New lineup terror emerges as flying fish impales surfer’s nose!

Wild times in the Mentawais.

How many ways can a surfer get hurt in the lineup? Let us count the ways. Shark, stingray, stray longboard, Erik Logan, aggressive local, adult learner paddling toward shoulder, adult learner going over the falls, Brazilians, angry seals, angry seagulls, surfboard fins, surfboard noses, jellyfish, aging, saltwater crocodiles, people from Florida, riptides, undertows, urchins, surf school students, sexism and now we can, officially, add flying fish.

But let us hustle to the beautiful Mentawi Islands where our hero, Australian Steve Kezic, was minding his own business, sitting on his board, when he felt a heavy slap.

Eddie Rothman?

But no.

“At first, I thought it was the boys throwing some seaweed around, as we tend to do that for a laugh,” the salt and pepper topped man told Perth Now. “But a moment later I realised there was a fish in my face.”

A flying fish who had wedged its beak in Zezic’s nose, busted it off and left it behind. A surf coach was the first to notice and sat looking dumbfounded as the ugly weapon had pierced all the way through. It took 15 minutes to get back to the resort and blood was pouring everywhere. No one knew where the nearest hospital was but, thankfully, one in the group was an emergency room doctor. He removed the weapon, stitched it up and told Zezic that 1/2 inch further north and he would have lost his eye.

“I was incredibly lucky. It felt like one of those up-to-the-gods chance events,” he said.

Now, the question for you. Would you rather get speared in the nose by a flying fish or sit around and wait for the World Surf League to get underway in Brazil for the Vivo Rio Pro in knee-high waves?

I’d take the former.

World Cursed League.