Kelly Slater reveals new horrors from “apocalyptic” Maui wildfires that have killed at least 100, “People jumped in the water but it caught on fire because of all the fuel on top from the burning boats”

“I'm in shock. It makes me wanna cry.”

Each day reveals new horrors from the Maui wildfires that have killed at least one hundred and destroyed much of Lahaina, a former royal capital of Hawaii, which includes a gorgeous old township that has had tourists swooning for two hundred years.

“Along the empty streets of Lahaina, the warped shells of vehicles sit as if frozen in time, some of them still in the middle of the road, pointed toward escapes that were cut short,” reported the New York Times. “Others stand in driveways next to houses that are now piles of ash, many still smoldering with acrid smoke.

“A few agitated myna birds chirp from their perches on palm trees that have been singed into matchsticks, the carcasses of other birds and several cats scattered below them in the streets.

“Across the town that was once home to 13,000 people, residents are slowly returning and sifting through the debris of their homes, some of them in tears, finding little to salvage.”

In an off-the-cuff airport interview with a TMZ citizen reporter, Kelly Slater described a pal riding his bike through Lahaina amid piles of dead bodies (“A lot more people have passed away than they’re talking about…the news hasn’t got a grasp on how bad it is”), another few pals who’ve lost houses, one only able to save his dog and a backpack and the horror of residents trying to escape the flames by jumping in the water only to find it ablaze “because of all the boats burning in the harbour and the fuel on top of the water.”

The Champ, who was en route to a first round loss in Tahiti after chasing the Namibian Rickshaw in West Africa, said he was “in shock…I just wanna cry.”

Matt Biolos (center left) always right. Photo: his Instagram
Matt Biolos (center left) always right. Photo: his Instagram

“Narcissistic and impotent” surf media rightly slammed by master shaper Matt Biolos over lack of U.S. Open coverage!

Screw you, Surfline and probably Stab.

The U.S Open of Surfing, biggest surf contest in the entire world, has wrapped but you wouldn’t even know it, would you. No. And why? Why didn’t you read of the tens upon tens of thousands of fans packing Huntington’s beach? About tour-clinching wins by Maui’s Eli Hangmen and San Clemente’s Lawyer Sinbad?


The surf media is no longer valuable.

It’s true, and sad, but also true as highlighted, properly, by master shaper Matt Biolos.

Lost surfboards, currently crushing the Vissla CT shaper rankings, absolutely lit in to Surfline and Stab in a scintillating missive, declaring:

Still stoked from Sunday @usopenofsurf. @elihanneman @sawyerlindblad and @crosbycola with career making performances. But I’m a bit sad for them. The complete and total lack of surf media covering the event.

In the past, the events would be crawling with surf journalists, reporting on the comp, in detail.




Lemme try:

There was easily 20,000+ people on the beach. Thousands more up/down Main St. In the surf shops , restaurants, bars. Scantily clad girls, surf stoked groms and tuned-in surf fans clashed together with inland OC masses, looking for fun on a summer weekend. Big VIP tents, filled with event sponsors mingling with what’s left of surf industry stalwarts. Brand leaders, Mktg directors, Team managers, Sales Reps, Announcers, Coaches, Athlete Managers and gruff surfboard shapers. All passionate as always.

Waves and weather were great. Peaky, punchy, fun Ca warm water beach break. Not typical one turn, close-out/Huntington hopping, hoping for quick close out on the sand. Most days stayed glassy past noon. Waves were surfed top to bottom, with multiple maneuvers. Everyone there was saying the same thing, every day: “Damn, waves look so fun out there”.

But somehow, someway, we’ve managed to lose any semblance of surf media. No magazines…at all. Not one person from a Surfing website. To thier credit, @stab tossed up a 2 min story, written by someone who wasn’t even there, saying the waves were shit and then running through #ChallengerSeries qualification scenarios. Yet overlooking the events winner (Eli, ranked 4rth on CS) out of possible qualifying (Sorry Ethan).

The @wsl site has heat replays and a few click through, video highlights, but that’s like @mlb or @nfl having to do their own news!

Where’s the @espn of surfing?

The elephant in the room? @surfline, who’s global HQ has been anchored 100 yards from HB pier, for decades. Not a peep on the website, or even the IG feed. Can’t be bothered. Those parasites content to take everyones money, to check waves on “cams”. Nothing goes on Surfline without paying Surfline.

Where’s that leave us?

Can someone step-up?

I’d sure support it.

Thankfully, at the end, I suppose, there is BeachGrit.

The People’s Surf Blog.

I visited Inherent Bummer’s epic Factory by the Sea, this year and it was in Huntington while the U.S. Open was in town and reported upon it, I think.

Brett Simpson and I had a lovely conversation.

The end.

Tributes pour in for world #2 surfer Ethan Ewing reportedly “not in good shape” as long road to recovery begins following spine-shattering wipeout in Tahiti

Sources say Ewing may have to wait three months for an operation followed by six months out of the water. 

The world number two surfer Ethan Ewing, whose run for the world title was stopped three days ago when he broke his back at Teahupoo, is reportedly “not in good shape” and may have to wait three months for an operation, followed by six months out of the water. 

The twenty-four-year-old Australian’s accident was met with aquarium-like silence by the drama-adverse World Surf League, who merely mentioned he’d been scratched from the upcoming Tahitian Pro and replaced by a local surfer. 

Now, the boy from North Stradbroke Island with the velvet smooth style who spectacularly won this year’s Bells event forty years after his late mama’s victory there, has addressed his fans via Instagram. 

“I hit the reef really hard at Teahupoo the other morning fracturing bones in my lower back. The wipeout was a huge shock and I’m super devastated that I’ve withdrawn from the Tahiti Pro but also grateful that I wasn’t more seriously hurt. So many people helped me that day but I especially want to say a massive thank you to @tahuraihenry for helping me out of the impact zone and getting me safely to the beach. Also, Vairao Firefighters for the transport, the Papeete hospital staff for their care and professionalism.” 


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A post shared by EE (@ethan_ewing)

A who’s who of the world’s best surfers lined up to praise the blue-eyed blond college boy looking surfer who has everything that represents paradise on earth: the style, the critical praise, the handsome body, money in the bank, worldwide popularity. 

“Love you Eth dog,” wrote Griffin Colapinto. 

Carissa Moore: “We love you Eth.” 

Mick Fanning: “Heal up strong mate. Sending lots of positive vibes.” 

Rescuer Tahurai Henry, “You’ll be back stronger than ever mate ! Wish you the best recovery and hopefully see you soon ! Thanks for the magic boards.” 

Spinal fractures aren’t a straightforward recovery, surgery, braces, physical therapy and, often, life is never quite the same after busting your back. 

Wild ol year for Ethan. Prior to his accident, he’d endured an avalanche of criticism, including a death threat, after a favourable decision at the Surf Ranch Pro.

“One day, you will compete here in Brazil and us will remember you. Get ready,” wrote André Guzelini in a DM to Ewing, and whose profile photo on Instagram showed him trussed up in some sort of military uniform suggesting he was a weapons sorta guy. “I’m saying again, here in Brazil, we will kill you. Saquarema will be your funeral.” 

Others promised to soak the sands of Saquarema a blood red.

Let’s invade Saquarema! Protest against this rigged league

When Brazil’s stage arrives, the judges get piano and judge even right, last year it was like that. Because the previous leg was El Salvador and there was that robbery there of Filipe against Griffin in the final.

Griffin is WSL darling for being American just like Ewing and Robinson for being Australian. The guys don’t accept the World Championship of another Brazilian for a financial reason and appeal to the two most important markets for surfing: USA and Australia. Justice, righteousness, right, have been relegated to the background because interest is financial. WSL is a SHAME

Ruin the sport with no shame

Bullshit!!! Medina win in water and judges win in paper….Nonsense

how far has it come. For the USA to beat the Brazilians just by stealing. Shame league!!!!!

Finals Day at Lowers, a one-day grand final that’ll run on the best day of surf between September 8 and 16 and decide the world champion, will now feature four, and not five surfers, following Ewing’s withdrawal.

Daring Hawaiian surfer Kai Lenny savages government response to “absolute tragedy” in Maui as bureaucrats block urgent deliveries of life-saving medicine!

“Did you ever think you would have to illegally smuggle supplies to help people in need?”

The big-wave surfer Kai Lenny, the boy with the mild, defenceless eyes of a lamb flung down between the hyenas and the tigers of the world, has mobilised his over one-million followers after supplies of insulin to fire-ravaged Maui were blocked by government bureaucrats.

“Something big is happening right now,” said Lenny in a piece to camera. “We’re trying to get insulin flown in from Kona but our flights are being blocked by the Department of Health…a lot of people need their medical needs met…people are suffering… we have no support…”

The strikingly unique Maui native whom no woman or man can resist, spoke about government, county through state and federal, hindering efforts to get medicines on the island including stopping jetski and boat deliveries.


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A post shared by Kai Lenny (@kai_lenny)

The absurd bureaucratic red tape alongside a lack of governmental support drew sharp fire from Lenny’s followers.

My thoughts are with you guys, Biden disgusts me, he can send billions to Ukraine and to prolong that war and the Maui islanders are struggling to get supplies and be blocked by red tape.

STOP VOTING FOR AND BELIEVING IN DEMOCRATS HAWAII! Case in point. @kai_lenny puts it down perfectly here. We are supporting through individuals, F the corrupt liberal government in evil DC

Did you ever think you would have to illegally smuggle supplies to help people in need?

So sorry for all you people over there are going thru. My take on this mess up with our government, the want us to completely depend on them for support and all. Then when we need them the most they aren’t there. Biden just left our state. Couldn’t figure out why he was really there but he shows up, and says he’s doing all he can to help you. “Maybe quit running around doing stupid stuff and send aid to those who need it most right now”!!

his is BS. The Health Department is schooled in disaster preparedness and in working with The Red Cross to make sure this “red-tape” crap doesn’t happen. Get the people of Maui the medication and everything they need!

Of course, no government is immune to the power of social media and shortly after Lenny’s post, The Department of Health cleared the flight and the Coast Guard agreed not to stop the skis and boats.

“Because everyone shared and posted about it it’s been cleared… this is the power of the people,” said Lenny.

The response to the fires, which have killed at least eighty people, has echoes of George Dub Bush’s response to ravaged New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, Americans left to fend for themselves in wretched conditions despite the almost limitless resources of the world’s richest country.

It always surprises me, and it shouldn’t by now I suppose, when presidents don’t throw the kitchen sink at a disaster, launching choppers and ships and pouring money into boots and supplies on the ground. The political capital gained is immeasurable and the money spent can be found later.

Fly in, hug a few weeping mamas, visit the hozzy, promise to rebuild and so on.


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A post shared by Kai Lenny (@kai_lenny)

Smith and Scales (pictured) riding shotgun. Photo: Barbie
Smith and Scales (pictured) riding shotgun. Photo: Barbie

Barbie bomb drops on surf journalist and surf podcaster as Committee for Equity in Women’s Surfing savages pair for being “Puppets of the Manosphere!”

Scorched earth.

A surf journalist and his longtime surf podcasting partner were staggered this morning after a devastating fusillade from the Committee for Equity in Women’s Surfing. The bombs and missiles were unleashed in the wake of the 228th episode of The Grit!, a weekly show wherein Chas Smith and David Lee Scales discuss surf adjacency. This Thursday’s chat ended with a open conversation on the feelings had when a man is witnessed sitting shotgun while his wife or girlfriend drives.

Smith had to admit, against all sense or evolution, that it makes him feel awkward. That even though he, himself, is a worse driver than his wife, he feels odd and squirmy when not behind the wheel. Antiquated to the core, but also so hardwired in that it has been difficult to reroute, and that he feels less for men who sit shotgun while wife or girlfriend drives.

Scales almost went down the path that men are superior drivers to women, genetically, but deftly pivoted to suggest some deeper primordial problem with men needing control and women not minding so much, overall.

In any case, The Committee for Equity in Women’s Surfing, which usually trains its potent ire on women, ripping them from limb to limb in the public square, took time out to, rightfully, scorch the aforementioned Smith and Scales

“Have you considered who drives the (car emoji) in a same sex relationship?” The Committee asked. “You’re (sic) disgust with men driven by women is not only gender discrimination it’s also homophobic. I imagine that’s already understood however it was not covered in your conversation with David. We get it, you and David are puppet$ for the manosphere…”

The “puppets of the manosphere” line particularly damning especially in light of the wildly successful Barbie film.

Have you seen? I finally did just last night and it is very well done, especially in mocking the patriarchy and Kens. Not to spoil, but Barbie’s longtime male companion attempted to turn Barbieworld into a toxic man cave with bad taste and excess testosterone spewed here and there.

Hummers, saloon doors and brewski beers.


Thankfully, everything was put right, in the film, but I can’t help but wonder if this “manosphere” is a version of what Ken tried to create.

Matchbox 20, beach and oiled muscles.


But also, do you have an opinion on who drives and who rides shotgun? Hop in. The water’s warm.