“Is this the last days of normal civilisation?” asks Smoking Joe Rogan.

The insanely popular podcaster, and rare voice of the centre with perhaps a slight right-ish lean, Joe Rogan, has taken on the mighty task of examining the Hamas v Israel war with the big-wave superstar Shane Dorian.

Shane Dorian, whom you’ll remember from his epic debut on BeachGrit in 2014 where he instructed readers on how to catch a twenty-foot wave and maybe a little later later when he discussed what it’s like to have a pretty baby deer die in your arms, joined Rogan for what is mostly a talk about stem cell treatment, hunting and eating meat.

All pet topics for Joe Rogan.

All very good, all well told by two charismatic men, interesting anecdotes fluttering between the two, nothing hysterical, just a couple of good ol boys doin’ what they do.

It lights up when Shane Dorian steers the conversation towards the Hamas v Israel war, which began on October 7 after Hamas terrorists, also the democratically elected government of Gaza, fed their blood lust for killing Hebes, prompting an understandable retaliation by the besieged Jewish nation.

“I don’t know if this is going to take us down a rabbit hole but…” says Dorian.

“I like rabbit holes,” says Joe.

“I was just…tripping” says Dorian, “We’re here in your studio talking about bow-hunting and food and there’s a war, there’s, like, people putting missiles together into some launcher thing right now and (Dorian makes launch and explosion sounds)…psssssh…pfffffow!”

“Israel’s about to invade Gaza,” says Joe. “They’re talking about a ground invasion of Gaza.”

“That’s so gnarly!” said Dorian.

“It’s so terrifying because we’re so close to World War III,” says Joe. “We’re so close.”

“It’s no joke, man,” says Dorian.

Essential.

"It landed straight on top of me and took me down twenty or thirty feet!"

In a scene similar to an 18-wheel semi truck swinging into your blind spot and impacting with the force of an Israeli Python air-to-air missile, a Sydney wing foil surfer had a whale breach and land on his chest while foiling.

Surfer Jason Breen, who is fifty-five, was foiling at Mona Vale on Sydney’s northern beaches when nature’s own IED (Improvised Explosive Device) decided to break the surface and detonate.

“I knew it was a whale. I saw the head come out, then I saw the body come out and then I saw the whole thing above me. It got bigger and bigger. It landed straight on top of me,” Jason told local news.

“Took me down about twenty-thirty feet. I was able to escape by my leash breaking. When it came down on top of me it got caught on my leash then it dragged me down with it. Something that’s not meant to break, broke. Thats why I’m here today.”

 

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Jason said it felt like a calf because as he was surfacing and his face was rubbing against the whale’s skin he didn’t feel any barnacles.

If there were, he says, his face would have been torn to threads.

Jason, who now calls himself The Whale Guy, is lucky he crossed paths with the kid and not his mama.

Even better she wasn’t around as we all know the wrath a feral beast gets possessed by when its offspring is threatened or even approached.

Wing foil surfing, of course, is a thrilling water sport that has gained popularity in recent years, combining elements of windsurfing, kiteboarding, and stand-up paddleboarding.

Enthusiasts of this exciting activity ride the waves while holding onto a handheld wing, which resembles a small sail.

It represents the cutting edge of modern water sports.

Online sleuths with magnifying glasses show Kelly Slater using BeachGrit as a special in-your-pocket encyclopedia!

You don’t have to dig too far into the ol archives to realise that Kelly Slater, greatest athlete of all time with the possible exception of Rickson Gracie, ain’t a fan of your ol pals at BeachGrit. 

A few years back a New Zealand reader had a little back and forth with Kelly Slater, described in these pages as the world’s most thin-skinned surfer. When BeachGrit came up he wrote “Fuck those guys.” 

Many good times over the years, of course.

The Chinese girlfriend blood feud with a troll, a favourite.

Anyway, online sleuths, have foiled Kelly Slater’s supposed avoidance of all things BeachGrit in an Instagram post by Bob Hurley, the “razor sharp surf magnate”.

It’s an innocuous enough post.

Kelly Slater talks about a surfboard Florida’s Matt Kechele had made for the Typhoon Lagoon wave pool, which is now in his possession. It is five-foot five long and  featured on the cover of Surfing in 1988. Subsequently, it was owned by the Malloy brothers and used as a learn-to-surf tool by their kids.

But look a little close and…yes…Kelly is using BeachGrit! Referencing the story, “Revealed: A history of Kelly Slater’s Pool!” which spoke highly of the pool’s technical architect the Jamacian-born Adam Fincham.

An  excerpt:

Adam Fincham was a research professor from the Department of Aerospace and Mechanical Engineering, at the University of Southern California. When Kelly came knocking in 2006, swinging his idea of a barrelling man-made wave.

Fincham had worked mostly in Europe and didn’t know who Slater was. But Fincham “pulled together a team of colleagues and undertook a pilot study in 2007.

They decided that, yes, it was possible.”

Two years later, Fincham was director for science at KSWC, working out of a lab in Culver City, just of out of LA, and using a 1/15th model scale for testing.

Kelly Slater referencing BeachGrit while at his pool? His essential guide to all things surf? Kelly Slater’s portable reference tool?

Readers ask: does this suggest better days ahead for the two spearheads of surfing?

 

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