Only a surfer knows the feeling.

America’s Independence Day celebration is now, officially, in the books and did you have a wonderful time with family and friends? Barbecuing in the backyard, maybe, enjoying a deeply discounted Bud Light? Or did your revelry involve something a little more… leaded. Maybe hoovering lines of cocaine off a White House toilet while humming the Star Spangled Banner?

But certainly you’ve heard the news that, yesterday, the President’s residence was briefly evacuated when a bag containing a “powdery substance” was found in the West Wing.

Per America’s old foil, the BBC:

The discovery in the West Wing, which contains the Oval Office and other working areas for presidential aides and staff, led to a brief evacuation.

Secret Service agents found the suspicious powder in an area that is accessible to tour groups while doing a routine inspection.

President Joe Biden and his family were at Camp David in Maryland at the time.

A senior law enforcement official told the BBC’s US partner CBS News the substance was found in a storage facility routinely used by White House staff and guests to store mobile phones.

The White House complex was closed as a precaution around 20:45 local time (00:45 GMT) on Sunday after it was discovered.
A preliminary test later confirmed the substance was cocaine.

After many shocked gasps, the public immediately wondered who would do such a thing. Who would dare.

Suspicion immediately fell upon President Biden’s son Hunter, a recovering addict who has an established relationship with the crack varietal of cocaine. That suspicion only deepened when photos of the first son surfing in Malibu with Strider Wasilewski resurfaced.

The Daily Mail reported, two-years ago, that Biden donned a “VERY tight” wetsuit and enjoyed a Malibu session with the popular World Surf League broadcaster, straddling a large pink foamie. Wasilewski can be seen pushing the artist into a few waves, pure glee stretching across Biden’s classically handsome face.

The relationship between cocaine and surfing is well documented, as you know, plus historically significant. Could the President’s son have discovered the link and made like an ASP tour standout circa the early 2000s?

Or are you less conspiratorial in your thinking, imagining that a boardriders’ club was touring the White House and being generally sloppy.

If you had to party with either Hunter Biden or Donald Trump Jr. who would you choose?

Currently more questions than answers.

Deadly waters.

We, each of us here, know that surfing is not for the faint of heart. Injuries can come in many, many forms. Shark, stingray, stray longboard, angry and recently unemployed Erik Logan, aggressive local, adult learner paddling toward shoulder, adult learner going over the falls, Brazilian, angry seal, angry seagull, surfboard fin, surfboard nose, jellyfish, aging, saltwater crocodile, people from Florida, riptide, undertow, urchin, surf school student, sexism flying fish and now we can officially include saltwater.

And let us travel to the tropical surf paradise of Costa Rica where we find the pop superstar Shakira participating in her new favorite pastime. The Waka Waka songstress is no stranger to this surfing life. She utilized to heal her broken heart when Spanish footballer Girard Pique made an indiscretion upon their married life. She often travels to Wavegardens and she even enjoys wake surfing.

But it Costa Rica, potential disaster struck. Shakira was in the water, surfing, when eyewitnesses say she “fell off her board” and came up rubbing that dastardly saltwater out of her eyes, looking distressed. Thankfully, a handsome surf instructor was nearby. He comforted her greatly and even though her pupils must have been dreadfully stinging, elicited a smile from her attractive face.

The two later walked to a waiting car where onlookers spotted possible ecchymosis on her leg.

Bruising.

Though I am only an amateur virologist, I know that bruising can be a sign of something very serious like massive internal bleeding or organ failure.

Yikes.

She should certainly proceed with much caution in the days ahead and might do well in contacting DJ Khaled who suffered his own potentially debilitating surf injury mere days ago. What did he do for rehabilitation, other than a relaxing massage, for instance?

On that note, it is time for me to head to the beach. I, too, am on a surf vacation in an exotic locale which shall remain secret.

(Cabo).

More as the story develops.