World domination.

And now Merry Christmas to our northern hemisphere brothers and sisters. I can only trust that each of your houses is filled with joy and laughs and harmony. Also, I assume, there is some manner of holiday kitsch hovering nearby. Fake reindeer antler ears, say, on Uncle Ron’s head. Or a big red bow on Aunt Sue’s Volkswagen Beetle.

But who would have ever thought that Cocoa Beach’s Surfing Santas would have scaled so high up Mount Merry in a short fourteen years. Yes, the annual celebration in which Kelly Slater-adjacent surfers dress as jolly ol’ Saint Nick and paddle into the ocean for to make surfing.

More and more news outlets cover the affair each year and, today, the business rivals the Catholic Church for space in the headlines.

The BBC, an entirely respected institution, released its annual wrap, late last night, declaring,“Midnight Mass and surfing Santas: Pictures of Christmas around the world.”

Surfing Santas never so honored or esteemed.

Revered.

Oh.

I just looked at the picture and the Surfing Santa was not Floridian but there in Bondi, Australia.

Do you think rage percolating in the Sunshine State or do you think Surfing Santas all equally satisfied with world domination?

Whatever the case, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Summer snow!

Australian surfers are rejoicing, this morning, even if they were disappointed by what they found under the tree. Wives, husbands, mothers and fathers sometimes certainly blow gift giving, not paying close attention to wants and needs, lazily purchasing a new steak knife set, say, or a tie.

No matter this year, though, as literal blow has washed up on New South Wales’ many surf rich beaches. Seven packages, all told, floated to Manly, Avoca and Magenta.

“Local police attended and removed the barnacle-covered item, which was sent for further examination and testing,” authorities wrote in a press release.

That testing revealed cocaine.

Police have warned surfers not to open the packages though do you think they will listen?

That’s a trick question. Of course they will not. Australia’s surfers, especially of the New South Wales variety, are known to be engaged in a long love affair with “toot.”

(Buy here for Christmas).

Those who find cocaine are urged to call 000 right away.

And/or the Bondi Board Riders club.

Joy to the world!

Merry Christmas, or eve depending on when and where you are reading, to one and all on this glorious day. But how are you spending it? With loved ones cuddled together by a warm fire? Maybe a little dawn patrol with da boyz? Are there traditions in your home or are you a li’l bit grinchy?

Whatever the case, Mark Richards will certainly bring cheer to your heart as, just look at him, transformed into a life sized Elf on the Shelf.

Pure magic!

The Elf on the Shelf is, of course, a modern miracle bringing joy and terror to children around the world. If you are unaware, the Elf on the Shelf comes to the house in the start of December in order to spy on everyone then report back to Santa on behaviors. Much like North Korea security services. Or Mark Zuckerberg. He moves to a new place in the home the next morning, the children find him and the whole charade is repeated and repeated until Christmas morning.

Richards, anyhow, does the little narc proud and now you have happiness in your soul.

Jingle bells!