Deaf in one ear, loss of motor skill functions, head trauma, ongoing chest issues.

A nineteen-year-old surfer is real lucky his old boy, the big-wave legend James Hollmer-Cross, was watching him shred from the channel at Shipstern Bluff last Sunday. 

After Harry Hollmer-Cross wiped out and hit the bottom he was knocked unconscious and “rag dolled down the point under water though all the rocks.”

James found his kid face down and not breathing, dragged him onto the jetski, and took him to a nearby boat where he and a pal took turns hitting the kid with CPR until he drew breath. 

An emergency chopper got Haz to Royal Hobart hospital. 

“As soon as I got the breaths in, I knew straight away that his body was reacting to that,” James told ABC. “That’s the scariest thing, I think … basically you’re bringing them back, aren’t you? They’ve crossed over for a little bit there. It’s your worst nightmare, especially as a parent. I’m just thankful I was there.”

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A crowd-funding account has been set up for Haz, who’s still in hospital with “head trauma and ear damage”. Looks like he’s gonna need a hearing aid in the left speaker and he’s gonna have ongoing chest issues. 

“The concussion is looking at loss of motor skill functions and will also have muscle deterioration and away from work with out income and worst of all for him, no surfing, The road to recovery is going to be a slow process,” writes his pal Danny Griffiths, who set up the account. “The funds raised will go towards Harry’s rehabilitation, loss of income and medical costs and help get his life back on track. Lets get this young charger back in the ocean.” 

His Dad ain’t a stranger to existential wipeouts.

In 2014, after a wipeout at Pedra Branca, a wild open-sea zombie sixteen miles south of Tassie, he said, “It’s the heaviest thing that has ever happened to me. I thought I was going to die. I thought I’d broken my back. I almost passed out, but I fought it, and then I came through. It was pretty euphoric.”

Donate here. 

“Big wave surfing is like stepping into a ring with a monster,” says Lenny

The surfing phenomenon Kai Lenny, a daring multi-discipline surfer who has carved an oasis in the surfing world with guts and with blood, has been immortalised alongside the inspirational BIPOC stunt driver Dee Bryant and Euphoria star Sydney Sweeney in a new advertising campaign for Ford. 

Lenny is a twenty-nine-year-old married daddy with twin baby girls and is a long-time fan of the American icon, using their antiquated gas powered trucks to cart around his flotilla of jet skis and his myriad accessories, including paddle boards and kite surfing paraphernalia.  

“Big wave surfing is like stepping into a ring with a monster,” says Lenny, although if there’s even one squirt of testosterone left in your body, you’ll be here for the cameo of Ms Sweeney.

Her character in Euphoria, Cassie Howard, is a people pleaser, as they say, who “doesn’t know how to communicate without showing her body”.

Sweeney, whose “bosoms speak of butter, milk, carnal abundance and the firepower of hard-prowed gunboats”, wishes to enjoy the same erotic privileges as her male counterparts but is foiled by the usual male double-standards, the old he-stud/she-slut thing, and her inability to accept man’s sad and and maddening submission to the phallus, an organ that requires regular strangulation or at least a brisk tug, daily.

Same rules, same fun, roll a twenty into a thousand bucks, a board and a wetsuit.

Hello losers!

Following an unprecedented early season bloodbath, seventy-eight percent of you gone after three events, the long awaited Surfival “Second Chance” League is here.

What is the Second Chance league?

Same rules, same fun, same Surfival Gods.

Starts at Bells.

Here’s a couple FAQ’s for the first inaugural Second Chance League

Who can sign up?

Anybody can sign up (not just the losers). This includes the slackers, the nerds, the stoners, the heathens, and the pious. All the Surfival God’s ask is one entry per person.

Same Rules?

Oh yeah. Pick one surfer to advance. Can’t pick the same surfer twice. This will be a fresh start (doesn’t matter who you picked in OG Surfival League). Full rules, and there ain’t many, here. 

What’s the Prize?

We’re sending $1,000 American dollars, a Ho Stevie! wetsuit and one PANDA surfboard to the winner. Where else are you going to turn twenty bucks into a stack of cash and a fresh stick?

How Do I Sign Up?

Click here. Use your same login, pay and make your pick (do it early, you can always change).

What are people saying about the Surfival League?

“As a long-time, and moderately successful, fantasy surfer participant (WSL and Surfermag), I want to say this was more fun. I throughly enjoyed myself. Thanks for providing the format”

“This made watching the WSL way more fun”

“Haven’t watched a second of professional surfing since I was booted from the Surfival League”

Second Chance League memberships are $20.

Sign ups are closing soon.

Ready to go?

Click below.