“The best thing about a Republican woman is no penis!”
Ever since the WSL’s popular CEO and former Oprah confidante Erik Logan was mysteriously disappeared midway through the Vivo Rio Pro, there has been much speculation about his long-term replacement.
Surfer magazine, once the bible of the sport now a “dystopian zombie site” following a takeover by a tech-powered media company”, has anointed Dave Prodan, the WSL’s Strategy and Brand Officer, the living embodiment of the WSL’s pivot away from surfing’s roots and to its generously inclusive LGBTQ+ friendly model.
The Australian surf website, Stabmag, meanwhile, has veered sharply left, choosing pro snowboarder-turned-super-agent Circe Wallace, also the wife of BeachGrit principal Charlie Smith.
The smart money, of course has always been on Dana Point’s Pat O’Connell, the fifty-two-year-old president of Florence Marine X, the eponymous waterman-brand of two-time world champ John John Florence.
Patty, noted for being fiercely proud of and prone to exhibiting his monstrously elongated scrotum, pivoted out of a successful pro surfing career into VP Of sports marketing job at Hurley before becoming the WSL’s Head of Tour and Competition and, two years ago, joining his old mentor Bob Hurley at FMX.
While Head of Tours and Competition at the WSL, Patty was adored for his King Solomon-like decision making.
In one decision so sage and so wonderful it could be registered in an updated version of the Hebrew Bible Patty ordered one of the two injury wildcards to be split between the Australian Mikey Wright and the Italian Leonardo Fioravanti.
And we can’t forget when Pat pushed back against a rebellious Kelly Slater in Brazil in 2019. Read, “Tensions flare in Brazil as Kelly Slater challenges WSL’s Pat O’Connell during filming of epic docuseries Lost Tapes”
Who better to step into Erik Logan’s oversized boots, yes?
An online sleuth has thrown Patty’s candidacy into doubt, however, after rummaging through his Twitter likes.
“Not entirely the WSL’s values align with those of Mr O’Connell. Just a hunch,” writes Full-On Steez IV.
The former world #11 who has wrinkles on his face like cat whiskers and who once told Surfer he wanted to be friends with everybody on tour liked what might be called, in zeitgeist-y parlance, “problematic” tweets, including one from Ted Nugent where he writes “the best thing about Republican women is…no penis.”
Another tweet liked, “The GOP has introduced a bill that will only allow American flags to fly over US embassies. No more BLM or pride flags. DO YOU SUPPORT THIS BILL?”
As I said, very problematic.
So, if no Patty, then who?