World holds breath as Meta investors warned Mark Zuckerberg’s love of surfing, cage fighting, could kill him

Danger dog.

Days ago, the two-time** world surfing champ Filipe Toledo shocked even his biggest detractors by failing, yet again, to give an effort in scary waves breaking over shallow reef. The “Pipeline Poltroon” demonstrated a sort of fear, of cowardice, not seen since Mr. Pink in 1992’s Reservoir Dogs. The sort, likely, Meta’s board wished its leader, one Mark Zuckerberg, would harness.

The social media juggernaut previously known as Facebook is, currently, riding high after a rough few years. Profits well up, minds, both young and old, poisoned with even greater effectiveness. The only potential problem on the horizon, though, is the aforementioned Zuckerberg’s “participation in high-risk activities” which very much includes his brave and bold big wave surfing.

And you certainly recall when the world’s fifth richest man sat down across from Lex Friedman and declared, “I, uh, train hard. So if I’m gonna go out in a 15-foot wave then I’ll make sure we have the right safety gear, make sure I’m used to that spot and all that stuff.”

Well, in its latest Security and Exchange Commission filing, Meta declared Zuckerberg’s big ol’ balls to be troublesome.

We currently depend on the continued services and performance of our key personnel, including Mark Zuckerberg,” it read. “Mr. Zuckerberg and certain other members of management participate in various high-risk activities, such as combat sports, extreme sports, and recreational aviation, which carry the risk of serious injury and death.”

Yikes.

Now, Zuckerberg is widely known to pal up with various “extreme” bros. You know of his affair with Kai Lenny who described the 5’6″ 39 year-old as “super cool, super into water sport, really active. Super fit. Like … strong, strong strong. Physically strong.” Lenny was soon dumped for mixed-martial artist Khai “The Shadow” Wu and others but do you think Meta’s board will attempt to insert Filipe Toledo into Zuckerberg’s friend group?

A little overabundance of caution inoculation?

It would be wise.

Read the entire filing here.