Laird Hamilton (pictured) evolved.
Laird Hamilton (pictured) evolved.

Surf deity Laird Hamilton makes brazen claim that foiling is “highest evolution of surfing”

"Any surfer who is evolved is going to end up foiling..."

Is there any surfer worth more salt than Laird Hamilton? I dare you to find me one. King Triton has made a home in the sea, riding a variety of crafts along the way from ski boot tow boards, Oxbow longboards, windsurfboards, mid-lengths, stand-up paddleboards and foils.

Of the latter, the surf deity just made the brazen, even controversial, claim that it is the “highest evolution of surfing.”

In a to-camera bit interlaced with moving images of the demigod riding swell on a foil, Hamilton continues, “Any surfer who is evolved is going to end up foiling. If you don’t than you’re stagnating. Because there are only two things happening in life. You are either going down or you are going up. So choose one.”

Well?

What do you think about that?

I don’t know if I back the zero sum “either going up or going down” bit of this. I like to think of life as a long plateau where you reach stasis, sit back with a little serving of foie gras, a healthy pour of chilled Sancerre and gaze into the middle distance for a few decades, at the very least.

Yes, it’s a good life on the continent and I would like to challenge Hamilton to a lifestyle duel. It will be like John Henry versus the machine. In this version, Laird is the machine and I am John Henry. He is out there cold plunging, pool training and foiling. I’m sitting in the sun at a Parisien sidewalk bistro (2nd, 4th or 6th arr.) asking for one more healthy pour of chill Sancerre while actively helping others quitting surfing.

How to know when it's time to quit surfing!

Who is more evolved now?

More as the story develops.

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Simcha
Simcha
2 years ago

Good one ( I love homonyms).

Simcha
Simcha
2 years ago

The foilers take some of the peacefulness out of the lineup.
They are like some new chess piece, pumping around the chessboard, as surfers sit in just the right spot on an ocean, and are delivered a peak experiance.

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
2 years ago

There’s a Indo dude on YouTube who built a speedboat from literally junk. He pulled the motor from the sea floor and rebuilt it. Anything can be done I guess

John Wallace
John Wallace
2 years ago

Hey…. Save me a spot at that Bar of your’s . I’m on my way now.

Tom
Tom
2 years ago

What about those electric foils tho that cunt seems to be on? That’s a travesty
If he can foil across the pacific on one swell from say hawaii to Aus i’ll maybe change my mind as highest evolution

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
2 years ago
Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago

one of the best films of the 90’s.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

Tin foil hat surfing is the highest form of evolution in surfing. That tweaker driving the beaten up Mitsubishi starvan, riding that brown potato chip with mismatching FC1 and his wetty cut off at the shins muttering about Harold Holt and the Chinese… that’s god level evolution

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago

After witnessing many decades of evolution, I’m beginning to think this “evolutionary” thing isn’t working out so well.

Simcha
Simcha
2 years ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

We are Devo.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago

Laird hasn’t shown the world his foil surfing has kept evolving where he can now foil switch stance.

Chas for dar win!

RQ.
RQ.
2 years ago

if i ever see foiling look even remotely fun i will maybe take this claim seriously.

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
2 years ago

Look I hate dimwit Laird as much as anyone and I’m sure he remembers when he got some well deserved cracks and slaps in the Kahului Gaspro parking lot but he is not totally wrong. Now the last thing anyone needs are a bunch of aquatic guillotines kooking it in the lineup and foil surfers are better off restricted to carving waves way outside of any breaking waves but there is a niche for no-sail foiling surfers that won’t clash with real surfers.
But the bigger picture here is the quantum leap that foils have allowed every sailing craft to achieve. The paradigm shift was huge in its scope from the smallest of recreational sailboats to the largest of racing boats. Just watch some SailGP comps and tell me the future hasn’t arrived. I know JP would concur but he’s probably afraid all you limp dicks will pile on if he extols too much on the sublime beauty and speed of foiling.

HaoleBoy
HaoleBoy
2 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

How many guys did it take to give him cracks/slaps?

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

Fargot, who created the first hydrofoiler?

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

Sail GP is insane, as are the America’s cup boats….I have wondered if it’s possible to do mini foils on S/bds like 6″ high????
evolution is da Revolution!!

janeausten
janeausten
2 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Those thought occurred to me also, watching the Finals at San Fran [bravo Spain]…to the batcave, Brutus, if anyone can fashion such a contraption, it’s you.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Didn’t cheyne try it back in the 80s?

janeausten
janeausten
2 years ago

Sort of, he had the Ben Lexcen winged keel thingy fin set up a la The America’s cup winged keel.

Simcha
Simcha
2 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

You couldn’t pump around like a kangaroo.

Simcha
Simcha
2 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

Breakneck speed.

K0o_o0K
K0o_o0K
2 years ago

“either going up or down”… what am i 15? as if i have a choice

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
2 years ago

Not exactly.
Most heroin is injected, using a syringe.

justiceminister
justiceminister
2 years ago

It will boost his gay icon image big time I would expect. Foiling or fooling around, standing atop one of these crafts like a Greek wrestler on a plinth. I suppose people will do anything to move product.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
2 years ago

So many slaps!

k55
k55
2 years ago

On a foil, your board isn’t even actually touching the ocean or the waves. Its just air underneath and around your actual board.
I like touching the Ocean when I paddle, and like feeling the Ocean underneath my board when riding a wave or carving a turn.

But might be the perfect solution for Laird and his friends though,
Air foils—for—air-heads.

Top Cunt
Top Cunt
2 years ago

Foil me once, shame on you
Foil me twice, shame on me

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
2 years ago

SUP sales must be lagging

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago

Foiling , the peak of white privilege

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
2 years ago

It’s true, it’s Pretty difficult to imagine some kid in a third world country fashioning one out of some scrap plywood and a cooler lid

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
2 years ago

Everyone knows the highest evolution of surfing is stubbornly riding a board that’s designed for someone better than you, bogging rail a lot and mistiming sections.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
2 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

But those times you belt it! Worth all the humiliation!
Xox


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