like a box of chocolates,” the famous thinker Forrest Gump once declared, adding, “you never know what you are going to get.” Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan certainly didn’t. The Oklahoman with a million dollar smile and a magic wetsuit of armor was riding high. After slamming those who dared put themselves above “the integrity of the sport,” the big boss traveled to Brazil in order to revel in victory while living his best life.

Alas, something happened (more as the story develops), and Logan was suddenly and brutally sacked in the most terse way possible.

Simply “no longer with the company.”

Rabid surf watchers immediately swung to Logan’s much-loved Instagram account, a place where he took followers on special tours and ordered his employees to take their shirts off, in order to find clues or, at the least, comfort.

Their dreams dashed, slowly, by days upon days of silence.

Though a small devastating shift has, just moments ago, occurred.

While not posting a topless massage of Jordy Smith ahead of the J-Bay Pro, Logan quietly disappeared the phrase “CEO World Surf League” from his biography.

Before:

After:

The fact that Logan continues to live life “one wave at a time” certainly provides some comfort but what is his new “passion” and how will he remake his life around it?

If he would speak, I imagine him saying,  “I see you rise.” But, it always falls. I see you come, I see you go.

He say, “All things pass into the night.” And I say, “Oh no sir I must say you’re wrong. I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you’re wrong.”

Won’t you listen to me?

He told me, I’ve seen it all before. I’ve been there, I’ve seen my hopes and dreams.

Lying on the ground. I’ve seen the sky just begin to fall.

He say, “All things pass into the night.”

And I say, “Oh no sir, I must say you’re wrong. I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you’re wrong.”

Won’t you listen to me?

Goodbye horses I’m flying over you.

Logan’s Linkedin still, thankfully, lists him as CEO of the World Surf League.

Hope springs.

Only a surfer knows the feeling.

America’s Independence Day celebration is now, officially, in the books and did you have a wonderful time with family and friends? Barbecuing in the backyard, maybe, enjoying a deeply discounted Bud Light? Or did your revelry involve something a little more… leaded. Maybe hoovering lines of cocaine off a White House toilet while humming the Star Spangled Banner?

But certainly you’ve heard the news that, yesterday, the President’s residence was briefly evacuated when a bag containing a “powdery substance” was found in the West Wing.

Per America’s old foil, the BBC:

The discovery in the West Wing, which contains the Oval Office and other working areas for presidential aides and staff, led to a brief evacuation.

Secret Service agents found the suspicious powder in an area that is accessible to tour groups while doing a routine inspection.

President Joe Biden and his family were at Camp David in Maryland at the time.

A senior law enforcement official told the BBC’s US partner CBS News the substance was found in a storage facility routinely used by White House staff and guests to store mobile phones.

The White House complex was closed as a precaution around 20:45 local time (00:45 GMT) on Sunday after it was discovered.
A preliminary test later confirmed the substance was cocaine.

After many shocked gasps, the public immediately wondered who would do such a thing. Who would dare.

Suspicion immediately fell upon President Biden’s son Hunter, a recovering addict who has an established relationship with the crack varietal of cocaine. That suspicion only deepened when photos of the first son surfing in Malibu with Strider Wasilewski resurfaced.

The Daily Mail reported, two-years ago, that Biden donned a “VERY tight” wetsuit and enjoyed a Malibu session with the popular World Surf League broadcaster, straddling a large pink foamie. Wasilewski can be seen pushing the artist into a few waves, pure glee stretching across Biden’s classically handsome face.

The relationship between cocaine and surfing is well documented, as you know, plus historically significant. Could the President’s son have discovered the link and made like an ASP tour standout circa the early 2000s?

Or are you less conspiratorial in your thinking, imagining that a boardriders’ club was touring the White House and being generally sloppy.

If you had to party with either Hunter Biden or Donald Trump Jr. who would you choose?

Currently more questions than answers.