Paul Fisher NSFW.
Paul Fisher NSFW.

World Surf League in major damage control after famed DJ Paul Fisher rides NSFW board on live broadcast

Chas Smith

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"WHAT IS THAT?"

If there is one personality all surfers can agree to be tip top, it is DJ Paul Fisher. The Gold Coast native, who tried his early hand at various Qualifying Serieses, soon pivoted to interviewing his pals with a NSFW microphone, causing a ruckus and generally bringing a libertine flair to the otherwise extremely conservative professional surfing.

He, of course, went on to much fame and fortune as a world-famous turntable maestro while professional surfing became further backwatered, snarling and sick, insisting on squeezing out any remaining flavor. Jessi Miley-Dyering it to death.

You can imagine the horror, then, when Fisher hopped on the sled and motored into the lineup of the currently running Bonsoy Gold Coast Pro during the live broadcast, for the “Fisher & Friends Freesurf” holding… a NSFW surfboard.

He proceeded to rip the iconic craft, introduced almost twenty years ago with the help of Kai Otton.

It must be assumed that calls are flooding the World Surf League’s veterinarian offices. Angry parents demanding apologies or more. Maybe banishment from the airwaves? The demotion of the aforementioned Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer who did, actually, just get demoted back to Commissioner?

Surf fans, meanwhile, overjoyed.

You can too!

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Coffs Harbour stabbing
Police forensics and dead surfer's board.

Young Aussie surfer dead after being stabbed in beach carpark; alleged killer still on run

Derek Rielly

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"All I could see was his black legs in his wetsuit. I just thought it was another guy on his phone."

A young surfer is dead after being stabbed in the neck in a Coffs Harbour beach car park minutes after wrapping up a pre-work surf yesterday. 

The twenty-two-year-old surfer and stone mason was found suffering multiple stab wounds beside an orange sedan just before seven am and taken to hospital where he died. 

A BeachGrit source from the area reckons a pal of his drove past the kid “but thought he was bending down to dry off.” 

A local homeless man told local news he saw the surfer drive into the carpark at six.

‘This guy’s been coming about six o clock, last three or four days, putting on a wetsuit and going surfing even when it’s flat./ Likes to get wet, I guess. I just saw him drive in… did some stretching, came back, and it looked like he was sitting down on the ground against his driver’s door. All I could see was his black legs in his wetsuit. I just thought it was another guy on his phone.”

Coffs Harbour mayor Paul Amos described the attack as “random” adding, “I like other people in Coffs Harbour do the early morning swim, have the early morning walk along the beach … and some poor person has decided to do just that and for some random reason this event has occurred.”

Yeah, it ain’t that big a surprise. 

One of the darker secrets of the supposed milk-and-honey run from Sydney to Byron is how soaked so many of these supposedly happy holiday hamlets are in meth and its various cuz’s, its mesmeric pull and fascination swallowing so many souls, as well as the accompanying gun-wielding outlaw motorbike gangs and a general gangster mentality. 

Sharks, too. 

A crime scene has been set-up and the cops are looking for the alleged killer who, if rumours are to be believed, is a homeless ice head.

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Open Thread: Comment Live on Day 5 of the Bonsoy Gold Coast Pro

Chas Smith

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Drink up, kids.

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Australian brothers Callum and Jake Robinson and American friend Jack Carter Rhoad (pictured) in Mexico.
Australian brothers Callum and Jake Robinson and American friend Jack Carter Rhoad (pictured) in Mexico.

Australian brothers vanish on Baja Mexico surf trip

Chas Smith

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"When we do send our young men and women overseas to enjoy that adventure holiday, they invite an element of risk."

The parents of Callum and Jake Robinson are pleading with the public, today, for any information on their two sons’ whereabouts after they vanished on a Baja surf trip. The two, who are both in their 30s and from Perth, had traveled to California, driving into Mexico, at the end of April. They were last seen surfing and camping near Ensenada and did not arrive at their planned rental in Rosarito, just north.

Mother, Debra Robinson, took to social media in order to find any details. “They have not contacted us since April 27 … they are travelling with another friend; an American citizen,” she wrote, adding, “Callum is a Type 1 diabetic so there is also a medical concern. We sincerely appreciate everyone’s concern and thoughts at this time. We continue to have hope that our two beautiful boys are found.”

It has been reported that a woman, 25, was found with one of the missing men’s cellphones and also carrying drugs. She was subsequently arrested and turned over to the state prosecutor.

The Western Australia premier Roger Cook said he was monitoring the situation and very distressed. “This must be very worrying for the families involved,” he shared. “When we do send our young men and women overseas to enjoy that adventure holiday, they invite an element of risk. I understand one of the individuals has a medical condition that would need ongoing care. I share [the] concerns of all Western Australians in terms of their welfare.”

Mexico, of course, has its share of security concerns with the ongoing cartel wars. Baja California Sur and Baja California are, unfortunately, among the states with the highest homicide rates.

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Kelly Slater. Great.
Kelly Slater. Great.

Petition circulates demanding “saint” Kelly Slater be allowed to surf the Olympics

Chas Smith

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"I encourage you to find other things you care about within change.org once you’ve signed this."

Kelly Slater’s twenty-seventh annual retirement tour is only just getting underway and it has already been one of the greatest in recent memory. From the outpouring of affection for the 11 x surf champion to the wildcards he has been gifted which will allow him to retire next year again, the mise-en-scene has been nothing short of spectacular.

Well, when it rains it pours and things are getting better. Overnight, a petition began circulating demanding that the greatest to ever wear a professional surfing singlet be allowed to compete in this summer’s Olympiad. Righting a wrong.

New Zealander Paul Whitaker, taking to change.org, writes:

Kia ora/hi

First up, this isn’t about addressing injustice or anything like and death. This is about making this year’s Olympics as interesting and enjoyable as possible from a surfer’s perspective and about giving something back to the G.O.A.T. I encourage you to find other things you care about within change.org once you’ve signed this.

Kelly Slater is the greatest competitive surfer of all time. You can find a brief bio about him on the Olympics website. The vast majority of surfers and surfing fans would love to see Kelly Slater surfing @ Teahupoo in this year’s Olympic games. This includes other competitors – they’d either love to compete against him because doing so, in Tahiti is likely to be the highlight of their competitive surfing career…or, if they don’t want to surf against him it’s probably because they know he could beat them.

Kelly hasn’t qualified via standard processes but it might not be too late for the International Olympics Committee to adjust entry criteria to accommodate him. Some may feel this wouldn’t be fair to others. On the flipside – if the Olympics exist in order to showcase the best talent in any given arena I feel allowing Slater to surf in this year’s games would allow the committee to show they know how to achieve their goal. Please sign if you agree.

Well, do you?

Please sign anyhow.

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EAT BEACHGRIT SPAM!
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