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Aranui 5 and bad non-Polynesian tattoo.
The Aranui 5, main picture, and, inset, a cute Wednesday from the Addams Family tatt, not available on the A5, unfortunately.

Cargo freighter despatched to Teahupoo as floating hotel for Olympic athletes will offer “first tattoo studio at sea”

The Aranui 5 will offer athletes the chance to be decorated with Polynesian-style tattoos based upon their life stories.

Last year, as Paris 2024 fever started to build, Games organisers announced Olympic athletes would not be staying in that pretty little town at the end of the road and would instead lodge in a floating hotel anchored just offshore. 

The Aranui 5, which makes a 12-day circuit of French Polynesia every month, has been described as “the Pacific’s strangest cruise ship” and “the weird offspring of a love affair between a cargo freighter and a passenger liner.”

It ain’t luxury by any stretch but a serviceable and pleasant enough joint to spend a couple of weeks on and necessary after a local Teahupoo hotel, which had been shut for 26 years, was unable be readied in time. 

Now, it can be revealed, the Aranui 5 will offer athletes the chance to be decorated with genuine Polynesian-style tattoos based upon their life stories after one of its massage rooms was repurposed into a floating tattoo parlour. 

The ship’s resident tattooist Eddy Tara averages fifteen tattoos a week and says,

“I first discuss with the client to find out what he’d like to represent. All the pieces I make are unique to the person wearing them. The tattoos tell their story, their experiences, and their feelings. But the symbols used are all the same. It is the symbols and placement together that tells the story. They tell their own story, like in a book that they’ll keep for life inked on their skin.”

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26 Comments
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Picard Madeoff

Too bad BG didn’t sponsor a giveaway trip for a us cretins to spend the comp on that ship!

justiceminister

There will be all sorts of things available on this ship. An a la carte menu of all the delights available will be presented to all the athletes as they board. Some may miss their heat times though. At least they can get the story of why in tattoo form from this Eddy Tara bloke.

Keith Grace

Is there anyone here completely confident these Olympic games do anything positive at all for surfing in the long term?

Top Cunt

This is a great time for pip to cover-up that monstrosity on his chest

Reece spoon

Ffs isnt there an old shark rips man in half in one bite story u coud drag out instead of this shit

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

I swear I’m quitting surfing

NEGATRON

Lion tatt’s all round!

Occ Topus

Or at the very least, a Cowardly Lion tramp stamp for Pip.

deeks

That’s not Wednesday ! That’s That Michael Jackson dead cunt

Rich Marx

The ship circulated a memo saying that it is vital that Joe Turpel stays away from the ship employee responsible for sewer discharge while rehearsing for and during the broadcast.

Gadoot

I hear Elo isn’t allowed within 100ft of it.

Picard Madeoff

Rumor has it Elo and his comfort dog are headed to a furry convention, so he’ll miss this event

Dogsnuts

Gastro and Covid breakout could only derail this shitty forecast further.
Xox

deeks

The floating toilet will strike again

Instalo Feedeira

TEAHUOO, tea who poo?

Com Turren

Polynesian style tattoos on white people certainly is a classy look

Gadoot

It’s the only time cultural appropriation bothers me.

RQ.

dreads on us whites gives me the shits. i had them in the early 90’s and would love to go back and tell myself what a dick i was / am.

Fig Jam

Let me save you the trouble, you dick.

RQ.

thank you for your service fig jam. any time you want me to call you a dick out of nowhere, let me know.

Low wide stinkbug stance

I once dated a chick with butterfly tramp stamp. Didn’t know she had it until I rolled her over. Really bothered me. Tramp stamps are for skanks. Had to cut her loose.

Stick man

100%

Sean Connery

It’s great advertising at the bar though.

Com Turren

the girl of Low wide stinkbug stance must be above skankspiscion

Otto

The Plan…The Plan? The Pain… The Pain

frank

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