"Over night in ICU, still in here. In the end four broken ribs and multiple broken Transverse processors little bones at base of spine. Lucky for the blue button (strong pain relief).”

Epidemic of life-altering surf injuries continues as star airlifted to hospital with spinal injuries following horror wipeout, “Not the helicopter ride I was looking for”

"Got washed in and couldn’t walk up beach. Had to crawl for 20 minutes as had to go so slow as pain was intense."

Until very recently, surfing was as extreme as a twilight sail around a man-made lake, the most common injury a protruding gut from all the post-surf beers.

Now that waves that were hitherto deemed insurfable are ridden by everyone from children to the aged, well, the old saying ‘you play you pay’ has never been more prophetic.

One week ago, BeachGrit placed a call through to the ICU room of the shaper and former pro Dylan Longbottom who was gifted a front-row seat to his mortality after being driven chest-first into a limestone pinnacle at a wave he described as the heaviest in Australia.

“I got impaled on a limestone pinnacle,” said Dylan. “It’s not flat there, it’s like Pipeline. I landed right on my chest and, through my impact suit, I blew out my ribcage and punctured my lung… I was sent straight to the trauma ward, my ribs were badly broken like in a car crash, and tubes were put in my lungs to drain ’em. One lung was partially collapsed, the other wasn’t working. Doc said I was lucky to survive the flight ’cause of the pressure. I could’ve gone into cardiac arrest.”

In April, teenager Harry Hollmer-Cross, son of big-wave legend James Hollmer-Cross, hit the bottom at Shipstern Bluff, was knocked unconscious and “rag dolled down the point under water though all the rocks.”

James found his kid face down and not breathing, dragged him onto the jetski, and took him to a nearby boat where he and a pal took turns hitting the kid with CPR until he drew breath. An emergency chopper got Haz to Royal Hobart hospital.

“As soon as I got the breaths in, I knew straight away that his body was reacting to that,” James told ABC. “That’s the scariest thing, I think … basically you’re bringing them back, aren’t you? They’ve crossed over for a little bit there. It’s your worst nightmare, especially as a parent. I’m just thankful I was there.”

And, six months ago, the sexy powerlifter turned Only Fans star Nathan Florence was rushed to hospital by Kai Lenny after a wipeout during a twenty-foot day at Jaws that snapped a vertebrae in his spine.

Yesterday it was the turn of New Zealand’s Max Quinn, a wildly smooth, if lanky, talent, who became that country’s first CT surfer in 2001. Max was surfing one of New Zealand’s heaviest waves, a ledge where even our dear Negatron reports “Paddled out, pulled back on five in a row, got pitched, then just retreated and sat on the shoulder and hooted as Maz and three others got some of the best tubes I’ve ever seen in NZ.”

As Maz tells it,

“Not the helicopter ride I was looking for,” Max, who is forty-six, wrote from ICU. “Had a fall on a solid wave in Mahia yesterday which picked me up and drove me into the rocky ledge bottom. Was the first wave of a set so no one saw what happened. Got washed in and couldn’t walk up beach. Had to crawl for 20 minutes as had to go so slow as pain was intense. Luckily a guy Pat saw me came to help and even luckier an off duty paramedic was in the car park. At first they thought it was my pelvis so they called the Rescue Helicopter from Gisborne. Over night in ICU, still in here. In the end four broken ribs and multiple broken Transverse processors little bones at base of spine. Lucky for the blue button (strong pain relief).”


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Maz Quinn (@maz_quinn)

Maz, happy to still be able to operate his pedals and continue life as a biped, said the episode has taught him something real important.

“Good lesson no matter how comfortable you are surfing a wave, always have to be extremely mindful.”


Fears for iconic G-Land coral reef as fishing boat runs aground in fog, killing one crew member

Photos and drone video reveal the doomed Sumber Blessing high and dry near the famous surf spot.

A photographer from Joyo’s Surf Camp at Grajagan, that long lefthander in Indonesia made famous by the movie Storm Riders in 1982, as an intermittent tour event as well as the various mysteries surrounding its position in the drug trafficking trade, has captured wild drone footage of a fishing boat after it ran aground near G-Land last Saturday. 

Harry Pieters, who has been shooting in the camp since 2010, writes 

“The fishing boat Sumber Blessing ran aground in Alas Purwo waters on Saturday at one am. It is suspected that the ship hit a reef because it was swept away by big waves in thick fog. The ship departs from Pekalongan after finishing fishing for tuna weighing a total of 80 tons, the ship will head to Tanjung Wangi Port, Banyuwangi for loading and unloading. In this incident one crew member died and 29 other crew members survived.”


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by (@harrypieters)


Photos and video from Petiers, and other G-Land camp photographers, reveal the Sumber Blessing high and dry on the famous reef.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Donny Lopez G-Land (@donnylopez949)


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by (@harrypieters)

If you’re into the G-Land legend you may have already bought the drug-soaked tell-all book released last October, Grajagan –Surfing in the Tiger’s Lair: 1972-1984.

It takes the reader back into the magical world of secret waves, the smuggling of drugs to generate the money to chase these waves, and the spectre of death and madness that seemed to lurk around every corner.

“I hoped Grajagan would remain pristine. I thought visitors should come in by boat and leave no trace, like we did loading and offloading marijuana,” was one instructive quote.

G-Land is a mysterious place that brings out equally mysterious behaviour in even the most placid surfer. Isolation, boredom, the usual drivers.

You’ll remember, one year ago almost to the day, when the G-Land Pro, dogged by a poor swell forecast, descended into a wild bacchanal.

I found the vision that appeared on social media accounts of the good times heartening, Stephanie Gilmore and Gabriel Medina moving with precise and vigorous grace, Filipe Toledo weightless with joy at the spectre of a finals day in small waves and Kolohe Andino looking as worn as a well-thumbed volume filled with illustrated examples of human sex organ deformities.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Ryan Miller (@badboyryry_)

Good times, although not quite on the level as the night in the 1990’s when Rob Bain, Barton Lynch and Gary Elkerton disappeared into the jungle, reappearing in the morning naked and carrying bamboo spears.


Surf fans pull hair from heads, engage in acts of self-harm as Major League Baseball officially “cooler” than World Surf League!

"What did we do to deserve?"

This iteration of professional surfing, known as the World Surf League, has been on an amazing slide to absurd irrelevance since its founding in 2015 circa 1976. Each Chief Executive made to look competent by the preceding CEO. Paul Speaker to Sophie Goldschmidt to Erik Logan to Jessi Miley-Dyer?

Wild times with the whole show, once bastions of rebels and Ritchie Collins now a silly circus wherein Logan openly courts his surfers whilst Joe Turpel and cast jibber-jabber such happy mush as if they were assistants in a classroom of mentally challenged preschoolers.

We, of course, the mentally challenged preschoolers.

And I suppose, if we choose to be myopic and dull, we’d imagine all professional sporting leagues do the same sorts of things. Treat their fans with open disdain, force a company line that bolsters “the product” while ignoring the truth but ho, turn your eyes to baseball and the ultra-staid Major Leagues and witness team-hired announcers calling their own manager “horrific.”

The New York Mets, if you follow, have been having a tough season. A new owner poured millions upon millions into the team at the beginning of the season leading to soaring expectations. Those have not been met, excuse the pun, the fans are revolting and the announcers are talking real talk.

After a recent loss, Gary Cohn, salary paid by Mets, declared, “The Mets 42nd loss of the year is their most horrific. Buck Showalter tried to stay away from his best relievers and the Mets paid the price.”

Baseball fans were overjoyed with the truth painted as truth.

“One of the reasons why the Mets broadcast crew is so fantastic is their aversion to sugar-coating what they see,” one wrote, adding, “Too many crews avoid the faults of the team they cover, usually with silence. Gary, Keith and Ron don’t insult their audience’s intelligence.”

“Painful to hear but true,” another wrote.

“Excellent announcing,” yet another.

Back to Turpel and pals, though.


What did we do to deserve?

New lineup terror emerges as flying fish impales surfer’s nose!

Wild times in the Mentawais.

How many ways can a surfer get hurt in the lineup? Let us count the ways. Shark, stingray, stray longboard, Erik Logan, aggressive local, adult learner paddling toward shoulder, adult learner going over the falls, Brazilians, angry seals, angry seagulls, surfboard fins, surfboard noses, jellyfish, aging, saltwater crocodiles, people from Florida, riptides, undertows, urchins, surf school students, sexism and now we can, officially, add flying fish.

But let us hustle to the beautiful Mentawi Islands where our hero, Australian Steve Kezic, was minding his own business, sitting on his board, when he felt a heavy slap.

Eddie Rothman?

But no.

“At first, I thought it was the boys throwing some seaweed around, as we tend to do that for a laugh,” the salt and pepper topped man told Perth Now. “But a moment later I realised there was a fish in my face.”

A flying fish who had wedged its beak in Zezic’s nose, busted it off and left it behind. A surf coach was the first to notice and sat looking dumbfounded as the ugly weapon had pierced all the way through. It took 15 minutes to get back to the resort and blood was pouring everywhere. No one knew where the nearest hospital was but, thankfully, one in the group was an emergency room doctor. He removed the weapon, stitched it up and told Zezic that 1/2 inch further north and he would have lost his eye.

“I was incredibly lucky. It felt like one of those up-to-the-gods chance events,” he said.

Now, the question for you. Would you rather get speared in the nose by a flying fish or sit around and wait for the World Surf League to get underway in Brazil for the Vivo Rio Pro in knee-high waves?

I’d take the former.

World Cursed League.

Deathbed-bound Kelly Slater miraculously recovers from fatal illness!

Fellow CT surfers who made the trip to Rio de Janeiro must certainly be buoyed seeing their GOAT the picture of health and wellness.

Days ago, surf fans had all but lost faith in a higher power after Kelly Slater had stunningly revealed that he had come down with a likely fatal illness right ahead of the Vivo Rio Pro surf contest in beautiful Brazil. 

“When my sickness started the other day,” the 11x champion wrote on his Instagram page, sharing a photo of oura ring data. “On day 5 of being sick now. Fevers, sinus, chills, headache, stomach flu, etc. Glad I made it home amidst the onslaught.”

Amateur virologists were certain Slater had been stricken with deadly spinal meningitis and encouraged surf fans to immediately light candles for his recovery. 

Alas, the Rio Pro kicked-off, World Surf League CEO Erik Logan there, inching closer to multiple restraining orders, but no world’s greatest competitive surfer. 

Was no one listening?

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the west and Kelly Slater has been spotted on the beach in Hawaii looking typically robust and dressed in a tight white “Pipeline Bodysurfing Contest” t-shirt from 2017, long shorts and with feet wrapped in his new turtle and moon inspired Klly sandals. 

“For the design of the sandal, Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales. Additional styles and sizing are set to release later this year.”

And I would have to think those fellow Championship Tour surfers who made the trip to Rio de Janeiro then Saquarema must certainly be buoyed seeing their GOAT the picture of health and wellness. They all had, of course, survived the dreaded mid-season cut and earned the requirement to appear. Slater had been gifted a never-before-encountered season-long wildcard and was even allowed to keep his points, unlike any before him. 

Spinal meningitis certainly a bitch. 

But all better now and just in time for J-Bay. 

Who could have scripted this?