Candy haired son of cuck Will Smith new face of surf!
In the latest episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing, the author of Cocaine and Surfing and Welcome to Paradise, Now Beat it Haole Kook, posits on the new-look world of professional surfing, which includes candy haired minstrel Jaden Smith.
(Despite same last name and similarity in appearance, no relation.)
There was once a time, and not long ago, when parents who observed a flash of water talent in their young charges could easily imagine a gilded future just over the horizon. Watching, say, their little seven or eight year snag a pocket barrel, maybe even little air revo, and boom. A straight path to sponsorship riches. Incentives. Film and travel budgets.
Alas, that time not long ago but, also, an entirely different era. The surf fan has observed top-level World Surf League Championship Tour talent showing up to events with sticker-less noses. She has watched as the last remaining mega-brand, Authentic Brands Group x Bluestar Alliance, flexed its monopoly muscles and shredded contracts.
Things are, indeed, as bleak as they appear for our heroes and heroines. An industry insider with direct working knowledge of such matters informed me, yesterday, “I am seeing good money is now 25% of what it was for the elite of elite. Everyone else it’s zero.”
Bleak? No!
Jaden Smith, the progeny of fist-swinging cuck Will Smith, will save pro surfing!
Watch, listen, agree!
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Nice to see Chas defending pro surfing for once, especially considering this financial decline of surfing civilization could actually affect his own $$$. Agents must be feeling it too.
Been slapped by Dad much?practice dummyhttps://cdn.wegow.com/media…
yeah. Agate Beach. Would hate surfing that place too.
Where there’s a Will
there’s a wave
that Jaden slaps on the face.
Chris’ kid rocks. Dad uses Selective Outrage and takes one for team Jada. SLAP.
Lets make surfing great again!
Bet John quits the tour as soon as his baby is born in a few months.
guy’s kitchen…use a kit cat bar, grapefruit and a jalapeno into a cosmopolitan~drink~
Smith maybe Cock, cuck and Kook ?
Why does professional surfing have to have a future ?
Swings and roundabouts Ramjet. The future is unavoidable.
it’s about time.
Wouldn’t miss very many of them. Caity Sim and Medina the exceptions.
P.S It’s Jordy’s year I can feel it. Start of the tour tradition.
to not re-qualify? I could see that.
Almost full circle.
John Watersports.
Chas, with a pencil mustache like John Waters, hence John Watersports.
Do I have to explain everything to you people before you realize stone cold brilliance and upvote twice?
Jeez.
GoVoteFundMe
Pushing 50 and vlogging about Jaden Smith…..what went wrong Chas?
Pushing 50 and reading about someone vlogging about Jaden Smith is probably worse.
All of us here should be ashamed of ourselves in many respects. Fortunately, BG and its commentariat is an avenue to avoid coming to grips with those inconvenient truths.
haha, you’re a cunt
many wigs in your wife’s closet…and chocolates…she;s ur god mother~
Exactly.
Everyone here knows that proper BG protocol is to skip the article entirely and scroll straight down to the comment section.
It’s his nephew, no?
Looks sharper.