Summer snow!

Australian surfers are rejoicing, this morning, even if they were disappointed by what they found under the tree. Wives, husbands, mothers and fathers sometimes certainly blow gift giving, not paying close attention to wants and needs, lazily purchasing a new steak knife set, say, or a tie.

No matter this year, though, as literal blow has washed up on New South Wales’ many surf rich beaches. Seven packages, all told, floated to Manly, Avoca and Magenta.

“Local police attended and removed the barnacle-covered item, which was sent for further examination and testing,” authorities wrote in a press release.

That testing revealed cocaine.

Police have warned surfers not to open the packages though do you think they will listen?

That’s a trick question. Of course they will not. Australia’s surfers, especially of the New South Wales variety, are known to be engaged in a long love affair with “toot.”

(Buy here for Christmas).

Those who find cocaine are urged to call 000 right away.

And/or the Bondi Board Riders club.

Joy to the world!

Merry Christmas, or eve depending on when and where you are reading, to one and all on this glorious day. But how are you spending it? With loved ones cuddled together by a warm fire? Maybe a little dawn patrol with da boyz? Are there traditions in your home or are you a li’l bit grinchy?

Whatever the case, Mark Richards will certainly bring cheer to your heart as, just look at him, transformed into a life sized Elf on the Shelf.

Pure magic!

The Elf on the Shelf is, of course, a modern miracle bringing joy and terror to children around the world. If you are unaware, the Elf on the Shelf comes to the house in the start of December in order to spy on everyone then report back to Santa on behaviors. Much like North Korea security services. Or Mark Zuckerberg. He moves to a new place in the home the next morning, the children find him and the whole charade is repeated and repeated until Christmas morning.

Richards, anyhow, does the little narc proud and now you have happiness in your soul.

Jingle bells!

Women's History Month gone too!

Huntington Beach, California, there in the coastal heart of Orange County, is a surfing treasure. Officially nicknamed “Surf City, USA” after beating rival Santa Cruz in the courts, the town hosts the annual U.S. Open of Surfing as well as semiannual surf-induced riots. Mega big surf shop Huntington Surf and Sport is right across the street from mega big surf shop Jacks with Rockin’ Fig is tucked up there somewhere. Huntington Beach is home to the Surfing Walk of Fame, living surfing legend, plus US Olympic surf team coach, Brett Simpson and the offices of surf forecasting juggernaut Surfline.

All very cool but, lately, the municipality has made more news for its politics than its gorgeous mushburgers. No rainbow flags are allowed to fly, for example, and I would imagine libraries are forbidden from hosting transexual reading hours.

Hate crimes don’t exist in Huntington Beach either.

Not satisfied with smacking the LGBTQ+ community around, the city council, days ago, passed a resolution that would officially cancel Black History Month.

Women’s History Month too.

Pride Month, obviously, burned with a propane torch.

Etc.

Except for the recognition of the Holocaust in January which was mercifully preserved by Mayor Gracey Van Der Mark.

The stated reason for the move was to celebrate uniquely Huntington Beach moments. “I’ve been amazed to learn just how much of our rich history I was unaware of,” Councilman Casey McKeon from the dais on Tuesday night’s meeting. ​“We wanted to focus on 12 themes a year instead of dozens to help city staff get on the same page.”

One proposed theme is “Black Gold Jubilee” which will celebrate the discovery of oil offshore.

Another should be “Kanoa Igarashi is a Traitor Becasuse Even Though He Was Born and Raised in Huntington Beach He Surfs For Japan and Lives in Portugal Bacchanal” wherein effigies of the Olympic silver medalist are burned.

A report was released reading, “All monthly themes hosted by the City must be included in this approved twelve-month program and will therefore repeal and supersede all such monthly themes/celebrations previously approved by Council.”

Shockingly not everyone was on board. Councilman Dan Kalmick declared it seemed like a 4th grade school project. Councilwoman Rhonda Bolton wondered, “Why does it have to be either the proposed calendar or the existing commemorations?The fact that those are being left out of this proposal says something. That sends a message to the community.”

Still, the haters were in the minority and Huntington Beach will move forward with its beautiful recognition of “Chop Hop Appreciation Day.”

Can’t wait to celebrate.