Chas Smith issues rare mea culpa after Filipe
Toledo rides a smallish tube to become King of Teahupoo.
Filipe Toledo rallies entire nation behind
gold medal dream, “This was more than one brave hero threading that
smallish tube!”
By Derek Rielly
No stakes higher for Filipe Toledo. A father behind
him, a nation rallying and an evil villainous surf journalist
brought low.
In today’s episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing, the
controversial surf journalist issues a rare mea culpa
after his claim that Filipe Toledo would never stiffen his spine at
Teahupoo.
Well.
“Yesterday, Brazil’s Filipe Toledo scratched into a four-footer
and, now, Filipe Toledo is the King of Teahupoo. Ladies and
gentlemen, I was proven wrong. This was more than one brave hero,
threading that smallish tube.
“Filipe Toledo rallied a nation and the Brazilian surf fan came
ready. A trademark mixture of death threats and poop emojis rained
down upon the offending surf journalist, bashing and breaking him,
allowing Filipe Toledo to come out of the barrel, arms raised in
victory.
“A day that maybe is the most historic in surfing history. I
would argue Filipe Toledo’s Teahupoo Olympic tube rivals any great
moment that you care to conjure. No stakes higher. A father behind
him, a nation rallying and an evil villainous surf journalist
brought low.
“Yes, I only played a small role in this epic tale, but it was a
necessary role.”
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Jackie Robinson, always a thrill to watch when the surf
gets a little hot. | Photo: ISA/Tim McKenna
Filipe Toledo fails in bid for Olympic gold
as Teahupoo turns into “a deadly paradise”
By JP Currie
Nearly every man met the challenge head on. Nearly
every man.
Who’d have thought the Olympics could provide the most
entertaining day of men’s professional surfing in
memory?
Teahupoo was huge, cerulean blue, and fearsome. It looked
exactly like the deadly paradise it had been hyped to be.
Nearly every man met the challenge head on. Nearly every
man.
TLDR: if you missed today’s action, I implore you to re-watch
heats four, five and six, at the least. The sixth, between Brazil’s
Joao Chianca and Morocco’s Ramzi Boukhiam, may well belong
somewhere in the pantheon of greatest ever.
I missed the opener between Jordy Smith and Peru’s Alonso
Correa, and the convoluted process of getting a stream means no
chance of a replay at this early stage. Please let me know if I
missed anything of note, beyond the fact a virtually unknown surfer
put paid to Jordy’s Olympic dreams.
I did catch the second heat between Japan’s Reo Inaba and
two-time world champ, Filipe Toledo. But we’ll return to this.
Suffice to say that when Griffin Colapinto and Kauli Vaast hit
the line-up for heat three, their smoothness and composure was such
stark contrast to the previous heat it was like being bathed in
blood-warm water by a bevy of beautiful handmaidens.
Both men were selective, catching just five waves between them,
but local boy Vaast chose the best brace, edging out Colapinto, who
might have won three or four of the other heats today.
Vaast had looked very stern on the boat before the heat. His
comfort in the line-up here is a certainty, so we might reasonably
assume the occasion was the cause for tension. This seemed to be
evidenced by an exuberant claim for a chunky wave that he was not
especially deep on.
On paper alone, I was not especially hyped by the prospect of
the next heat between veteran Frenchman, Joan Duru, and a surfer
representing Mexico (but entirely unknown to me), Alan Cleland.
More fool me. And from this day forth I will take note of the
name.
Cleland was brash and swaggering, and his surfing backed it up.
A no-hand barrel was the greatest example of this. If he’d been
dressed in a pair of Billabong rising sun boardies, we might have
been forgiven for thinking the Second Coming was upon us.
But he came up against Duru in the form of his life. The
Frenchman expertly threaded deep, technical barrels to earn a pair
of nines and a heat win which was ultimately deserved, yet not as
comfortable as the scoring discrepancy might suggest.
And then came the Medina show.
His level of excitement to be unleashed upon these conditions
was palpable, and the 9.90 he was awarded for his second wave
should really have been a ten. Two judges agreed.
It was a perfect wave, the stuff posters are made of. He hung
onto the drop by the tips of his toes, committing his entire soul
to the make. Flying out with the spit, he launched off the back of
the wave, body straight and torqued, as if he was walking through
the air.
The score made mockery of the history of high nines.
“A beautiful, life-threatening wave,” said Chris Cote.
After this he was rampant, even grinning from ear to ear as he
was plucked from the melee of a non-make by the Tahitian water
patrol. He backed up with a mid-seven, and the heat was over.
Medina lives for days like this.
All that power, all that love of the game. On days like today it
comes to the fore.
If you’re one of his few remaining detractors who professes to
love surfing, well, you should hang your head in shame and set fire
to your wetsuit.
In truth, he deserved a better opponent than an out-of-sorts
Kanoa Igarashi, but it wouldn’t have mattered. The only man in the
world who can defeat Gabriel Medina at Teahupoo on days like today
is himself.
Somewhere around this time I noted the cleanliness of the
broadcast. There were no breaks, no missed waves, no irrelevant
interviews, and no clown princes spruiking ladders or noodles.
The surfing simply flowed in all its glory, and that was
enough.
And it would have been criminal to interrupt any second of the
heat between Joao Chianca and Ramzi Boukhaim.
It was an exhibition of such quality and commitment that, truly,
no man deserved to lose.
Both held high nines backed up by eights, and both threw away
further eights.
Boukhaim looked like he’d flipped the heat late with a 9.70, the
highest score of the match, but Chianca was undeterred, turning the
heat with an 8.80 as the clock ebbed away.
Really, you should just watch it and savour it for yourself.
But the story of this heat is much deeper than what we saw in
the water.
Boukhaim, the veteran who battled for years to make the WCT,
only to injure his ankle in the days prior to the first event and
miss the whole season.
Then Chianca, who is only now returning to competition after
being pulled unconscious from the water at Backdoor prior to the
start of this year’s Tour.
In these men, there is nothing if not total commitment.
It was hard to imagine we could better this heat, and that
turned out to be the case.
The match-up between Jack Robinson and John Florence held
promise of explosive beauty for fans of professional surfing, but
as is so often the way with these marquee match-ups, it failed to
flare.
Both men came out primed for tens or zeros. They blew two waves
apiece to begin before Robinson found a little rhythm to take the
win with just mid-range scores.
Florence failed to make even double figures in his heat total,
as unlikely a scenario as you might imagine given the conditions.
Perhaps one of his heavy beatings early in the heat was to
blame.
The waves were a little less perfect and a little less
consistent throughout the match-up. The irony of the two best waves
we’d seen all day rolling through unridden in the seconds after it
finished was not lost.
After this the wind turned, strengthened and ruined the party.
Ethan Ewing bettered Connor O’Leary and the comp was called off for
the women who had been slated to follow. More’s the pity.
And so what of Filipe Toledo? What did our two-time world champ
do on this day of days?
Well, for a long while it looked like he might repeat his
infamous zero point heat total, but as it was he notched a 2.46.
Three waves attempted, none critical or close, the highest coming
in at a 1.43.
He was roundly trounced by the committed Japanese surfer, Reo
Inaba, who deserved the victory regardless of Toledo’s no-show.
Inaba charged and grinned throughout. Even when he was ragdolled
by the heaviest wave in the world, he still came up smiling.
Toledo, by contrast, was locked back into his familiar grimace,
looking like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world. Ideally 24
hours in the past, posting an obscene number of Instagram stories
highlighting his waves from yesterday.
But pay for his hubris he did.
With all sincerity, I hope he is ok, because I can scarcely
imagine a greater swing from high to low.
Yesterday, his demons had been vanquished, silenced and sent
back to that dark chamber in the pit of his soul.
Today, they are back upon his shoulder, wailing and cackling
into the shot blood of his eyeballs.
And I fear that when it’s all said and done, it won’t be two
world titles and some of the most dynamic surfing ever done that is
Filipe Toledo’s legacy, but simply a handful of waves he refused to
paddle for.
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Open Thread: Comment Live on shocking Day
Three of Olympic Shortboard Surfboarding!
By Chas Smith
Amazing!
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Yang Siqi (pictured) not shrinking from moment. Photo:
Instagram
Hero of China Squad and entire Olympics
Siqi Yang stamps mark on intensely lully day two of Teahupo’o
Games
By JP Currie
"Who doesn’t want to see the People’s Republic
smash Yankee dreams?"
An unsurfable day for most of it by WCT
standards, I think it’s fair to say.
Windy, intensely lully, very few barrels to begin.
But then, a wave or two that looked like it had been sent from a
different day entirely.
Barton Lynch and Shannon Hughes employed their highest pitch and
caffeinated cadence, with a liberal sprinkling of WOWs, to elevate
the mood of the lulls.
It began with the hero of not just China’s Olympic squad, but
the entire Olympics, Siqi Yang.
The diminutive fifteen year old from landlocked China attacked
Teahupo’o’s unbarelling but still critical four-foot walls with a
backhand that belongs at the highest level of women’s surfing, and
certainly leagues ahead of two-time world champion, Tyler
Wright.
Queue up the wildcards, WSL.
Yang Siqi will meet Marks Caroline in round three. (Thanks to
Cote Chris for clarification of the Olympic house-style commentary
by using surnames first.) A tough draw, for sure, but who doesn’t
want to see the People’s Republic smash Yankee dreams?
In a line-up of sixteen women for round two, yet only three WCT
surfers, it seemed somewhat unjust that two of them met in the
fourth heat, Picklum Molly and Defay Johanne.
Once again the Irukandjis were not so much deadly in the water
as dead, as Picklum lost out to Defay.
Meat trays flooded with tears and spittle, green and gold
sagged, pints of VB evaporated into domestic violence.
It was for no lack of commitment on Picklum’s part as she threw
herself into several non-makes, including surfing one wave all the
way to achilles deep water and having to scramble, starfish-like,
as Lynch noted, off the coral reef.
But Defay’s 7.83 for a rare, clean backside barrel was the
decisive blow and the best wave of the day in women’s competition
by eye and number.
French territory draws French territory in the next round as
Defay matches up with Fierro.
In the men’s competition it took a full twenty-five minutes and
a restart before O’Leary Connor struck the first blow against
Germany’s Elter Tim.
Elter Tim was committed and looks like he has the potential to
be a good backhand barrel technician, but O’Leary notched a pair of
mid-sevens in quick succession at windy Teahupo’o, and this was
enough.
I must confess, reader, to losing faith in the potential of
Teahupo’o to keep me conscious through the wee small hours at this
point in proceedings.
Conditions were inconsistent and slow. In response, Hughes and
Lynch seemed amplified to amphetamine levels of wittering.
Due diligence aside, I was not compelled to re-watch the meagre
victories of Smith Jordy over Waida Rio; Vaast Kauli over
McGillivray Matthew; Boukhaim Ramzi over Perez Bryan, nor even
Cleland Quinonez Alan over Criere Andy.
However, on evidence of the scores, I did tune in for the final
two heats of the day, and this was tactically astute.
Robinson Jack and Mesinas Luca began their heat by paddling each
other around the line-up trying to establish position. In doing so,
they burned ten minutes of clock and missed the first couple of set
waves that rolled through, waves which all of a sudden looked like
prime Teahupo’o and an entirely different day than the one that
began.
Robinson’s opener was seemingly conjured from whichever salty
deities he often seems to be in cahoots with. A near-perfect 9.87
for a deep, clean tube was by some margin the best wave we have
seen since competition began.
He backed this up quickly with a seven, and then the waves
disappeared. Both men sat in a still, blue ocean as the minutes
ticked away. There was no opportunity, there was nothing to be done
for Mesinas. He had come face-to-face with wizardry.
I wondered what viewers not versed in the vagaries of swells and
lulls (or Robinson’s watery black magic) must’ve thought of surfing
as competition?
In the next heat, Toledo Filipe vs Stairmand Billy, nothing
happened for ten minutes and more.
Toledo’s first wave, a 7.33 for a tube that looked like it
belonged in Surf Ranch rather than Teahupo’o, was perhaps the most
competent wave he’s ever ridden here.
In response, Hughes Shannon produced the most honest monologue
of surf punditry in living memory. Toledo had “really struggled
when it comes to waves of consequence”, she noted.
He had made a semi final here in the past, Hughes went on to
say, but it was “one of the smallest years they ever held the event
here. Some of the smallest waves they would hold competition in.
That’s his bread and butter.”
But she didn’t stop there.
“He really struggles to throw himself over the ledge”, she
stated plainly. “Out of 23 heats he’s surfed at Teahupo’o, he’s
finished with less than a ten point total in twelve of those heats,
which is a pretty poor record.”
But again, Hughes wasn’t done.
“Back in 2015, he had a heat with Italo Ferreira, where he lost
without catching a single wave. There were surfable waves
throughout that entire heat, and Italo surfed all of them.”
(Lynch, ever the positive apologist, stated in solidarity that
he’d registered a zero point heat total in a masters heat.)
Irrespective of what transpired, let’s have a standing ovation
for Shannon Hughes, ladies and gentlemen.
For once, it was honest and transparent surf commentary, and
that’s a rare bird. Hughes did what other pundits have shied and
shirked from too often, and that’s to her eternal credit.
But the confidence Toledo had gained from his opener was
parlayed into his last. With just five minutes left of a slow heat,
he took off on a solid-ish Teahupo’o wave, threading a deep tube
for a 9.67.
It was good, yes, but compare it to Robinson Jack’s wave, if you
will.
Toledo’s screaming claims were surely heard in Paris, and it was
certainly the best wave he’d ever ridden here.
Is it enough for redemption? He will feel so, and you have to
grant him that. Wider opinions will vary.
Pre-competition yesterday, you could get 70/1 on Filipe Toledo
to win a gold medal. Today, just 20/1.
Is that a good bet? In wild and wooly conditions we might yet
see, not for my money. And I throw money at more or less
everything.
It’s difficult to know what to expect for the remaining
competition. There will be waves, but they will likely be blown
out. But there are some stellar match-ups to anticipate if a window
can be found.
Look to Vaast Kauli vs Colapinto Griffin in heat three; Chianca
Joao vs Boukhiam Ramzi in heat six; and the pick of the bunch, fit
for a final of any competition, Florence John vs Robinson Jack in
heat seven.
Pray for barrels as Filipe Toledo has prayed for this day.
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Filipe Toledo immortalised at Teahupoo.
Filipe Toledo and the single greatest
moment in surfing history!
By Chas Smith
"The Filipe Toledo story could crush Cool Runnings,
Miracle on Ice, Eddie the Eagle and I, Tonya as the greatest
Olympic film ever…"
Surfing’s ground has forever shifted. An
extraordinary 9.67 reverberating all the way from the middle of the
Pacific to the very rues of Paris and very likely beyond. A new
king of Teahupo’o crowned. To hell with The People™ and their
eternal whinging.
All hail Filipe Toledo.
Now, you may certainly be aware of my own… dubiousness when it
came to the best small wave surfer in the world and his willingness
to throw himself over the ledge at what the Wall Street Journal is
calling “the most terrifying venue in
the history of the Olympics.” Toledo’s historic 0.0
heat total at Teahupo’o in 2015 and his unwillingness to cross
swords with two elderly gentlemen in 2022 setting a narrative that
the lion might be afraid.
Yesterday, though, the two-time world champion slid into a four
foot wave, threaded the tube, explained by Barton Lynch to be
called such becasue “that’s the exact shape of it
that you see from the inside,” and came out
roaring.
His father, Ricardo, growling himself, very much essential in
the usurpation of the throne.
Before Olympic Shortboard Surfing had gotten underway, the elder
Toledo had sensed evil talk about his son, particularly from this
very “unhappy” and “nonsense” surf journalist here, needed to be
brutally and mercilessly brought under heel. Utilizing the powerful
and unified voice of the Brazilian surf fan, victory was quickly
established, as the aforementioned passionate bloc heeded the call
with a trademarked barrage of death threats plus poop emojis.
The way thus paved for the biggest single moment in surfing
history.