Conquering.
Conquering

Surfing Santas continue improbable rise to peak holiday kitsch!

World domination.

And now Merry Christmas to our northern hemisphere brothers and sisters. I can only trust that each of your houses is filled with joy and laughs and harmony. Also, I assume, there is some manner of holiday kitsch hovering nearby. Fake reindeer antler ears, say, on Uncle Ron’s head. Or a big red bow on Aunt Sue’s Volkswagen Beetle.

But who would have ever thought that Cocoa Beach’s Surfing Santas would have scaled so high up Mount Merry in a short fourteen years. Yes, the annual celebration in which Kelly Slater-adjacent surfers dress as jolly ol’ Saint Nick and paddle into the ocean for to make surfing.

More and more news outlets cover the affair each year and, today, the business rivals the Catholic Church for space in the headlines.

The BBC, an entirely respected institution, released its annual wrap, late last night, declaring,“Midnight Mass and surfing Santas: Pictures of Christmas around the world.”

Surfing Santas never so honored or esteemed.

Revered.

Oh.

I just looked at the picture and the Surfing Santa was not Floridian but there in Bondi, Australia.

Do you think rage percolating in the Sunshine State or do you think Surfing Santas all equally satisfied with world domination?

Whatever the case, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!


Joaquin Del Castillo injured at Pipeline
Joaquin Del Castillo in hozzy after nearly getting split in two at Backdoor.

Pipeline claims third high-profile surfer as horror North Shore winter continues

Busted hip, no insurance. Like, yike!

The mighty Pipeline has shattered its third assailant in as many weeks, Peruvian hotshot Joaquin Del Castillo suffering  multiple hip fractures after a catastrophic wipeout.

Friends of Joaquin Del Castillo, who is twenty eight and known for his kinky aerial tricks as well as an ability to impound himself in the Pipeline palace, have set up a GoFundMe to pay for his med bills after it was revealed he wasn’t insured for such a misadventure.

Tough time we are having Joaquin Del Castillo had an accident today in Hawaii training for the World Championship at Backdoor.
He is out of danger but he had a serious hip fracture, because of the delicate condition he will not be able to travel to Peru and will have to be operated on in Hawaii. Joaquin does not have health insurance but I know that all together we can put our grain of sand to be able to help him and that he can return to Peru with the family

Instagram warriors meandered back and forth between compassion and confusion Joaquin Del Castillo didn’t have a little back up in case things went south on the North Shore.

All these pro surfers without insurance getting injured

Really a surfer representing PERU 🇵🇪 must have insurance either by the IPD or its sponsors

One of the best national surfers representing Peru outside in the hottest courts leaving the flag always high… And the state, Federation of course + IPD, can’t they if they want to pay for good accident insurance!?

Three weeks ago, world number four Joao Chianca was dragged unconscious from the water at Pipe by teenage surfer Jake Maki and last week, Teahupoo kingpin Eimeo Czermak lost the use of his legs and got belted with a concussion after going over the falls at the Vans Pipe Masters.

 

 

 

 


Glorious White Christmas for Australian surfers as bricks of cocaine wash up on beach!

Summer snow!

Australian surfers are rejoicing, this morning, even if they were disappointed by what they found under the tree. Wives, husbands, mothers and fathers sometimes certainly blow gift giving, not paying close attention to wants and needs, lazily purchasing a new steak knife set, say, or a tie.

No matter this year, though, as literal blow has washed up on New South Wales’ many surf rich beaches. Seven packages, all told, floated to Manly, Avoca and Magenta.

“Local police attended and removed the barnacle-covered item, which was sent for further examination and testing,” authorities wrote in a press release.

That testing revealed cocaine.

Police have warned surfers not to open the packages though do you think they will listen?

That’s a trick question. Of course they will not. Australia’s surfers, especially of the New South Wales variety, are known to be engaged in a long love affair with “toot.”

(Buy here for Christmas).

Those who find cocaine are urged to call 000 right away.

And/or the Bondi Board Riders club.


Photo: @markrichardssurfboards
Photo: @markrichardssurfboards

Surf legend Mark Richards delights fans by transforming into life-sized Elf on the Shelf for Christmas!

Joy to the world!

Merry Christmas, or eve depending on when and where you are reading, to one and all on this glorious day. But how are you spending it? With loved ones cuddled together by a warm fire? Maybe a little dawn patrol with da boyz? Are there traditions in your home or are you a li’l bit grinchy?

Whatever the case, Mark Richards will certainly bring cheer to your heart as, just look at him, transformed into a life sized Elf on the Shelf.

Pure magic!

The Elf on the Shelf is, of course, a modern miracle bringing joy and terror to children around the world. If you are unaware, the Elf on the Shelf comes to the house in the start of December in order to spy on everyone then report back to Santa on behaviors. Much like North Korea security services. Or Mark Zuckerberg. He moves to a new place in the home the next morning, the children find him and the whole charade is repeated and repeated until Christmas morning.

Richards, anyhow, does the little narc proud and now you have happiness in your soul.

Jingle bells!


“What the f$%?” North Shore’s Rick Kane makes shock cameo at Palm Springs Surf Club!

“The original king is still the king!”

The actor Matt Adler, whose turn as the wavepool surfer turned Pipeline hero Rick Kane in the 1987 film North Shore shifted the B-grade thespian into cult stardom, has made a triumphant return to pool surfing at the just-unveiled Palm Springs Surf Club. 

Adler, now fifty-seven, riding a magnificent Matt Biolos-shaped middy and with a laugh that rings through the tank like a baritone bell, cameos in the Palm Springs Surf Club pool alongside Blair Conklin, Italo Ferreira, Parker Coffin, Josh and Sierra Kerr. 

Matt Adler is clearly proud of his mesmeric pull and the fascination Rick Kane holds for platoons of what are now old men. 

Watch the beautiful moment the Palm Springs Surf Club’s “wave-making maestro” Cheyne Magnusson is told the little fellow in front of him with the strange eyes burning like green lasers in their deep sockets, is actually…Rick Kane. 

“You don’t recognise him?”

“No!” 

“You don’t, huh!” 

“No!”

“Take a good look at this guy. It’s…Rick! 

Magnusson explodes, “What the fuck!” 

“That’s Rick, dude, that’s Rick! That’s Rick, dog!” 

In the middle of this year, Charlie Smith wrote of the lingering appeal of North Shore to the middle-aged surfer.

Every middle-to-upper-middle age cis white male has seen the classic multiple times. First on VHS, later on DVD, lastly streaming. It tells the story of Rick Kane, an Arizona surf standout who wins a contest in a pool, a drawing kit, a belt buckle and enough airfare for a trip to Oahu’s fabled North Shore. Once there he is treated to a heavy wake-up call via the powerful waves, sharp reef and serious local justice. He falls for Sam George’s ex-wife, is taken under the wing of a Pyzel-like surfboard shaper and eventually beats Laird Hamilton by discovering his soul.