What are the tell-tale signs that surfing is over for you? And what is on the other side of a life without waves and surfboards?
In Chas Smith’s most important video to date, the noted author and hater of surfing lists the tell-tale signs your time as a surfer might just about be up.
How do you know when the time is right?
- You’re on too much foam. Big Surfboard will try to tell you, ‘Hey man, the high-performance surfboard is only for a tiny segment of the population, the segment that surfs well. You need to be on a longer, thicker board. Go try a nine-footer, try a Glider, try a thick, squashy fish.’ Trying something new might be fun…sometimes… but if you no longer have a high-performance board in your quiver or you’re unable to ride it with grace and art, you need tot quit surfing.
- When you hate it if the waves are great.
- When you look at Surfline and see it’s one-foot windblown slop for the week and you punch the air and go, yeeeeah!
- When your first emotion stepping a toe in the water is to cringe.
- When you look at your friends on surf trips via Instagram and your very first impression is, what a waste of time and money. Scrolling through their posts, seeing them shoulder hopping and not really in the tube but stoked, if your first inclination is to think, what a waste, it’s time to quit surfing.
- When you travel to Paris for the Olympics instead of Teahupoo where surfing will be but then in Paris you start to get itchy ’cause it’s too closely connected to Olympic surfing and you fly north to Copenhagen, then you know it’s time to quit surfing.
And, what happens when you quit? Can you still call yourself a surfer?
And, then, what happens when you no longer surf? What new experiences open up?
Essential.
How to know when it's time to quit surfing!
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America’s favorite former surfer knows what’s up
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When you spend more time writing about your bourgeoisie European travels and culinary conquests or your daughter ballet career.
I had opposite reaction, like, uh-oh!
When you have to ask the Beach Babes to carry your log down to the beach from the parking lot.
uh, asking a beach babe to carry your “log” is illegal in many parts of the world…….unless you’re married….to the babe.
ha, ha, nailed it
Everything has its end, it was time to let it go. I peaked in Hawaii in terms of performance, physicality and gutsiness. SoCal was just a year-long off ramp from surfing for me and by the end I was ready. I’ve since left SoCal and the woman that convinced me to move there for greener pastures.
You specifically might find this funny, I’ve picked up road cycling! Enjoying it much more than I thought I would. Feels like a very age-appropriate hobby.
been watching the Tour de France doc on Netflix – never been a road biker, but that show is spellbinding!
The biking this is bigger than you can imagine. One of the best surfers I know threw away his boards and moved to Europe to bike. (Married a very cute Jewess too!)
The “just rolled out of bed” look is a hard one to master!
I do not, instead just have the monthlies. Wife swears by the dailies too though, so maybe will have to switch it up.
That’s a wonderful list of 6 Dez. Do you have a similar list for when its time to quit writing articles and go to rehab? Asking for a friend (his name is Chad).
When you spend more time commenting on line than surfing. So probably most regular commenters here.
reluctantly agree after suurfing a week or so ago
fucken pathetic 😒
How do you know when the time is right to stop visiting BG?
The first time you visit, after that its too late.
I need Lasik if I ever want to be able to surf again. Cost 7k. Launching my go fund me here today. Thanks for your donation in advance.
Contact lenses no good? I couldn’t surf without them
I lost a few pairs underwater and gave up on contacts.
Can’t resist opening my eyes underwater.
Doctor told me “Don’t get contacts they’ll make your pterygiums worse!”
We’ve had this chat cb. I think you were unlucky. I’ve haven’t lost many, although I’m semi conditioned to close my eyes underwater cos I grew up in hella pollution, but they’re mostly open.
have worn contacts while surfing since the 80s, only lost one time. Did drop one and ruin it during a surf trip in CR, so ended up spending a couple weeks with only one contact in during multiple sessions, depth perception bad the first day or so then eyes somehow adjusted, crazy.
Cant get them in
When you write a book!
It’s time to quit surfing when you start arguing politics on Beach Grit
Not now, I’m too close to my goal of converting you to human!
HAHA. NEVER!
I still have my “wolf suit” and “make mischief of one kind or another” on a regular basis, and I still have my boat if I need to escape to…………
can’t stop now – need your minute by minute recap of tonight’s speech. I’ll need it posted by 530am pacific tomorrow to give me enough time to digest before work distractions kick in.
I had to stop.
I’ve been on the IL for the last 5 months, unable to surf.
Don’t know if injury stoppages fit into Chas’ voluntary quitting criteria, but, it’s kind of quitting.
oh, did you mean can’t stop the political rhetoric?
I haven’t watched one minute of the convention.
Me neither re the convention. And hard to believe the debate was only 3 weeks ago – the amount of upheaval and chaos since then has been unbelievable, and that’s just on the Dem side. You couldn’t script this stuff if you tried.
Yeah, sounds like the Trump Train is moving forward full steam ahead while Biden is stumbling around the tracks looking for the ice cream he dropped. Time to get on board the Party Train, my friend.
When you reply to your own BG comment under a different Disqus handle name
Haha fuck surely this doesn’t really happen 🙈
Xox
or upvote your own posts!
“You need early quit surfing”?
Xox
You’re more likely to run into your Hezbollah captors in Paris. So, yeah, you got that going for you.
When you sit in the lineup boring the shit out of younger people regaling them with your grandiose stories of surfing in the past.
When you have more boards than waves you can catch on an average surf.
If you own a sprinter van.
If you spend more time commenting here than getting wet.
“When you have more boards than waves you can catch on an average surf.”
I resemble that remark.
Mind you, 90% of these are ones I found by the side of the road; put out for trash/treasure as people are wont to do round these parts. Most of them too slim for my meaty density, and usually peppered with dings from being chucked around under someone’s house for years.
I’ve chopped a couple down and made weird fishy things with them, or genuinely patched some up to be used in earnest. I should start giving them to needy-looking kids at the beach.
It’s probably time to quite surfing when you are more into perfecting your backyard glassing technique than dealing with agro young cunts at the shifty peak.
To be honest the underside of my house is littered with old boards. All for nostalgia purposes. I guess I meant more like if you have a bunch of new boards just to have them instead of using them.
I know what you meant. Was just gassing.
How can ya fly Paris to Copenhagen if you never left Cardiff by the Sea ?
Kinda like the time you (never) went to Brazil.
Photographic proof please Chas.
P.S.
In more important Olympic stuff.
Here’s the women’s draw with a possible outcome.
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Seems that Carissa is guaranteed to medal, and only one of the heat 4 (hard heat) women will even get to the quarters, whereas one of the heat 7 (easy heat) will make it that far too.
Whoever decided on the heats is fuckin’ dodgy…
Lets see the betting slip!
I haven’t placed a bet yet, just wanted to see what a possible outcome looks like to show how unbalanced the heat draw actually is.
Hmmm. File under ‘how to know when its time to quit surfing’.
Doing gods work here Beef. Crack yourself a beer or two. Some good calligraphy on display as well. I can’t do a straight line and struggle to read my own writing at times.
I reckon swap Brissa for Defay. Somehow her late drop to long bottom turn seemed really effective.
Maybe start with quitting the durries
How good are durries though!
Xox
Yuk