Bonsoir, John John?
Last week, a third John John Florence professional surfing title seemed all but ordained. After two years of Filipe Toledo dominance, surf fans thrilled at the thought of a champion who is not terrified by bigger lefts. Some had even begun making commemorative plates in order to celebrate the day.
Conventional wisdom, and loud rumor, has Florence, 31, retiring at year’s end. A hat trick of trophies the storybook ending that surf fans need what with Kelly Slater refusing decorum and forcing everyone to watch him grow ancient on the world stage a la Joe Biden.
Sitting high atop the leaderboard, with only two events to go, the North Shore local would have only had to beat either Ethan Ewing, Jordy Smith, Jack Robinson or Griffin Colapinto one time in two tries at Lower Trestles and that would be that.
But then came the Rio Pro.
Italo Ferreira had gotten off to a clunky start at the season’s opening Pro Pipeline, bowing out in the first round. Poor results in Portugal, Bells and Maggie River had him counted out. He seemed off. Wacky. Then came wins in Tahiti and Brazil and boom.
Peaking.
A good performance in Cloudbreak, the final regular event of the season, could push Ferreira into the third, 0r even second, slot and surf fans now must assume that the title is very much in his grasp. Of all the surfers on tour, the 31-year-olds Red Bull fueled kinetic energy could easily bulldoze Florence’s more laconic stylings in San Clemente.
Attention will momentarily turn to the Olympics, of course, and whether Filipe Toledo will refuse to paddle in front of Colin Jost, bringing shame to an entire nation. Not being on the Brazilian team must irk Ferreira greatly, which could be put into the rage shaker and poured out upon Florence’s blonde head.
Wild times.
Wild times indeed.
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They cry as much as they claim.
Pretty cringe, these cunts making 500k a year to surf and get wanked off by everyone and having a cry?
Claiming on 4’s.
Crying is having to buy boards at retail. Crying is brazzo hair cut style. I could go on.
can appear on that Japanese influencing chicks vlog!!!
Dora and Italo are on a rampage, gonna kick the Cloudbreak door down.
Don’t remember a single result from ol EE…. how is he top 5? Very quiet season for the cutback to tail slider. Modern day Ross Williams.
I blame red bull. It’s like Italo has wings or something.
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It has never been “ordained” that JJF will win the title this year. How could it be?
FFS, Chas… for a supposed writer, you often display a very limited understanding of the English language.
Humor. Some people just will never have any.
The internet never forgets, and it says he has a 13th, 5th, 25th, 2nd, 25th, 13th, and 3rd at the famed cobblestones, with the last competition in 2017. I can’t recall seeing a single JJF wave at trestles. JJF is cooked no matter the opponent.
Don’t underestimate the judges daily criteria.
The worst he could do this time is a 2nd. Would that mean he’s improving?
Last CT JJF surfed at Trestles he looked ordained by the gods. I remember air revo’s where John became completely disconnected from his board, mystically reconnected before landing like angels were his dance partners. John could smoke Italo at Trestles. So could Griff, Ethan, who ever.
If he wins it will be gods will. If he loses it will be poor judging.
Italowers Treferreirastles
you worked very hard at that one, but eventually pulled it off.
How come my comment about Harry Bryant and Coco Ho being a couple got deleted?
Did you include “cunt”?
No I didn’t.
I did reference Stab High and that Zeke retard