Conservative creep (pictured) enjoying a bath in his new Byron Bay abode.
Conservative creep (pictured) enjoying a bath in his new Byron Bay abode.

Byron Bay nudists blame “conservative creep” after naked frisbee and surfing banned

"Byron Bay has always been comfortable with a certain degree of exposed flesh..."

The surprise ally-ship of surfers and nudists delighted all after the former came out in droves to support the latter after “herds of men in city clothing are coming to the beach, intimidating visitors, and filming naked women and children” in Canada. The two seemingly disparate groups showing a bitterly divided world how to love.

Tears, then, today in surfer households after Australian rich hippie paradise Byron Bay has moved to ban its only closing optional stretch of sand. The Guardian is reporting those headed to Tyagarah Beach will be forced into constricting wetsuits for surfing or swim trunks for frisbee playing as the New South Wales National Parks and Wildlife Service has officially criminalized nakedness.

The nudists tried to save the beach which has been a nudist haven since 1998 to no avail even though “Byron Bay has always been comfortable with a certain degree of exposed flesh. The region has one of the highest rates of skin cancer in the country but when the sun is out, people sunbathe topless or discretely skinny dip along its beaches. Every year a naked bike-ride runs through the centre of town and in March local paper the Echo ran uncensored images from the ride showing male genitalia on its front cover.”

Paul Fisher naked surfing too.

But all done now and who’s to blame?

A conservative creep.

Maxine Hawker who has enjoyed stripping down to skin for the last twenty plus years declared, “I am so shocked by it. I can’t believe Byron Bay would become so conservative. We have, as a people and a culture, become more conservative and I think that conservative creep has come to Byron.”

The conservative creep used to be satisfied with simply hanging out online. His move to Byron and subsequently getting everyone to put robes on an extremely disturbing development.

While surfers are encouraged to write local officials in protest etc., there is an air of defeat.

Draconian times.

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Cuntry Singer

Avoid seed oils too apparently makes us cunts get sunburnt. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Michael Flatlately

Speaking of keeping things under wraps, there’s a bloody Challenger Series event on. Who knew?

No Feelings

https://youtu.be/IDoklidKZV…

Then momma took me to Grammar school
I stepped up in the vestibule
Everytime that bell would ring
Catch me playing with my ding-a-ling-a-ling

Piskian
Andy C

So popping up from the dunes like a Meerkat for a cheeky rip is still permissible?

Hippy

Naked surfing is pretty cool minus the sex wax in the pubes.

The real issue is whether or not to sunscreen your a ss. You pretty much can’t if you intend to surf cause it ruins your sex wax. Best way to wait for waves is to do so underwater holding your rail.

If there is a current to fight, the clock is ticking on a sun burn.

But at night, no caution required.

Original formula, btw. I know you were asking yourself, what flavor does the Hip apply? Original formula.

Hippy

Public Service Announcement.

ValiantScorn

Well, I’m 100% in favor of banning surfing….for everybody else. But,…no naked frisbee?? This is a bridge TOO far!

No Feelings

Nude beaches make changing into a wetsuit a lot easier.

Happy Camper

is the person’s name actually “Conservative Creep“?
What kind of surname is Creep? is he Ommish, Liechtenstinian, German, Californian?

I have a wonderful story about the first day I surfed in the Basque in which I discovered the beach I was surfing was populated by a lot of naked folk.
I had gone surfing at around 8:00am and returned after about 3 hours to find three lovely Basque women with copper tone skin, glowing in the heat of the sun laying next to the towel and slippers that I had left on the beach.
….the rest of the story, I hold until Rocks writes it for me.

btw-the naked Germans playing frisbee were not so impressive, but dang they have some boobs.
Both women and men. Lots of jiggle in Deutschland.

ValiantScorn
Happy Camper

AH HA!
So, Mr. “Creep” is from England.
Leave it to the Brits to conquer Australian nudity.

First, they did it to the Aboriginals and now they’re doing it to the Byroniginals.
Inglorious Bastards.

Gil Gunderson

Nice grout.

Dogsnuts

“Closing optional”? So you can just get around with any orifice open?!
Sounds graphic!
Xox

Gil Gunderson

Keep that under your sarong xx

Dogsnuts

Only in Byron Bay could I imagine the practice of sunning the open aperture attracting specific law. Organic bumhole bleaching!
Xox

Gil Gunderson

Complimentary organic monkey shit coffee enema! Where do I sign up baby???

Michael Flatlately

Would that not be browning? Or does the bumhole skin operate in reverse in this aspect too?

Dogsnuts

Reverse osmosis!
Xox

deeks

instead of a spray tan gun ,what about an oxy torch. Blister up a few anal fissures !


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