Surfer Shane Dorian wades into Hamas vs Israel fracas with Joe Rogan

“Is this the last days of normal civilisation?” asks Smoking Joe Rogan.

The insanely popular podcaster, and rare voice of the centre with perhaps a slight right-ish lean, Joe Rogan, has taken on the mighty task of examining the Hamas v Israel war with the big-wave superstar Shane Dorian.

Shane Dorian, whom you’ll remember from his epic debut on BeachGrit in 2014 where he instructed readers on how to catch a twenty-foot wave and maybe a little later later when he discussed what it’s like to have a pretty baby deer die in your arms, joined Rogan for what is mostly a talk about stem cell treatment, hunting and eating meat.

All pet topics for Joe Rogan.

All very good, all well told by two charismatic men, interesting anecdotes fluttering between the two, nothing hysterical, just a couple of good ol boys doin’ what they do.

It lights up when Shane Dorian steers the conversation towards the Hamas v Israel war, which began on October 7 after Hamas terrorists, also the democratically elected government of Gaza, fed their blood lust for killing Hebes, prompting an understandable retaliation by the besieged Jewish nation.

“I don’t know if this is going to take us down a rabbit hole but…” says Dorian.

“I like rabbit holes,” says Joe.

“I was just…tripping” says Dorian, “We’re here in your studio talking about bow-hunting and food and there’s a war, there’s, like, people putting missiles together into some launcher thing right now and (Dorian makes launch and explosion sounds)…psssssh…pfffffow!”

“Israel’s about to invade Gaza,” says Joe. “They’re talking about a ground invasion of Gaza.”

“That’s so gnarly!” said Dorian.

“It’s so terrifying because we’re so close to World War III,” says Joe. “We’re so close.”

“It’s no joke, man,” says Dorian.



Olympic surfing seeks influencer to “Tap into Tahiti!”

Desperately seeking the next Joe Turpel!

The 2024 Olympics is almost here. This summer will see various runners, swimmers and fencers descending upon Paris, France. It will also see surfers purchasing tickets and flying halfway across the world to Tahiti. Yes, Teahupo’o will host the wave sliding portion of the Games though trouble is brewing. Protestors, for example, are publicly very angry about organizers replacing the wooden judging tower on the reef with a mangy aluminum one. Sitting world champion, Filipe Toledo, is privately fuming that his least favorite wave will determine who is adorned in gold.

Well, in any case, America’s National Broadcasting Corporation, which holds the rights to Olympic coverage, is excited about it all and actively seeking an influencer to cover the fireworks. NBC sent out a casting call, overnight, seeking a “content creator” to make TikToks for the surf fan audience.

Tap in to Tahiti

The program, which will select its candidate based upon “skills, style, technical expertise and ability to inspire,” is asking applicants to send a 30-second video. The bold and beautiful are instructed to describe a “gold-medal worthy day” at the beach. They are required to use the hashtag #TapIntoTahiti2024.

While you might be tempted to participate, I think the leading candidate must be OnlyFans star Nathan Florence. He is a fine performer in Tahiti already.

Or maybe movie star handsome Ben Gravy.

Recently disgraced Selema Masekela certainly in desperate need of help to “tap in to” anything?

The handicapped boy who couldn’t duck dive Pipeline?

Do you have any better ideas?

While you are thinking, do you imagine this influencer push by NBC is a slight mistake? That the executives and producers don’t know that youth participation in surfing has plummeted?

You’ll remember when Derek Rielly reported a couple of years back when the “organisers of a surfing contest in New Zealand were forced to add a new age-group after an eighty-year-old kneeboarder signed up.”

Maybe the kneeboarder should give the influencer gig a go.

Tahiti time.

Food for thought.

The great Joey Cabell sliding through secrets.
The great Joey Cabell sliding through secrets.

Surf-adjacent rumor rocks NBA on season opener!

The NBA game is fast and fun. The playoff format is sensible and does not end at Lower Trestles. And its rumors sizzle like bacon!

The surf world is small but it does have tentacles everywhere. Like, someone knows someone knows someone who knows a surfer. And, thus, we find ourselves on the Hawaiian island of Oahu. But before we dig in, are you a fan of professional basketball at its highest level? The World Surf League of that sport, called the National Basketball Association, is, by my account, the finest there is.

The NBA game is fast and fun. Its stars shine brightly, dating and marrying starlets. The playoff format is sensible and does not end at Lower Trestles. There have been whole wonderful and different basketball eras. Showtime, Bird and the Parish, Dead Ball, the reign of His Airness, twenty years of Bron, and more.

Winning Time

But back to Oahu where we find our hero, Joey Cabell. Now, you must recall the “finest all-around surfer in the world,” circa the 1960s. He was one of the first thread the tube, re-engaged with surfing as boards got shorter and, most importantly, co-founded the Chart House restaurant.

Have you ever eaten at a Chart House? It is one of the greatest pleasures of mid-40s life. I recommend going early, at 5:00 pm or such and ordering a Grey Goose dirty martini with blue cheese olives and a dozen oysters with your better half. Next, share a prime rib with jus and extra fresh horseradish. Add one side salad et voila.

The first Chart House was in… I can’t remember. The second, Honolulu, I think, where Cabell lived. At the time, he was married to Los Angeles Laker star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s ex-wife.

Well, The Captain allegedly told her, when they were coupled, that other Laker star Magic Johnston and Piston’s dynamo Isiah Thomas had some sort of “special relationship.”


Even if you cannot believe, that is why the NBA is > than the WSL.


If two professional surfers were to carry on, secretly, which two would you most wish for?

Nice choice.

David Lee Scales and I, anyhow, discussed this bombshell alongside… you know, I can’t remember that either. Take some headphones down to your local Chart House on a journey of discovery and enjoy.

Foil-boarder hit by whale
"Took me down about 20, 30 feet. I was able to escape by my leash breaking."

Breaching whale collides with wing foil surfer in near decapitation and drowning!

"It landed straight on top of me and took me down twenty or thirty feet!"

In a scene similar to an 18-wheel semi truck swinging into your blind spot and impacting with the force of an Israeli Python air-to-air missile, a Sydney wing foil surfer had a whale breach and land on his chest while foiling.

Surfer Jason Breen, who is fifty-five, was foiling at Mona Vale on Sydney’s northern beaches when nature’s own IED (Improvised Explosive Device) decided to break the surface and detonate.

“I knew it was a whale. I saw the head come out, then I saw the body come out and then I saw the whole thing above me. It got bigger and bigger. It landed straight on top of me,” Jason told local news.

“Took me down about twenty-thirty feet. I was able to escape by my leash breaking. When it came down on top of me it got caught on my leash then it dragged me down with it. Something that’s not meant to break, broke. Thats why I’m here today.”


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Jason said it felt like a calf because as he was surfacing and his face was rubbing against the whale’s skin he didn’t feel any barnacles.

If there were, he says, his face would have been torn to threads.

Jason, who now calls himself The Whale Guy, is lucky he crossed paths with the kid and not his mama.

Even better she wasn’t around as we all know the wrath a feral beast gets possessed by when its offspring is threatened or even approached.

Wing foil surfing, of course, is a thrilling water sport that has gained popularity in recent years, combining elements of windsurfing, kiteboarding, and stand-up paddleboarding.

Enthusiasts of this exciting activity ride the waves while holding onto a handheld wing, which resembles a small sail.

It represents the cutting edge of modern water sports.



Kelly Slater revealed as secret BeachGrit user in shock video that has surfing fans reeling!

Online sleuths with magnifying glasses show Kelly Slater using BeachGrit as a special in-your-pocket encyclopedia!

You don’t have to dig too far into the ol archives to realise that Kelly Slater, greatest athlete of all time with the possible exception of Rickson Gracie, ain’t a fan of your ol pals at BeachGrit. 

A few years back a New Zealand reader had a little back and forth with Kelly Slater, described in these pages as the world’s most thin-skinned surfer. When BeachGrit came up he wrote “Fuck those guys.” 

Many good times over the years, of course.

The Chinese girlfriend blood feud with a troll, a favourite.

Anyway, online sleuths, have foiled Kelly Slater’s supposed avoidance of all things BeachGrit in an Instagram post by Bob Hurley, the “razor sharp surf magnate”.

Kelly Slater looking at BeachGrit on his phone.
Kelly Slater and his guilty BeachGrit-lovin’ telephone.

It’s an innocuous enough post.

Kelly Slater talks about a surfboard Florida’s Matt Kechele had made for the Typhoon Lagoon wave pool, which is now in his possession. It is five-foot five long and  featured on the cover of Surfing in 1988. Subsequently, it was owned by the Malloy brothers and used as a learn-to-surf tool by their kids.

But look a little close and…yes…Kelly is using BeachGrit! Referencing the story, “Revealed: A history of Kelly Slater’s Pool!” which spoke highly of the pool’s technical architect the Jamacian-born Adam Fincham.

An  excerpt:

Adam Fincham was a research professor from the Department of Aerospace and Mechanical Engineering, at the University of Southern California. When Kelly came knocking in 2006, swinging his idea of a barrelling man-made wave.

Fincham had worked mostly in Europe and didn’t know who Slater was. But Fincham “pulled together a team of colleagues and undertook a pilot study in 2007.

They decided that, yes, it was possible.”

Two years later, Fincham was director for science at KSWC, working out of a lab in Culver City, just of out of LA, and using a 1/15th model scale for testing.

Kelly Slater referencing BeachGrit while at his pool? His essential guide to all things surf? Kelly Slater’s portable reference tool?

Readers ask: does this suggest better days ahead for the two spearheads of surfing?


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