"Lately we've been dressing for revenge..."
The World Surf League has made a near infinite amount of blunders since billionaire Dirk Ziff took ownership some eight years ago. From Paul Speaker declaring professional surfing would soon be bigger than the National Football League to Erik Logan becoming unceremoniously fired in Brazil, there have been, really, an unbroken string of LOLs. Rare in this day and age when a chuckle is quickly followed by cancellation.
Russell Brand.
One of the consistent funniest of funnies, though, has been the attempt to normalize “surf jerseys.” Who could ever forget Japan’s silver medalist Kanoa Igarashi being branded Igarshi for the Surf Ranch Pro or Tyler Wright in general?
The whole business reached peak ridiculous during the just-wrapped Finals Day wherein the World Surf League decided to adorn the garments with “stunningly bad” limited edition slogans.
The Pride of Culburra.
I’d imagine children in Sri Lanka are being forced to wear after unsold stores are shipped off shore, though oh what might have been.
ESPN is reporting that the Kansas City Chief’s tight end Travis Kelce had his jersey sales spike by 400% after rumors began swirling that Taylor Swift, currently the most famous person on the planet, was his love interest.
Per the “worldwide leader in sports:”
Taylor Swift’s trip to watch Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce play football Sunday didn’t just have the internet talking nonstop.
After the 12-time Grammy Award winner’s appearance at Arrowhead Stadium, jersey sales for the All-Pro tight end seemingly skyrocketed.
According to sportswear and fan merchandise company Fanatics, Kelce’s jersey was one of the top five for the NFL on Sunday. He “saw a nearly 400% spike in sales throughout the Fanatics network of sites, including NFLShop.com,” a spokesperson told The Associated Press via email.
400%.
But you are certainly old enough to remember when rumors swirled that Swift was smitten with our very own John John Florence some decade ago? A golden and singular moment where all of Dirk Ziff’s hopes and dreams might have come true.
Alas, it all proved false but how depressed is the World Surf League today?
400% jersey spike?
They retail for around $50 meaning John John’s would have brought in a whopping $20,000 total.
Wild.
Though, is the aforementioned Erik Logan to blame?
You are also certainly old enough to remember when the Oklahoman with a magical wetsuit of armor castigated Swift in a red hot tweet, pegging the beloved singer-songwriter with, “For someone who draws such power from being the ‘voice’ and against all the things you talk about, I’m watching you violate what you allegedly stand for. You’re the real bully.”
Some things age well.
Others don’t.
Like Erik Logan.
Or the World Surf League.
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A 400% increase of a $50 jersey equals $200, not $20000. 400% = 4x, not 400x.
“A chuckle followed by cancellation”?
I dunno, I’ve somehow ended up knowing three successful comedians and they’re all nice dudes who are not getting cancelled, despite making jokes that are close to the line… I think the Brand thing has more to do with getting charged with rape and other assorted sex crimes than being funny, maybs? Innocent until proven guilty of course but yeh in the meantime some folks don’t want to laugh at jokes by a guy who might be a rapist
BTW Jerseys – solid gold evidence that WSL is being run in large part by peeps who have no idea or no interest in what surfers are into. Imagine the shame of wearing one in the line-up
Hawt xox
do your ears hang low do they frolic too and fro can you tie in a knot…”Kick the balls…”
Live Like Laird! Seagull’s are picking us apart~The Birds
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Water colour looks inviting…
bookings available…one year wait~
i’m old enough to remember elo tweeting that’s she’s a bully
over movie rights…Team Depp~
Did you hear that thing about JJF and Gabe too?
Without a doubt my favorite BG articles are the ones that really have nothing to do with surfing. But somehow Chas drags them down into the muck with us with a tenuous at best connection to surfing, to allow us to shit on folks outside the surf world!
Is there any chance we can connect this to Tyler Wright’s menstrual struggles? I mean Taylor also has a uterus??
This is wild but Rolling Stones had no less than…count em…I did…FOURTEEN 18 wheelers of setup at their Petco Park Concert. Two years later Ms. Swift had SEVENTEEN 18 wheelers of setup at Petco. She crazy POP.
I was at that Stones Petco gig!
Wtf is this? I was half expecting/hoping to see a BG review of the latest How Surfers Get Paid episode release today…
How surfers get laid would be more DR style, Chas not so much.
That’s pretty funny
At least three episodes could be dedicated to Taj’s reputed tour antics in that regard
And post tour if the playground whispers are anything to go by
Oooh but I dont like to kiss and tell Xox
“Tonight on Beachside Gritdition…”
Whod want that chopped liver when thered be so much prime rib on offer
hey now, JJF isn’t chopped liver!
‘Tyler Wright in general’
😂
Well for a start they are rashies designed originally to go under a old style stiched not glued seam wetsuit , the then morphed to external sun protection rash protection when wearing boardies , they are not fucken “jerseys” , could you imagine paddling arround with a rashie on with JJF or another fucken pro,s number or name on it fucken kooks.
I remember seeing plenty of kids and Brazilians wearing them back in the snapper days. Make what you want from that…
Brazzoz wear sluggos too
We’re doing it wrong, right?
You need at least a midlength
And frescobol!
Gold Coast has always been the land of the wannabe pro surfer kooks so no surprise, Brazzo’s just be Brazzo’s that’s how they roll.
Better imagine gang of us paddling out at Pipe with them on and sitting next to him..
you’ll never make it out there. so stay here. source: NS Lifeguards Association/BlackShorts/& Bailey’s billboards.
so how much does the wsl give JohnJohn for each jersey sale? Or, do they keep all of it and just use the surfers’ name? not that anyone would actually buy one
A 400% increase on JJF WSL jerseys being sold would still amount to zero!
But it’ll be John John Florence who writes the swift breakup song. Speaking of which, there’s musicians/singer/songwriters amongst us, so surely we could put together quite the deep cut breakup song that JJF could, should, dare I say must release.
I thought it was common knowledge that the Pyzel Ghost was named on account of how savagely JJF ghosted Ms. Swift
JJF’s downturns are savage indeed.
And Wardo’s lip bashes! Xox
That’s an urban legend.
Cream’s What a Bringdown…
If you don’t think this whole thing isn’t something that has been 100% calculated by Ms. Swift, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. But I also can’t say that this is particularly ingenious of her though—playing NFL fans and the American sports media like a fiddle is low hanging fruit.
I am truly saddened that you see her as some shallow star and capable of such PR fuckery when Kelce is everyman’s man and deserves better. Think about it as maybe she surfs better than Elo and like Elo prefers her men shirtless. Inquiring minds want to know if you were chosen to be her next victim would you turn it down knowing she will at some include you in a song?
Oh, I’d welcome having a Tay Tay song written about me, because I’d also write a song in response thereto about how she had written a song about me. And it would make thrash metal commercially relevant again, particularly if it escalated into warring songs and I challenged her to write a thrash metal song within my own thrash metal song.
Her song to you could be called “Swift kick in the nuts” and your track would be “Turren Taylor up”…🤘
Saylor Twift. Nautical Thrash Metal, pretty niche genre
Nautical Twash metal?
FREEBIRD~
real BTS story on this deal: I was at Arrowhead for opening night, wearing a Kelce jersey no less (spouse is a KC native). What do you know, next home game Taylor S shows up in the Kelce suite in an attempt to one up me. So next I’m wearing a JJF singlet to Pipe … let’s see her show up at Sunset and hang with Mama Florence.
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