“Never in history has a free party been made better by inviting cops!”
The ultra-purist three-time world surfing champion Joel Tudor has fired a brutal salvo at Byron Bay council after its decision to enforce the wearing of legropes by law.
Following a series of gruesome collisions with untethered surf craft, piloted mostly by hipsters high on the retro-nostalgia beat, Councillor Cate Coorey successfully drove through a motion that puts cops on the beach writing on-the-spot fines of $75 or $1100 if you unsuccessfully challenge the penalty in court.
Anyway, Tudor, who is forty-six and nicknamed Tinkerbell, wrote on the epically savage LordsofByronBay Instagram account,
“Never in history has a free party been made better by inviting cops! Good job Australia you just invited parking attendants to the lineup.”
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Although I don’t often agree with Tudor, except, perhaps, on the efficacy of jiujitsu once a fight hits the ground, I second his remarks and find little to recommend giving little men with guns the authority to wade into beach politics.
But maybe not so bad?
As another follower pointed out,
“If you read the council minutes (invigorating) the Legal Counsel comments were “I would anticipate a close to 0% successful prosecution rate on any fine that was court elected”. The whole thing is a farce that is there to distract the public from real issues that face the shire, such as overdevelopment and affordable housing. It will be a gross waste of the courts time, the ratepayers money and a horrible job for the poor soul trying to enforce this silliness.”
Both are superlatively good longboarders, but both rely on turning from the tail too much to qualify as as well-rounded as Tudor. He’s in their league at big Pipe, but they aren’t in his at medium-to-small Malibu.
News flash, it’s not 1776.
I mean I know Rambo got the Russians out of Afghanistan but just in case you are confused, Rambo wasn’t a documentary.
Council must operate under the local government act and there is no provision in the local government act to enforce this fine as council jurisdiction ends at the high water mark. Any challenge in court will succeed and the council knows it. While as a surfer myself I agree, whole heartedly with the sentiment it’s a stupid law because it’s unenforsable.
If you need to pass a law a than it should be helmets for kids.
Leash for adults is an assbackwards approach to the perceived problem.
Oh I work with a lot of ex US marines. A few ex US army and navy.
Conservative they may be but they aren’t oathbreakers.
Rambo wasnt real.
Are you really so deluded you think anyone can defeat the US military?
60%! A D minus.
And you’re usually such a very good student. You aren’t performing up to your potential (your wife agrees with me on this).
#1–Correct
#2–More correct
#3–Wrong
#4–Yes
#5–Wrong. Get tutored by Tudor. Watch Adrift or The Seedling.
Even my wife wonders what happened to Australia. She’s a South Dakota ranch girl that felt a real kinship with that whole independent, outback image. My theory is too much urban living softened them to pudding. Whatever the gov says goes.
Shame about him being the best longboarder to ever walk the plank, huh?
Go get ’em rambo! You can take on the might of the US military and win! If not for true patriots like you they’d be rounding you up, right?
How is your “well regulated militia” going to stop a tank?
Does the 2A allow you to keep a bazooka at home? Landmines?
You have been watching too much Rambo movies mate. You are not a one man killing machine.
But i’m all ears. Explain to me how you’re going to stop the US Military at bay. I mean if a government decided to go all tyrannical on your ass they aren’t going to dress up like the red coats and round you up at the point of a bayonet.
LWSS, not to go all culture warrior on you, but are you familiar with
Vietnam? Guerrilla warfare? And have you looked at the stats on the political leanings of the U.S. armed forces? You think all those good old boys–the armies backbone–are going to line up against their friends and family back home?
You know that the soviet union was providing North Vietnam and the vietkong with stuff like Mig jets, tanks, heavy weapons, etc? John Rambo excluded, where are these brave freedom fighters in the well regulated militia going to get such weapons?
All members of the US military swear an oath to defend the country against enemies both domestic and foreign. So yeah, they will come down hard on the insurrectionists.
Insurrectionists, yes.
Patriots fighting Leftists, no.
Wont need no cops the council will default control to SLSC ,s and then it will spead Australia wide then the shit will start to hit the fan.
I like surfing leashless to increase a bit surf fitness – only when i am on my own little peak – which rare in itself.
If crew out obviously wear leggie
However the other question is – are the same police going to fine kooks who because they have a legrope on decide to bail in front of you without looking?
Almost more dangerous because it is a last minute thing!!
Maybe that is also a $750 instant fine
I used Jewboy in a sentence.
I’m aiming to say something more inflammatory. Stick around.
Also, it sound like the majority of this BG readership (what I would guess to be seasoned surfers) wear a leash every surf no matter what. This is shocking to me if true. Where did the core go? Make surf grit again! Learn how to surf without ghosting your board toward the beach after a turn. Why are we cool with such a soft wimpy line up? Why aren’t there the uncles sitting on the peak regulating and keeping order? Jack O’neill really screwed the pooch.
Used to surf a reef with an inside deep spot that you could easily swim for your board coming back out in the rip. Then one time on a brand new board it disappeared out to sea. Grabbed a 9’0 and paddled way out to look for it. Talked to a few boat captains going by and they tried to spot it.The half mile paddle back to shore was minor, but never found that board. The replacement copy wasn’t even close to as good cut from the same file. Still go leash less there but get all the boards sprayed chartreuse now.
That the grit I’m talking about. Thank you Dave!
What is the next rule to come after this one doesn’t solve anything? And I would bet that there will be more injuries, fights, and boards tangled in the wight water next year further destroying the once paradise know as Byron Bay driving the locals to move to the next ideal headland bringing man buns and wellness moms in to ruin yet another paradise and so on.
The kook cord law will not stop the man bun hipster from putting his rail and or fin into a kids skull. Those kooks will continue to be kooks. I would rather that kook have to go for a swim to retrieve his new resin tinted McTavish so the parents have a chance to get their hands on him rather than him be able to pull his board by the leash hop on and disappear into the sea of man buns. All the laws in the world can’t fix what Byron needs repaired.
Im sure the coppers will line up in anticipation of being called to testify for every challenge.
I think a compromise is warranted. Ban longboards.