East Coast surfers giddy with anticipation for “ritualistic opening of the Atlantic” by parading mermaids

"Let them SURF!"

I am currently in New York City on the brink of an intense ballet summer and it is very hot. A heat dome has descended driving temperatures up near 100 and the natives mad. Reports of men running wild with knives, warnings of rolling brownouts, general hysteria.

None of them, apparently, have visited Djibouti where the aforementioned are all daily occurrences, year ’round, except the temperatures are up past 120 also year ’round.

Well, relief is in sight for east coast surfers who can hardly wait as the “ritualistic opening of the Atlantic Ocean” occurs tomorrow all thanks to cosplay mermaids and mermen.

Per The New York Times:

It is time for an extravaganza on Coney Island that is hip, tacky and wacky. Hundreds of mermaids — sequined and finned — will splish-splash their way down Surf Avenue in the annual Mermaid Parade on Saturday.

“The Mermaid Parade is as New York as it gets,” said Adam Rinn, the artistic director of Coney Island U.S.A., the nonprofit organization that runs the parade.

Daniel Murphy, the executive director of the Alliance for Coney Island, which represents neighborhood businesses and will have a float in the parade, said the spectacle is “the most conveniently located parade for a hot June day.” It will end with the ritualistic “opening” of the Atlantic Ocean by the king and queen of the parade.

I asked: If you had to describe the Mermaid Parade to a Martian who had just landed and had no idea what it was all about, what would you say?

This was his answer: “Do you remember ‘Abbott and Costello Go to Mars’?” I didn’t, so he provided the briefest of synopses: “Abbott and Costello end up at a Mardi Gras parade. The Mermaid Parade is exactly that.”

East Coast surfers care much less about the hip, tacky and wacky than they do about actually getting to surf legally. The Rockaways are currently running 2 – 3 ft, according to Surfline, and I’d imagine the sands are filled with the waxed n’ ready just waiting for the King and Queen of the Mermaid Parade to wave their tridents over the waters and declare them open.

Huzzah!