"He did the right thing."
Over two weeks ago, now, a message popped into my feed that was “very cool” to quote Joe Turpel. A trusted source, you see, had just seen surf great Kelly Slater’s longtime girlfriend, Kalani Miller, sitting out front the couple’s North Shore Oahu home looking very clearly with child. The vital information was even fact checked, in real time, as the eyewitness asked a companion with more experience with such things.
Double confirmed. Secret li’l baby bump.
And here we had it, the scoop of the early 2024 World Surf League Championship Tour season. The greatest of all-time giving fatherhood a second go. The earth to be re-blessed with fine DNA.
It would, for sure, be a banger of an expose bolstering BeachGrit‘s healthy reputation as “the first name in news” and “fair and balanced” though right when I was about to throw headline and dig into the work of The People™ paused.
How would Slater and Miller want the information broadcast? Leading an ultra hard surf candy day is an honor, no doubt, but the look/feel the couple was going for?
Hmmmm.
After much consideration, I thought, “They would probably like to handle the announcement themselves,” and went on introduce the surf reading public to Lighting rod former Huntington Beach planning commissioner Michael Hoskinson.
As the days ticked by, Slater ditching Portugal yet traveling to Australia’s Gold Coast in order to score good waves, I wondered how the couple was doing? The 11x surf champion FaceTiming home and keeping up to date on doctor visits etc.? The gorgeous glow of anticipation settling in normally and naturally without added scrutiny?
A happy season?
I hoped so.
And yesterday, when the common-law duo took to social media with stunning black and white photos set to Ben Harper’s The Three of Us, I knew I did the right thing.
My announcement would have been full bleed color including this image…
…and no Ben Harper but, rather, Three Imaginary Boys by The Cure.
To each his own, at the end.
Congrats to Kellani.
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Kelly’s such a with it dude, wonder if he ever thinks about his carbon footprint by zapping round the world daily for the next surf …na guess not..
Or you could just ask Kalani and Kelly about it
Chris Cote and Joe Turpel are never seen at the same time. Coincidence?
Thank fk for that, one is enough…
Prenatal Grit
He sounded like a really present Father before.
Inspired many of us.
Raising a child while living in airport lounges is really the special way to build a nuclear family.
Excited to see and maybe they can do a YT channel like Alana and Jack and we can learning about his Papaya super food diet and TRT use?
Access journalism
Salema might not be answering the phone on this one. Time will tell…
if you don’t toot your own horn, someone else may, who’s horn is out of tune.
You’ve changed man.
And it’s fine. I’m glad. I don’t even mind the self-fluffing going on here
commendable
…and may I say the placement of your image on Kalani’s belly and Kelly’s butt is sensational, although I am a bit concerned about where your right hand is.
He may be 11x World Champ, but you, sir, are The People’s Champ. We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.
Naming their kid Chas would be a fitting “thank you”, I think.
Especially if its a girl…
“Kellani” … nice.
I’ll be whipping that up for the next article.
Praised by who exactly chas?
Just some people.
Aka your conscience.
Rubes.
True insiders know that if a surf-adjacent bear defecates in a surf-adjacent woodland and Chas wasn’t there to take a stool sample, it didn’t happen.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
good Quiz night question – “what were the 3 household objects on the cover etc etc…”
“industry insiders”
Nah mate, ya blew it by not breaking the news.
And if your secret informant had supplied photos it could’ve propelled BG into full international gossip mag status.
A billboard would’ve been effective too.
It’s not as if Kelly’s gonna unblock you anyway…
Chas et al clearly reconsidering their prior strident rejection of the whole “access journalism” ethos as practiced over at STAB. Meanwhile, STAB rips on the WSL for falsely claiming credit for the advances in women’s surfing. The world is upside down (again).
To be honest, Derek spiked the scoop due lack of photo.
ugh kelly and filipe were about to write a bunch of shit about you, your wife and daughter on the internet and then they didnt
Occam’s Razor would indicate that the most likely explanation for this is that Kelly and Kalani have been planning for this for awhile, and that this is going to be a new, happy chapter in both of their lives.
But I’d like to think this is just Kelly being Kelly.
He’s heard the stuff Chas and Derek have said about him being an absentee father, it lit a competitive fire in him, and he’s knocked up Kalani just to try to prove that he can be Father of the Year 11 times over.
and/or, he just didn’t see any avenue for him retiring with dignity absent something like this where he can tell himself that he could have surfed on tour until age 70, but he instead chose to have another kid and actually be around to raise the kid this time
Hail Gracie Slater!
Destined to Arm Bar the world!
Except in Brazil*
*And most likely Portugal
Class Act Chas!
Honorable, but might you have also taken into consideration that that unborn child of Kelly already has an Instagram account, and would have most certainly blocked you.
this kid is going to grow up on the north shore in surfing’s Olympic era, with Jackson Dorian as his god-sibling, Shane D (or maybe Belly?) as his godfather, and KS11 as a parent — the pressure to perform will be immense, so of course the only natural thing will be for him or her to turn a cold shoulder to the surf and get into something a little off brand, like ballet or pickleball.
Ballet? We can only hope for that. Just imagine the possibilities. Kelly, unable to dissuade the child, embraces the his role as ballet-Dad. Kelly ends up playing the role of Mother Ginger in his child’s ballet school performance. And guess who Kelly ends up reaching out to for advice? Chas
https://beachgrit.com/2021/…
The ultimate ‘more as the story develops’!
Lost me as soon as turdell was mentioned..
Gawd help us if he/she doesn’t become a musician. Can you imagine The Surfers 2.0? Worldwide ear bleeding.
Dark times. Thankfully my hearing will be shot by then.
I hope they become a hardcore boogie boarder
Well a pilot’s out seeing as tho the earth’s flat, so maybe a skipper on an atomic sub or might completely rebel and become a hermit…