"Greed is good." Photo: Wall Street
"Greed is good." Photo: Wall Street

Damning assessment from Surfline whistleblower declares forecasting giant gripped by toxic monopolistic greed!

Prices up, services slashed.

Surfline has long been the gold standard for forecasting. What began as a humble call-in line for California, based on National Weather Service buoy data in the middle 1980s turned into a juggernaut featuring wave cameras, detailed analysis, a worldwide presence and even the odd bit of reportage as the internet grew. In 2020, the company raised $30 million from The Chernin Group and bright skies all around for hard-working wave watchers, weather decoders, Marcus Sanders.

Dedication to craft paying off.

Except.

Reports from inside the Huntington Beach-based Surfline suggest evil monopolistic greed has taken over. A whistleblower has shared with BeachGrit, which presents its ultra hard surf candy free to all, that the Indian Ocean has been abandoned, no more of the aforementioned detailed analysis, cut backs in California, Europe, Australia. Forced quittings, shredding the marketing department, slashing hours and positions with “changes to the website” coming Sept. 1

Rumors floating suggest low subscription growth in the United States plus the need to keep up with higher returns to service the multi-million dollar investment are, mostly, to blame.

“The cams keep the base happy and there is no competition. They ate it all up. So it is capitalism 101,” our brave source, who is hanging on to job by thread, shared via robotic voice. “Dominate at any cost then up prices and reduce services and beat off any start-ups with dominance and market share.”

Nasty.

Now some questions.

Will the changes in service and/or upping of fees encourage you to flee?

Are there enough Covid-era adult learners aboard who don’t care about actual forecasts but just want to look at El Porto from their Century City office?

Can former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan be hired and turn the ship around?

If BeachGrit began a surf cam service that featured periodic song and dance numbers starring principals Derek Rielly and Chas Smith with guest ditties from Jen See and JP Currie would you enjoy?

Thank you.

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Happy DJ Fisher and Chris Hemsworth enjoy horseplay in Mexico.

Pro-surfer-turned-DJ Fisher posts tribute to Chris Hemsworth for star’s 40th birthday one year after confessing to fantasies involving Thor and UFC champ Conor McGregor

“That thing, imagine slapping that f**king arse, it’s pretty good.”

Do you remember one year ago when Paul Fisher, the pro surfer turned Grammy-nominated DJ, went on a podcast hosted by his wife Chloe and her pal Ellidy Pullin and spoke frankly of his boldest sexual fantasies?

In the vein of a young Barack Obama who wrote of making “love to men daily, but in the imagination” Fisher, playing a game of Fuck, Marry, Kill, said he would “definitely have to fuck Hemsworth… That thing, imagine slapping that fucking arse, it’s pretty good.”

Fisher then nominated the mixed martial artist and former UFC champion in both the featherweight and lightweight divisions Conor McGregor as someone whom he would enjoy getting down on his knees behind and examining the machine more attentively before, cock stiff as a drainpipe and as red as a cheap piece of fishing tackle, working away like a billy goat.

Now, on the occasion of Hemsworth’s fortieth birthday, thirty-six-year-old Fisher has posted a compilation of his favourite moments with the star of Thor and Hunt including a loving pan across the actor’s famously chiselled body as he removes wax from his surfboard.

“Fucking have a go at it ladies,” says Fisher, “look at the rig on that thing!”

True!

 

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A post shared by FISHER (@followthefishtv)

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Kelly Slater reveals new horrors from “apocalyptic” Maui wildfires that have killed at least 100, “People jumped in the water but it caught on fire because of all the fuel on top from the burning boats”

“I'm in shock. It makes me wanna cry.”

Each day reveals new horrors from the Maui wildfires that have killed at least one hundred and destroyed much of Lahaina, a former royal capital of Hawaii, which includes a gorgeous old township that has had tourists swooning for two hundred years.

“Along the empty streets of Lahaina, the warped shells of vehicles sit as if frozen in time, some of them still in the middle of the road, pointed toward escapes that were cut short,” reported the New York Times. “Others stand in driveways next to houses that are now piles of ash, many still smoldering with acrid smoke.

“A few agitated myna birds chirp from their perches on palm trees that have been singed into matchsticks, the carcasses of other birds and several cats scattered below them in the streets.

“Across the town that was once home to 13,000 people, residents are slowly returning and sifting through the debris of their homes, some of them in tears, finding little to salvage.”

In an off-the-cuff airport interview with a TMZ citizen reporter, Kelly Slater described a pal riding his bike through Lahaina amid piles of dead bodies (“A lot more people have passed away than they’re talking about…the news hasn’t got a grasp on how bad it is”), another few pals who’ve lost houses, one only able to save his dog and a backpack and the horror of residents trying to escape the flames by jumping in the water only to find it ablaze “because of all the boats burning in the harbour and the fuel on top of the water.”

The Champ, who was en route to a first round loss in Tahiti after chasing the Namibian Rickshaw in West Africa, said he was “in shock…I just wanna cry.”

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Matt Biolos (center left) always right. Photo: his Instagram
Matt Biolos (center left) always right. Photo: his Instagram

“Narcissistic and impotent” surf media rightly slammed by master shaper Matt Biolos over lack of U.S. Open coverage!

Screw you, Surfline and probably Stab.

The U.S Open of Surfing, biggest surf contest in the entire world, has wrapped but you wouldn’t even know it, would you. No. And why? Why didn’t you read of the tens upon tens of thousands of fans packing Huntington’s beach? About tour-clinching wins by Maui’s Eli Hangmen and San Clemente’s Lawyer Sinbad?

Exactly.

The surf media is no longer valuable.

It’s true, and sad, but also true as highlighted, properly, by master shaper Matt Biolos.

Lost surfboards, currently crushing the Vissla CT shaper rankings, absolutely lit in to Surfline and Stab in a scintillating missive, declaring:

Still stoked from Sunday @usopenofsurf. @elihanneman @sawyerlindblad and @crosbycola with career making performances. But I’m a bit sad for them. The complete and total lack of surf media covering the event.

In the past, the events would be crawling with surf journalists, reporting on the comp, in detail.

Now?

Nothing.

Crickets.

Lemme try:

There was easily 20,000+ people on the beach. Thousands more up/down Main St. In the surf shops , restaurants, bars. Scantily clad girls, surf stoked groms and tuned-in surf fans clashed together with inland OC masses, looking for fun on a summer weekend. Big VIP tents, filled with event sponsors mingling with what’s left of surf industry stalwarts. Brand leaders, Mktg directors, Team managers, Sales Reps, Announcers, Coaches, Athlete Managers and gruff surfboard shapers. All passionate as always.

Waves and weather were great. Peaky, punchy, fun Ca warm water beach break. Not typical one turn, close-out/Huntington hopping, hoping for quick close out on the sand. Most days stayed glassy past noon. Waves were surfed top to bottom, with multiple maneuvers. Everyone there was saying the same thing, every day: “Damn, waves look so fun out there”.

But somehow, someway, we’ve managed to lose any semblance of surf media. No magazines…at all. Not one person from a Surfing website. To thier credit, @stab tossed up a 2 min story, written by someone who wasn’t even there, saying the waves were shit and then running through #ChallengerSeries qualification scenarios. Yet overlooking the events winner (Eli, ranked 4rth on CS) out of possible qualifying (Sorry Ethan).

The @wsl site has heat replays and a few click through, video highlights, but that’s like @mlb or @nfl having to do their own news!

Where’s the @espn of surfing?

The elephant in the room? @surfline, who’s global HQ has been anchored 100 yards from HB pier, for decades. Not a peep on the website, or even the IG feed. Can’t be bothered. Those parasites content to take everyones money, to check waves on “cams”. Nothing goes on Surfline without paying Surfline.

Where’s that leave us?

Can someone step-up?

I’d sure support it.

Thankfully, at the end, I suppose, there is BeachGrit.

The People’s Surf Blog.

I visited Inherent Bummer’s epic Factory by the Sea, this year and it was in Huntington while the U.S. Open was in town and reported upon it, I think.

Brett Simpson and I had a lovely conversation.

The end.

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Tributes pour in for world #2 surfer Ethan Ewing reportedly “not in good shape” as long road to recovery begins following spine-shattering wipeout in Tahiti

Sources say Ewing may have to wait three months for an operation followed by six months out of the water. 

The world number two surfer Ethan Ewing, whose run for the world title was stopped three days ago when he broke his back at Teahupoo, is reportedly “not in good shape” and may have to wait three months for an operation, followed by six months out of the water. 

The twenty-four-year-old Australian’s accident was met with aquarium-like silence by the drama-adverse World Surf League, who merely mentioned he’d been scratched from the upcoming Tahitian Pro and replaced by a local surfer. 

Now, the boy from North Stradbroke Island with the velvet smooth style who spectacularly won this year’s Bells event forty years after his late mama’s victory there, has addressed his fans via Instagram. 

“I hit the reef really hard at Teahupoo the other morning fracturing bones in my lower back. The wipeout was a huge shock and I’m super devastated that I’ve withdrawn from the Tahiti Pro but also grateful that I wasn’t more seriously hurt. So many people helped me that day but I especially want to say a massive thank you to @tahuraihenry for helping me out of the impact zone and getting me safely to the beach. Also, Vairao Firefighters for the transport, the Papeete hospital staff for their care and professionalism.” 

 

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A post shared by EE (@ethan_ewing)

A who’s who of the world’s best surfers lined up to praise the blue-eyed blond college boy looking surfer who has everything that represents paradise on earth: the style, the critical praise, the handsome body, money in the bank, worldwide popularity. 

“Love you Eth dog,” wrote Griffin Colapinto. 

Carissa Moore: “We love you Eth.” 

Mick Fanning: “Heal up strong mate. Sending lots of positive vibes.” 

Rescuer Tahurai Henry, “You’ll be back stronger than ever mate ! Wish you the best recovery and hopefully see you soon ! Thanks for the magic boards.” 

Spinal fractures aren’t a straightforward recovery, surgery, braces, physical therapy and, often, life is never quite the same after busting your back. 

Wild ol year for Ethan. Prior to his accident, he’d endured an avalanche of criticism, including a death threat, after a favourable decision at the Surf Ranch Pro.

“One day, you will compete here in Brazil and us will remember you. Get ready,” wrote André Guzelini in a DM to Ewing, and whose profile photo on Instagram showed him trussed up in some sort of military uniform suggesting he was a weapons sorta guy. “I’m saying again, here in Brazil, we will kill you. Saquarema will be your funeral.” 

Others promised to soak the sands of Saquarema a blood red.

Let’s invade Saquarema! Protest against this rigged league

When Brazil’s stage arrives, the judges get piano and judge even right, last year it was like that. Because the previous leg was El Salvador and there was that robbery there of Filipe against Griffin in the final.

Griffin is WSL darling for being American just like Ewing and Robinson for being Australian. The guys don’t accept the World Championship of another Brazilian for a financial reason and appeal to the two most important markets for surfing: USA and Australia. Justice, righteousness, right, have been relegated to the background because interest is financial. WSL is a SHAME

Ruin the sport with no shame

Bullshit!!! Medina win in water and judges win in paper….Nonsense

how far has it come. For the USA to beat the Brazilians just by stealing. Shame league!!!!!

Finals Day at Lowers, a one-day grand final that’ll run on the best day of surf between September 8 and 16 and decide the world champion, will now feature four, and not five surfers, following Ewing’s withdrawal.

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