"For that comment I'm gonna drop in on you again."
Surf nobility has descended upon Coolangatta, Australia and its famed Snapper Rocks. The Gold Coast hamlet was once a crown jewel in professional surfing’s crown. For many years it hosted the championship tour season opener and a gilded soiree celebrating the past year’s winners. Now, it has been relegated to the minor leagues, hosting a challenger series event but at least it is the first one after the dreaded mid-season cut thereby guaranteeing A-list attendance.
The Boost Mobile Pro, which opens its window on May 6th, has not announced the draw, yet, but Snapper has been firing and the aforementioned who’s who has been in the lineup, sampling.
Well, just yesterday videographer Simon “Shagga” Saffigna captured a wonderful clip not of a surfing prince or princess but rather a hefty gent on a longboard experiencing the monster ride of his young life.
While he missed the barrel, praise for his panache was near universal.
Notable surf journalist Tim Baker declared, “World champ if the best surfer really is the one having the most fun.”
Gold Coast legend Dean Morrison added, “The feel and real effect.
Captain America Taylor Knox listed many laughing until crying emojis.
Of course there was light ribbing and then a backlash to that light ribbing, people angry that fun making was happening at the expense of a good-natured fellow, which brings us to Kelly Slater.
The world’s greatest surfer, never shy in sharing his opinion, penning, “Some people getting real triggered over a joke here. I’m happy the guy is stoked but it is pretty funny.”
Now, students of the game know that the 11x world champion is also the world’s most sensitive surfer, blocking anyone on social media who dare giggle his way. Slater’s delicateness is renowned. His thin skin legendary. But do you think he sniffs that whiff of hypocrisy, his pot calling other kettles’ black, or do you think he fancies himself an unflappable tough guy?
Very funny if the latter.
In any case, Slater was told to “eat a bag of dicks” for dropping in on someone. He then vowed vengeance.
“For that comment I’m gonna drop in on you again. Deal with it.”
Meow.
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Hi Kelly!
Of course Sammy, Capitalism and Surfing go hand in hand.
Buy a T-shirt for the whole family! air fresheners for your car! Bath bomb for your Wife!
click, click, click! below!
https://beachgrit.com/shop/
Personally, I’d only be calling someone Devon head if the still had a bit of fluff skirting the sides. It really needs to look like a slice of dev has been slapped on those thinning follicles. Not really the appropriate insult when there’s absolutely zero hair up there. Why people always gotta be so mean to old baldy?
kelly hiding his game face. which should be worn in the line-up and in his new Snapper surf profile…”I am now invinceable…” (can also be applied to Tudor,
Pottz,Knox, j_ziebell, et. al…yeah, I liked that look too…(last night posting insex pics) can I take off the conehat and come outta the corner?https://dm0qx8t0i9gc9.cloud…
Haha, referencing eating dicks and Tim Baker, just reminds me of Timmy’s Saints of Surf Journalism artwork, which is still one of my favorite entries and is perfect…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Smokey Robinson wrote a song about this recently. I dare anyone to listen to this track without laughing your ass off. Smokey and his lyrical genius presents “Gasms”.
Ha!
This was truly the best series. Time to bring back. Email me images?
Whatever happened to the shirts for this?… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
With the post cut Cow Shit Pro coming up, I think it’s time for power rankings.
It’s in 4 weeks? Just need to carve out a couple hours between now and then… maybe…
Make this happen!
Make stickers and we can sticker bomb contest sites. Would pay for these Karl!
Having the opportunity to come from behind and launch Kelly off of his board or just to run him over would be one of the more satisfying things I can think of
Oh Chas Chas Chas, now I see why Kelly is always angry with you.
It’s your poor reading comprehension which leads to you making exaggerated comments pertaining to his lifestyle.
For instance, it’s quite clear that j_ziebell told Kelly to “eat a dick”, as in, just the one singular dick.
Not a bag containing multiple dicks as you suggested.
No wonder he’s annoyed with you, that’s quite a difference of dick consumption.
Though what I found more intriguing about j_ziebell’s comment is that he appears to call Kelly a ‘Devon head’.
Presumably that means ‘dick head’, in which case, what will the good people of Devon have to say about it in reference to their delicious scones covered in jam and cream with a cup of tea ?
fuckin’ inflation man , am i right…?
check this out brother….
https://dicksbymail.com/?gc…
Dude has me blocked on all my profiles and I can’t even laugh react to outerknowns posts anymore. Ultimate troll I moved to his hometown.