"Hey everyone! I'm currently visiting the islands, and I've noticed an abundance of ridiculously lifted pickup trucks."

It times back, the weather was a solidly safe holiday dinnertime conversation. Unlike politics or religion, the sun shining, or not, clouds raining, or not was a simple matter of observance. Easy. Clean. No longer. Any mention of the elements, these days, will ignite the table into full civil war. Daughter yelling at mother that the government is seeding the skies with chemicals. Son yelling at uncle to shut his gross polluting mouth.

Very uncomfortable.

The two broad camps, of course, are those who believe man is changing the environment through his consumption of fossil fuels and those who believe earth gonna earth and our smoking cigarettes etc. doesn’t make a dent.

The polite society thing to profess is, of course, the former except new details from Hawaii are baffling the most ardent climate change activists.

Hawaii, currently, has more snow than Boston and New York combined.

Per Newsweek:

Meteorologists described Hawaii as a “winter wonderland” earlier this season after a late November snowstorm dumped approximately half a foot of snow at the Mauna Kea Weather Center on Hawaii Island. The weather center is based on the Mauna Kea volcano. The peaks at Mauna Loa also saw snowfall. Meanwhile, Boston has only received a fraction of its average snowfall, with .2 inches falling on December 6. Snow has yet to fall this season in New York City.

While this should prop up theories that mans’ gas guzzling has irrevocably altered “normal,” Hawaii is home to this:

Peak gas guzzle.

Lifted V-6s and V-8s are a national treasure on the archipelago, praised and honored. A plume of holy smoke puff puff puffing out of polished exhaust pipes.

Glorious things but back to the snow issue, what to make of it?

This is the sort of vehicle popular in bone dry New York:

How to square with current theories?

Certainly more questions than answers.

"Surfing has always been about Bustin’ Down the Door — always about experimentation, leadership, individuality and innovation..."

I’ve been thinking about Dirk Ziff’s wife Natasha, this morning. Not in any sort of bad way, or even uncomfortable, just remembering when the co-Waterperson of the Year said, “Surfing has always been about Bustin’ Down the Door — always about experimentation, leadership, individuality and innovation, both in athletic progression and culturally. And this is how we want to be, and will always strive to be, at the WSL: innovative and always pushing forward. The surfers, past and present and future, are our guides — the surfing greats have never been grumpy traditionalists, but tough innovators.”

Remember that? It was five years ago, now, so you’d be forgiven for forgetting but I ponder that last “the surfing greats have never been grumpy traditionalists, but tough innovators” often.

Is that actually true?

Well, while you’re thinking, according to Variety, filming has wrapped on The Surfer, a Nicolas Cage vehicle shot entirely in Yallingup. The picture tells the story of:

When a man returns to Australia to buy back his family home after many years in the U.S., he is humiliated in front of his teenage son by a group of local surfers who claim ownership over the secluded beach of his childhood. Wounded, he defies them and remains at the beach, demanding acceptance. As the conflict escalates he is brought to the edge of his sanity and his identity is thrown into question.

Back to Ziff’s axiom, Cage seems like a grumpy traditionalist. The group of local surfers certainly seem like grumpy traditionalists. The whole movie, in fact, appears to revolve around the very idea of grumpy traditionalism. They all sort of seem sort of great too, in their own way.

Was she wrong?

More as the story develops.

"I’m wary of giving people ideas where they can hurt themselves.”

I never thought I’d see a day wherein the Pipe Masters was “less than” but here we are, living in the wake of the World Surf League and its horrible decision-making. Thankfully, the “global home of surfing” has never, and will never, lay a finger on The Eddie Aikau Big Wave Invitational. Waimea’s iconic event honoring the surf and lifesaving legend Eddie Aikau has only run ten times since 1984, last won by local lifeguard Luke Shepardson.

To become invited to The Eddie is a great honor in and of itself, one that Felicity Palmateer certainly deserves. The 31-year-old who hails from Western Australia has made her indelible mark on the scene, having ridden the biggest wave ever for a female at Cow Bombie and more.

But how does she prepare to conquer the Bay?

Secretly.

Talking to The Sydney Morning Herald, Palmateer stated, “My trainer has warned me not to talk about it too much in depth because if you don’t do it properly it can get really dangerous. We’re talking shallow-water blackouts and it can develop into a life-threatening situation really quickly, so I’m wary of giving people ideas where they can hurt themselves.”

Later she added, “It’s all well and good to do static breath holds and say, ‘Yeah, I can hold my breath for four minutes’, but that’s not relatable to big wave surfing. There’s nothing relaxing about it, there’s no nice, calm setting. It’s violent. It’s disorientating. Your heart rate is going through the roof. So with the training, you’re trying to regulate your heart rate as quickly as possible, bringing your nervous system down. It feels like you’re running at 10-speed on a treadmill at a maximum incline while holding your breath. So it’s hard. It’s as much stress as you can manufacture, underwater. But it’s always with someone, never alone.”

So there we have it, accidentally. Passing out, face down, in a bathtub and running on a treadmill at maximum incline while holding breath.

Going to start this afternoon.