Autumnal fun.
Fatherhood is just around the corner for the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater. The 11x champion and his longtime girlfriend, Kalani Miller, announced, months ago, that they were going to have a little baby boy. It is, of course, the second go around for Slater though questions remain as to his involvement in raising his daughter Taylor.
Bygones be bygones, though, and Slater was just filmed strapped with baby, carving, barreling, even airing at his Surf Ranch.
Practice, as they say.
Now, it must be assumed that the baby is false but the joy of watching an older father-to-be really leaning into his role, this time around, is inspiring.
Like Robert Di Nero and Al Pacino.
Autumnal fun.
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My son used to play sax.
I wonder what he’d make of that?
Dump haha… that is actually very sad though
On another note how many people you reckon know sally Fitz is a pro surfer in those shed adds?
Flog
Geez get it off your chest Kelly !
I hope he names the child Robb. The opportunities for sitcom style late 90s pro surfer comedy confusion are endless.
LOL, I hope that’s true. But still, unfortunately, it’s totally reasonable to think Kelly would do something poorly reasoned like that.
I desperately do want that Vaughn Blakey version of Kelly Slater back from Doped Youth. Where Slater could poke fun at himself. Where he could play into the douchey archetypes that often accompany ultra competitive people like himself. Just for the hell of it.
Or even that Jack Johnson version of Kelly Slater from Thicker than Water, where Kelly stays grounded by working on a guitar at the Johnson’s house the night before winning a World Title. Jacks version of Kelly, where Kelly’s a humble prodigy and the World just goes crazy with its need to give him attention.
I like those older versions of Slater so much more than Kelly’s version of Kelly Slater. The version where he’s competing with algorithms and influencers to stay awkwardly relevant by pushing his way through the crowd to post up on our screens. As if his very existence depends on it.
If that “stunting baby” stunt was a joke, and Kelly is legitimately toying with the disappointing caricature of himself he’s become. Than my god, he might just win me back! Please be true!!!!!! He might not be the perfect GOAT, but he’s our GOAT gosh darn it!!!
Still think Slater’s a kook……
Nice!
Hell yes! Hey Ke11y, you weren’t the first! A Scorpion Bay baby barrel sounds f$&king epic! That little bit of appropriate tension with your “not enthused” Mom was totally warranted and makes the entire scenario so much more palatable. If Slater’s newborn baby’s media team had just panned to a shot of Kalani rolling her eye’s and shaking her head in disapproval, Kelly might knocked this one out of the Ranch. But nope, his son’s very first viral moment just feels like a bizarre wif by another narcissistic parent.
Even chas doesn’t read the Grit, just goes straight to the comments
Derek Rielly accurately describes this mess up as “Christmas at divorced houses!”
Merry Juneteenth!
If you’re going to do this, do it properly…
https://youtu.be/uCQALZ0MiH…
This is the best piece of online content with Slater in it since he did that Alley oop in Portugal like 10 years ago.
Kalani said she couldn’t travel with an infant all year with him on tour, so he shamed her by surfing heats with the baby as a handicap.
Inquiring minds want to know if Sasha Jane will participate in this event or will she be barred?
Derek will demand that Ethan is there too.
Gotta test out that new OK Get Barreled Baby Bjorn with the inflatable ejection pull string. Looks promising!
Just a reminder of what Kelly’s daughter said 2 months ago…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
P.S.
If he surfs in this jerky style with the real baby he risks getting puked on.
He might have to go straight on a longboard till it gets its sea legs…
That is a classic Mr Beef
He should just bring her some bone broth
goddamn
Fuck up Tyler ya sour cunt
If she’s that resentful, why use the ‘slater’ surname.
Anyway. Back to not surfing and doom scrolling.
This guy is smarter than 99% of the doctors he knows…including his pediatrician. Gator Slater destined to be unvaccinated and home schooled.
When are you guys going to do an article on Slater surfing with a baby? Blowing it.
Twins
I had to look back to Dez’s write up and make sure I wasn’t losing my mind as bad as all the idiots that think this is a real baby.
Dignity is a thing of the past