Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan announces whimsical new job after shock firing!

Introducing President Silly Goose!

When not making people feel uncomfortable with unwanted amorous advances or telling beloved professional surfers that he would “ruin them” or berating Brazilian champions in scathing open letters, Erik Logan’s reign atop the World Surf League was marked by whimsical silly goose behavior.

From wearing a t-shirt of Filipe Toledo’s naked chest to his magical wetsuit of armor, ELo, as he self-identified, was full of goofy good-natured fun ‘n games.

After traveling to Brazil with the tour then getting fired in the most brutal of ways, one line dedicated to his “leaving the company immediately” and no lines given to accomplishments such as The Ultimate Surfer getting cancelled after one season or WSL Studios getting immediately shuttered.

Then he disappeared.

Previously robust Instagram account darkened.

Goodbye horses.

ELo fans, initially worried about his well-being, were buoyed when a report from Manhattan Beach declared he was back sweeping the ocean. Thoughts and prayers, though, soon turned to his financial health. What would the man with the poo poo touch do next after, essentially, destroying professional surfing?

What could he do?

You can image the geysers of relief, then, when his LinkedIn sparked to life, last evening, a gif featuring party poppers below a line reading, “I’m happy to share that I’m starting a new position as Living Life at Self-employed!”

While many rejoiced, those currently living life at self-employed became immediately concerned that Logan could well sink the entire industry. Applications for real jobs soaring.

Poo poo touch.

More as the story develops.

Jack Robinson wins Tahiti Pro, qualifies for Finals Day in September.

Jack Robinson issues grim warning to fragile world champ Filipe Toledo after ice-cold win over Gabriel Media at Tahiti Pro

The Tahiti Pro win bookends Robinson's season, the Western Australian having won the tour opener at Pipeline in February.

In rapidly deteriorating four-foot waves, surf fans fondled themselves into a state of near nervous collapse as Australian Jack Robinson muscled his way through Gabriel Medina to win the Tahiti Pro and a spot on Finals Day in September.

Robinson, twenty five, sat in the windy Teahupoo lineup, face congealed into a hard leering mask, watching as Medina collected six waves, accumulating fifteen points, even before the’d looked at one. 

As per form, the broadcast missed the first wave of the final, a crucial six point eight three, despite the final determining who would fill the final spot on Finals Day. 

Robinson, calm as ever and accustomed to last-minute wins, tunnelled through an insider which yielded a generous 7.83. Needing 7.18 to take the lead, a second wave with seven minutes left scored a 7.83.

“It was impressive, it was technical, it had that wow factor,” said commentator Peter Mel. 

After a forty-minute final it was the boy with hair so thick many believe he wears a yellow woollen wig who would take the final spot in the top five and an invite to Finals Day at Lower Trestles.

“It’s an interesting feeling…it was meant to be,” said Robinson.

The Tahiti Pro win bookends Robinson’s season, the Western Australian having won the tour opener at Pipeline in February.

A full contest analysis forthcoming from JP Currie, possibly tonight. Time diff between Scotland, where Currie lives and Tahiti, is a hell of a thing, the final running at three am,. 

Open Thread: Comment Live on Final’s Day of the Tahiti Pro where we are obliged to admit “Pip, what a fool you are!”

Great expectations.

Toledo (in yellow out the back) watching. Photo: WSL
Toledo (in yellow out the back) watching. Photo: WSL

Filipe Toledo ladles shame onto World Surf League championship trophy, yet again, with timid Teahupo’o performance!

A haunting at "the end of the road."

Filipe Toledo is, without doubt, the best small-wave surfer on the globe. There is no wedge or runner three feet or under that the Brazilian flyboy cannot dominate. His lightning fast reflexes, cat-like ability to land on his feet, confidence and flair is unmatched.

Filipe Toledo is also, without doubt, extremely afraid of Teahupo’o.

His round of sixteen heat against local wildcard Mihimana Braye, surfing in his first ever contest, featured the exact same timidity the cowardly lion has displayed in each of his trips to “The End of the Road.”

There he bobbed, holding priority, while Braye paddled, dropped, became barreled and was spat into applause.

There he took off on a small closeout just to hand that priority over and not be forced into actually trying.

There he lost 15.50 to 5.73

It was a shameful display and would be semi-forgiven if Toledo finally, and for the first time, admitted that Teahupo’o terrifies him.

But he doesn’t, the commentators pretend like what they are seeing is real effort and another year will, very likely, end with Toledo hoisting the Championship Trophy at Lower Trestles externally proud but internally haunted.

JP Currie, in his very fine day wrap, declared:

In the same way the wavepool lays bare the talent differential between surfers on the WCT, so too does Teahupo’o. Comparisons and judging are refreshingly straightforward and free of controversy when the criteria is clear: make critical drops on the biggest waves and get barrelled for as long as possible.

The masters of this are Jack Robinson, Gabriel Medina and John Florence. Teahupo’o is their element, and their mastery is unmatched.

The contrast between these three men and the one (Filipe Toledo) sitting atop the rankings is jarring. For the layperson or those new to pro surfing fandom, it would be hard to explain.

And how does Toledo explain? That he’s simply had a decade of bad luck? Why doesn’t he, like Griffin Colapinto and so many others, sink time into Tahiti and come away a conquering hero? It was a challenge laid before the twenty-eight year-old by BeachGrit some eight-ish years ago.

One that is still waiting for him to embrace.

Until then, his almost certain two championships are, unfortunately, illegitimate.

Take your shirt off.

"Try doing this..." Photo: Instagram
"Try doing this..." Photo: Instagram

Testosterone-soaked Mark Zuckerberg slides into Lindsey Vonn’s comments after Olympic skier posts footage of sensual e-foil session!

Real chill sparks.

But who would have ever guessed that Mark Zuckerberg, a college dropout who enjoyed ogling unattainable coeds back in the early aughts, would become the modern version of a renaissance man? The big wave stud, who confesses to doing “a fair amount of, like, extreme sport type stuff,” is notable for his foil exploits, spear chucking, BFFing of Kai Lenny and, now, mixed martial artistry.

Though certainly you are following along Zuckerberg and his challenging of Elon Musk to a cage fight. What, days ago, seem destined to happen

“I offered a real date. [UFC president] Dana White offered to make this a legit competition for charity,” Zuckerberg shared via his Twitter-like Threads. “Elon won’t confirm a date, then says he needs surgery, and now asks to do a practice round in my backyard instead. If Elon ever gets serious about a real date and official event, he knows how to reach me.”

The talk of a testosterone-soaked muffin. “Super cool, super fit,” to pull from the aforementioned Lenny.

And, I suppose, as is such with alphas, Zuckerberg recently slid into Lindsey Vonn’s Instagram comments, overnight, and delivered a seductive message.

The all-time leader in women’s World Cup downhill ski racing, Vonn had decided to try a little e-foiling on a placid Lake Tahoe. “Maybe not doctor approved but man I had fun! First day on a foil and knee feels great. Full steam ahead,” she wrote of the clip that featured her whizzing here and there.

Unable to contain himself, Zuckerberg left two clapping hand emojis. Vonn, who once dated Tiger Woods, was unable to resist and responded by asking the Meta founder on a date, “Have you foiled?! Let’s go!! Or skiing lol”

As if she didn’t know The Zuck was an expert foiler already.

The muscle-bound grappler took opportunity to mansplain “Once you get the e-foil down, try towing behind a jets on a regular foil board. Then you can go in the ocean and that’s even more fun. Skiing it pretty good too…”


Real chill sparks.